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Two easy things to do to improve your relationship (Post two blog marathon)



                                                                            Photo by Todd DeSantis on Unsplash
 
 

Every morning, my mother sends me a good morning message. Sometimes they are photos she clicked. Of familiar objects in her house, of a familiar road in her village in Kerala, a tree where we used to sit talking, a flower which bloomed in her garden. Each image evokes a myriad memories and a nostalgic feeling so deep, I ache for beautiful Kerala.

Sometimes she sends a message, a forward that she found interesting. Today she had sent one with the picture of a Buddha, and it read "Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life and your behaviour decides who stays in your life.'

I replied back to her saying sometimes it is their behaviour. That people leave for no reason, even though you did nothing. There are other things going on inside their head. Things you don't comprehend, because they have not shared it with you, for reasons known only to them.

Even the closest of friends may hold back many things. This might be because of the way that other person behaved in the past, or because of some insecurity that if you shared this then it might lead to an outcome you want to avoid.

A relationship thrives best on openness. Many a time, in a close relationship such as a marriage or a relationship with deep commitment, the couple learns how to 'tip-toe' around the other, being careful not to press the 'trigger points'. Issues get swept away.

Not talking about it, will not make the problem go away. It only builds up resentment deep down. if the other person is non-confrontational, they quietly walk away, leaving you puzzled, wondering what you did wrong.

I talked to my mother about it, later in the day,via a phone call. She said 'We cannot change other, Preeti. The best is to focus on things which make us happy.'

She is right.
If you have a committed relationship, think about it. Think about what you are holding back, and how best you could express it.

And after you are done, go do one thing that makes you happy today. Only if you are happy can you make the other person happy.

Tell me in comments what you did.

And come back tomorrow for a new post.

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If you like my blog, then you will love my books. Check them out: http://preeti.io/amazon

Comments

  1. Brilliant blog! Every one in this world can relate to it.

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  2. Superb and thought provoking. I loved the thought very much especially ""Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life and your behaviour decides who stays in your life.' its very true indeed...

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  3. I helped an unknown get a job :-)

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  4. I loved it.... Openness needed for sure... And sometimes relations break even if nothing is wrong.....

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  5. Nice post preeti. But i dnt know if openess is key to happiness always. Sometimes we tend to hurt others by our openess.

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  6. Well i spent quality time with my 2 year old son today and that gives me immense happiness.

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  7. You have a very beautiful way to express relationships and the concerns it holds.

    And I cooked a new dish today and that made me indeed happy!!!

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  8. Beautiful article.To be happy you don't need fortune or fame.
    It's about giving the other time and space,
    Beautiful relationships last for ever,
    Where men and women respect each other.!

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  9. Thanks for writing it Preeti. Love you for this <3

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  10. Very good one.. loved it

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  11. Brilliantly said by your mother. Now today I get to know no matter how well educated you are your parents are always be a teacher to you who taught us priceless chapter of life what a book cannot.we shall try to be surrounded by our parents and carers and cures.

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  12. I feel in close relationships, there are instances when you can not say everything openly. There are times in every relationship where you are just needed to sit back and watch.... sit back and hope things will fall in place. This might not make you happy, but I think that is the need of the hour. Understanding that is the only way to ensure continuity.

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  14. You are absolutely right. it depends on their thought. Nice post.

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  15. Mam I regularly follow your blog, inspiring from your blog marathon I started journal marathon with my friends, where we write journal every single day for one full month without skipping. This turned as a habit now. I wish you do many more marathons how busy you might be.

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  16. Mam I regularly follow your blog, inspiring from your blog marathon I started journal marathon with my friends, where we write journal every single day for one full month without skipping. This turned as a habit now. I wish you do many more marathons how busy you might be.

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  17. Fantastic blog..I fully agree that in any relationship transparency and open Ness tends to open the relationship for a new beginning ....Saying nothing or keeping it inside destroys any relationship...By Achal Mogla

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  18. I really really loved this post. Think I read it at least 3 times. Probably because I am kind of going through everything which you wrote in this post. It's always a coincidence because whatever you write happens to apply in my life - either in the past or the present! I loved the following lines, "That people leave for no reason, even though you did nothing. There are other things going on inside their head. Things you don't comprehend, because they have not shared it with you, for reasons known only to them." Looking forward to the rest of the posts this month! Take care.

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  19. Agree your one happiness, spiritual indulgence and time for self comes first before doing something for others. The forward is powerful when we reflect on it. There are things that the heart cannot explain but as we take things forward, it's our decision.

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