Skip to main content

Celebrate your children's qualities--not just their exam scores!



These days the board exams results are out. Parents are proudly putting up their children's academic scores all over social media.  I understand how proud they are and how it is their 'right', and their 'reward' and how they 'mean no harm' and 'they are sharing because they are proud of it' etc.


But it's something I would never do. I do believe there are far far more important things in life than academic scores.

Many many years back, when my son was in school, I remember he had scored 98/100. The other mothers called me up asking me what marks my son had got.  I refused to tell.
I still hold the same view.


Our education system is such that the 'rank holders' are glorified. Those who don't do well academically are somehow 'lesser beings'. Those who get into  an IIT or a Medical college are 'exalted'. Others---oh well. This is the general mindset that prevails.

A note about this, appears through Ankita's words in my latest book 'Wake Up Life Is Calling'

I am sharing  a part of that  note.

 There are no grades given for how sensitive a person is.
There are no grades given for how kind a person is, or how
helpful or how funny. There are no grades for the degree of
friendship you carefully cultivate over years. No grades for
loving. No grades for laughing.
And yet, friendship, laughter, love, kindness, hope, joy,
generosity – these are the most important things in life. And there is not a single grade to measure that.

There are no grades given for LIFE.

  Your thoughts please?
__________________________________

Get the book: Preeti.io/awake



Photo by Vasily Koloda on Unsplash

Comments

  1. And yes you are absolutely right! Same has happened in my family as well with huge pressure from parents to score good grades. Though it's important to get into good college but my good memories from my school and college are those of extra curricular activities. My awards in games, painting and debating. Still these things give me pleasure which my 9-5 job is not able to give. I read a lot and paint a lot and love a lot. These things keep me going !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True..Important to have that balance.

      Delete
  2. Well said... Kids quality should not be valued only on the exams. But also encourage them to choose their own pass they are interested in.Parents should be happy with whatever they choose to do rather than forcing them to do what parents wanted them to do. Their happiness is priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Preeti,
    I appreciate you for bringing this up to ponder upon and discuss. Public figures like you have this onus of stirring the notions of our society and provide them with the lenses to see in bold what they have been consciously or subconsciously overlooking.
    We have different senses for different jobs. If all of them start mimicking one and do what it does, our existence and functions would fail. Similarly, we all have been blessed by one unique skill or talent different from others. How can we all do the same job equally? The society needs all sets of skills and experts in order to run smoothly. Only Doctors and Engineers don't suffice. We need chefs, Carpenters, plumbers, soldiers, artists, sport players, athletes, etc. too for a wholesome and complete life in and around us. All these integrated make a whole circle of life.
    Hope, we as young parents realize and accept our variously abled kids and nurture their skills. This will give rise to a content society in perfect harmony. Where everyone is happy doing what they are doing. These happy souls will radiate joy to whoever they touch around them multiplying it manifold.
    Looking forward to hear from you more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Alka. And other professions are no 'lesser'. This is the mindset I am calling out.

      Delete
  4. Beautiful ❤️ This is one of my favorite Notes from the Novel, I read it again and again and it feels So Nice Everytime I read it. Why do we try to Grade Everything in life which would stress and make us sad and Not focus on Something which is Simple and would makes us Happy!
    This Mindset Should Change, We should ensure the kids that we love them the Same regardless of their Marks! ❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Buvana..Everything doesn't depend on academic grades.

      Delete
  5. I look forward to a time when Indian education and society changes the focus from grades to what is truly important in the initial years of a child's growth - curiosity, compassion, kindness, resilience etc. which will help them go a long way in leading a happy and fulfilling life. Like others have mentioned, people like you talking about these publicly do help accelerate the same ~ Indu

    ReplyDelete
  6. So very well said Preeti.. Absolutely agree..
    Society puts unnecessary pressure on kids..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does. We don't let our kids be.

      Delete
  7. You have taken a very relevant topic. Btw Ankita's notes are all treasures. Every note holds a strong point of view with productive help

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well said Preethi!! I totally agree with whatever you have put out there.
    As a counsellor and coach, I have worked with many children, who are harbouring very low self esteem, just because their academic performance is not 'up to the mark'.
    Whether they are good in art, sports, dance, music etc. is not counted at all, if they are not extraordinary performers in these fields as well. Then where does love, friendship, humor, sensitivity etc. stand?
    I am feeling so happy reading your note in the morning. especially after feeling a bit low seeing all the hype about marks in social media all over. Thank you dear, for bringing me back to positivity!! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes--please share widely. We need to spread this message! I really feel bad for those kids whose self-esteem goes for a toss because of our educational system that rewards exam toppers.

      Delete
  9. Awesome.. "No grades".... Shared with my friends and colleagues who are grade mongering parents..

    ReplyDelete
  10. Exactly mam...There is no grades given for life..you are such an inspiration for me ...because your writing reflects reality.
    Whenever I read any story book, my parents say always " why are you wasting time reading story books.." I can't never tell them what do I get from a book..book refreshes my mental health..and makes me happy....

    ReplyDelete
  11. When it comes to education, I realize that in India the parents put a lot of pressure on the children to do their best. When they do not do, it's like the sky has fallen and it's the end of life. What parents need to realize is that children are trying their level best to perform well. But if they do not perform up to the mark that others think they should, they should not blame them, but praise them for trying their best and excelling. It is nice to read about students doing well, but when the news is posted on Social Media, I feel it makes the other kids feel left out of embarrassed, especially if they have not scored as high as other kids have. Each child is special, each child is different - They will write in the exams only how much they can and not more than they cannot. I would like to congratulate all the students who have received their results. If you have done well, then that sounds wonderful. If you feel you did not get as much as you wanted, just be happy you got what you got. I am sure you can achieve anything you want in the future!

    ReplyDelete
  12. good book https://www.myhentaigirl.com/

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your leaving a comment! Okay--I appreciate your leaving a comment if you have something nice to say ;-)