Who is the best person to give you advice?
Today is day 2 of my blog marathon. If you don't know what that is, please read my previous post.
When I do a blog marathon, I usually do not plan my posts. I write whatever is on top of my head, that particular day. I feel it is more spontaneous and natural that way. It feels like having a conversation with a friend--not just pushing out content, because one has to!
This morning on my walk (I walk my dog every single day for 45 minutes to an hour), I was thinking and pondering about an exchange I had with one of my readers. Hundreds of readers write to me--and I do try and respond to ALL.
There was a girl who wrote to me saying her parents want her to get married to someone of their choice, from their caste. She is financially independent is just 23. She is in love with a person whom her parents wouldn't approve of. She asked me what to do.
I thought about it. I remembered my friend and fellow author Kanchana Banerjee's tweet
I completely agreed with Kanchana and also the article on Women's web where five women who got married before 25 shared their experiences.
I advised this reader to make her parents understand. The way I saw it--there were just three choices: Either she agreed to get married to the guy her parents chose, or she waited for a couple of years (to see if her love would last) or she opposed her parents and got married straight away.
I sent her the links to the above article. I told her to be strong, whereupon she told me "It is my life." I have no idea what she meant by that. I have no idea if she was telling me not to interfere?! Perhaps she wasn't. It was she who asked for my advice and I had given it in good faith.
I told her to think about it and do what was best for her in the current circumstances.
I do feel the best person to give you advice is YOU. Very often we ask others for advice---someone who we think is wiser, and more experienced. But the thing is their life choices, their courage, their outlook and how they view things might be completely different to yours. They might offer you advice in good faith (and because you asked). But it is up to YOU to weigh their words and decide what is best for you.
Seek advice by all means.
But I do believe no one can really give you advice. Deep down, we all have an inner compass. It points us in the right direction. But sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of daily living, we forget to listen.
Sit in silence each day. For a brief while. Switch off from everything.
The voice inside you then becomes clear.
And suddenly you know what to do.
Tell me your thoughts on this one in my comment box.
ps: #WakeUpLifeIsCalling has been chosen as Amazon's best reads for the month!
Get your copy: http://preeti.io/awake
"Deep down, we all have an inner compass. It points us in the right direction. But sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of daily living, we forget to listen." Loved it Preeti.. You are such an amazing honest writer.ReplyDelete
The struggle many light-hearted persons face is that you know what you want, how to achieve what you want, but don't have the guts to take that step because you might hurt your dear ones.
Indeed! Thanks for your comment ReshmiDelete
Super Mam. Actually when i saw the title of this post i thought you were raising questions to the readers. Then immediately i answered myself that the best adviser of my life is me. but after that i read the whole post and i was smiling while reading that.ReplyDelete
So our thoughts are in sync!Delete
Very interesting post, Preeti! I have a habit of consulting others when I need some advice about something in my life. I may speak to one or many people and at the end of it all, I realize, the best person to advise me, is ME. I like to switch off my internet connection, close my eyes and think think and think some more about what all is going in my head. Finally, I reach a point where I get the answer to what I was looking for all along. So glad you decided to have a blog marathon this month. Thank you!ReplyDelete
Thank YOU! :)Delete
Wonderful post. well said and beautiful lines. Same incident happened in my life as well. You give advice and they feel like we are interfering and give an attitude. We tend to help them but in turn they become your enemies. You are right in saying Best advice you give is YOU.ReplyDelete
I don't know if this person meant it that way :)Delete
I love Your Blogs, I love your Blog Marathons. I have been reading your books ever since and I really like solution that you offer and also Like how much depth you have. I Adore you mam. 💙ReplyDelete
Thanks a TON Vasudha! <3Delete
Very good article Preeti! Have been following the inner voice for a while and life has never been better :) When people like you write about it, a lot more people start thinking about the same. Thanks to you for sharing such wonderful insight with a wider audience. As I had indicated yesterday this is the first thing I read this morning and it put a big smile on my face which is still lingering :)ReplyDelete
So glad to have made you smile Indu :)Delete
And your response to my comment brought another smile this time a much bigger one:)Delete
The same thing happened to me last night. My friend was seeking advice from me for a person who loves her, but she cannot love him back. I think this blog would help her. Thank you for sharing your kind words ma'am.ReplyDelete
Hope it helps !Delete
Well written blog on seeking advice ��ReplyDelete
This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much for your blogs. you and your books are part of my life.these are very inspiring.i am fond of your books.i read it many times.you are awesome.thank you.ReplyDelete
Thank you Arunima! <3Delete
Very very trueReplyDelete
Yes mam i totally believe this .Many a times it has so happened that ppl ask for advice or suggestions by their choice and the suggestions that are suggested to them becomes their decision and finally by chance that thing goes wrong....what they do is blame the person who has suggested. What i feel is wenever we have confusions of what to do and what not to it's better to talk to people whom you know, but the final decision should be completely by own.ReplyDelete
And Mam your writings are so beautiful.
Thank you 😍
You are so sweet! Thanks for the appreciation. I guess people want sounding boards..Delete
I too had a similar experience of being asked advice and on giving the advice being insulted or misunderstood. So then onwards I say, it is your life, your decision. If I was in your place I would have done this but since I am.not there you have to decideReplyDelete
Yeah that's right. It's finally our own calling. We have to take 100 % responsibility for our decision and try and do the best in our circumstances.ReplyDelete
Thanks for your Marathon blog , I love the subject line which you decided to post it. It's very often in a group superior or any experience person start giving the advice if someone needed it badly but person doesn't express his voice for advice or any help. If you give them may be they take it in different way. How do you advice to handle this type of situation.ReplyDelete
Very true, end of the day there could be no one other than yourself who knows you best. It’s just that we let the Noice of the world suppress the Voice of our soul that we don’t listen to it.ReplyDelete
Very true, end of the day there could be no one other than yourself who knows you best. It’s just that we let the Noice of the world suppress the Voice of our soul.ReplyDelete
Such a relevant topic today. Loved your expression. Yes, Its so true we are the only reason for what we are. Owning up ourselves, our actions and our decisions are the parameters of mature thinking. At some point in our lives we ought to be matured and accountable to ourselves. And no one can tell best what's good for us other than our own inner voice.
Looking forward to read your views each day.
Lovely explanation ! Thanks for your marathon blog.ReplyDelete
Well said that deep down there is the inner voice which always speak to us , but many times we ignore it.
Your piece of advice i really liked , "sit in a silence & just switch off from everything for a while."
I m going to definitely try it out everyday to build up that good piece of habit.
Thanks for this great post.