Does your friendship pass the 5 C test? (blog marathon post 1)

Jenelle Ball

Hi there!

Thank you for joining me on yet another journey of a blog marathon. People who read this blog regularly will know that I do these blog marathons (a term I coined) from time to time. It means I will post every single day, for the next 30 days.
Some people think that I have already written 30 posts and I just copy paste them! No, I don't!
Each post is written fresh, crisp and delivered from my laptop to your inbox. Daily.

So if you have subscribed after seeing my facebook/twitter posts,  a warm welcome. And for the old readers---a big  warm happy welcome too.

The big news from my end is that I won 'Indian of the Year Award.'

It was covered extensively by the media and hence I will not go into details. You can click on the above link to know more or you can check out my facebook photos.

I am always grateful to all of you, for the love and support you show me. I feel motivated and inspired by the emails that you guys write me, the comments you leave me and the encouragement that you give me. A big thank you to all of you.

My best friend called a little while ago, and it made me think about friendships. I am blessed to have some amazing people who are my closest friends. A lot of times, I get asked this question: Are the friendships that you depict in books possible in real life?

I can vouch for it--yes, they are very much possible, and yes they exist. I have been BLESSED with some great friendships, but here's the thing: It has taken me YEARS to develop them. Over the years, one learns to separate the grain from the chaff. And it is only when we are faced with adversities do we know ho our true friends are.

When you are fine, and when things are going great for you, then everybody wants to be your friend.

But when the tide turns, there will only be very few who get your back.

In this day and age of social media, it is easy to be a 'fake friend' or an 'absent friend' if I had to use a kinder term..  By fake friend I mean the ones who show their friendship by commenting an 'aww' and 'hang in there' if you have shared a status update of something that didn't go well for you. Real friends turn up at your home and do stuff with you to cheer you up.

I am not implying that all the social media commentators are 'fake friends' or 'absent friends'. But a friendship on social media is all about taking 15 seconds to type out something, before the next status update or a buzzfeed video catches your eye.

Here are five things  which are a must if you want to develop true friendships:

1. Communicate: Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. A friendship is no different. I have good friends who are scattered in various parts of the world. But we communicate via emails, phone-calls and instant messages. We know what is happening in each other's lives.   Sometimes, we may go for weeks without communicating, but then we always make it a point to catch up. I recently received a lovely hand-written letter from one of my British friends in the UK. It made my day. Today I completed my hand-written reply and will be mailing it tomorrow. The forgotten art of letter-writing! It works wonders. Try it!

2. Connect: There has to be a deep  connection between you. Else no matter what you do, the friendship will not survive. At times, this deep connect that you feel, might be one-sided. You might be chasing your friend constantly but the friend may not be responsive to you. It is possible that they are going through something messy in their lives, which they want to sort out. Be patient. If there is a deep connect, they will come back.

3. Consistent: A good friendship is consistent. You are there for the other person, no matter what. It is not conditional. If you have this in your friendship, you can be certain that it will survive.

4. Change:  We change every single day. Life throws us challenges daily. We react to them. Sometimes we bend, sometimes we stand strong, and sometimes we yield. We are not the person we were yesterday. Change is the only thing which is constant in life. A good friendship recognizes this, and it changes with time. One of my closest friendships (We have been there for each other since we were 10!) has seen these changes in us, and it is still going strong, simply because we have recognised these changes.

5. Care: There are two kinds of caring. One is where you want your friend around, because you want them as a 'support' for yourself. Perhaps your friend is a good listener and you are utilising this all the time. Perhaps your friend makes you laugh and  you remember them when you need a laugh. The second kind of caring is when you stick around even when your friend is grumpy, annoyed, irritated and has nothing much to offer you. You stick around because you care deeply. No friendship can survive unless both care for each other deeply.

New post tomorrow.

Till then, be thankful for your true friendships.

Love

Preeti

ps: leave me comments please! Tell me what you thing, tell me about your friendships.

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