Skip to main content

Two easy things to do to improve your relationship (Post two blog marathon)



                                                                            Photo by Todd DeSantis on Unsplash
 
 

Every morning, my mother sends me a good morning message. Sometimes they are photos she clicked. Of familiar objects in her house, of a familiar road in her village in Kerala, a tree where we used to sit talking, a flower which bloomed in her garden. Each image evokes a myriad memories and a nostalgic feeling so deep, I ache for beautiful Kerala.

Sometimes she sends a message, a forward that she found interesting. Today she had sent one with the picture of a Buddha, and it read "Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life and your behaviour decides who stays in your life.'

I replied back to her saying sometimes it is their behaviour. That people leave for no reason, even though you did nothing. There are other things going on inside their head. Things you don't comprehend, because they have not shared it with you, for reasons known only to them.

Even the closest of friends may hold back many things. This might be because of the way that other person behaved in the past, or because of some insecurity that if you shared this then it might lead to an outcome you want to avoid.

A relationship thrives best on openness. Many a time, in a close relationship such as a marriage or a relationship with deep commitment, the couple learns how to 'tip-toe' around the other, being careful not to press the 'trigger points'. Issues get swept away.

Not talking about it, will not make the problem go away. It only builds up resentment deep down. if the other person is non-confrontational, they quietly walk away, leaving you puzzled, wondering what you did wrong.

I talked to my mother about it, later in the day,via a phone call. She said 'We cannot change other, Preeti. The best is to focus on things which make us happy.'

She is right.
If you have a committed relationship, think about it. Think about what you are holding back, and how best you could express it.

And after you are done, go do one thing that makes you happy today. Only if you are happy can you make the other person happy.

Tell me in comments what you did.

And come back tomorrow for a new post.

_____________________________________
If you like my blog, then you will love my books. Check them out: http://preeti.io/amazon

Comments

  1. Brilliant blog! Every one in this world can relate to it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Superb and thought provoking. I loved the thought very much especially ""Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life and your behaviour decides who stays in your life.' its very true indeed...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I helped an unknown get a job :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I loved it.... Openness needed for sure... And sometimes relations break even if nothing is wrong.....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nice post preeti. But i dnt know if openess is key to happiness always. Sometimes we tend to hurt others by our openess.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well i spent quality time with my 2 year old son today and that gives me immense happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You have a very beautiful way to express relationships and the concerns it holds.

    And I cooked a new dish today and that made me indeed happy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beautiful article.To be happy you don't need fortune or fame.
    It's about giving the other time and space,
    Beautiful relationships last for ever,
    Where men and women respect each other.!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks for writing it Preeti. Love you for this <3

    ReplyDelete
  10. Very good one.. loved it

    ReplyDelete
  11. Brilliantly said by your mother. Now today I get to know no matter how well educated you are your parents are always be a teacher to you who taught us priceless chapter of life what a book cannot.we shall try to be surrounded by our parents and carers and cures.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I feel in close relationships, there are instances when you can not say everything openly. There are times in every relationship where you are just needed to sit back and watch.... sit back and hope things will fall in place. This might not make you happy, but I think that is the need of the hour. Understanding that is the only way to ensure continuity.

    ReplyDelete
  13. It was additionally discovered that digital book readership favors individuals under age 50. A substantial greater part of digital book perusers read printed books also. Almost 50% of the respondents said they favored ebooks over printed books. award winning books

    ReplyDelete
  14. You are absolutely right. it depends on their thought. Nice post.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Mam I regularly follow your blog, inspiring from your blog marathon I started journal marathon with my friends, where we write journal every single day for one full month without skipping. This turned as a habit now. I wish you do many more marathons how busy you might be.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mam I regularly follow your blog, inspiring from your blog marathon I started journal marathon with my friends, where we write journal every single day for one full month without skipping. This turned as a habit now. I wish you do many more marathons how busy you might be.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Fantastic blog..I fully agree that in any relationship transparency and open Ness tends to open the relationship for a new beginning ....Saying nothing or keeping it inside destroys any relationship...By Achal Mogla

    ReplyDelete
  18. I really really loved this post. Think I read it at least 3 times. Probably because I am kind of going through everything which you wrote in this post. It's always a coincidence because whatever you write happens to apply in my life - either in the past or the present! I loved the following lines, "That people leave for no reason, even though you did nothing. There are other things going on inside their head. Things you don't comprehend, because they have not shared it with you, for reasons known only to them." Looking forward to the rest of the posts this month! Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Agree your one happiness, spiritual indulgence and time for self comes first before doing something for others. The forward is powerful when we reflect on it. There are things that the heart cannot explain but as we take things forward, it's our decision.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your leaving a comment! Okay--I appreciate your leaving a comment if you have something nice to say ;-)

Popular posts from this blog

Lots of me! An update of what I have been upto, the last two weeks.

Over the last two weeks, I have spent more time in planes, airports, cars and hotel rooms than I have at home. To say that it has been awfully hectic would understating it.
I have been travelling. A LOT. Those of you who follow my Instagram feed, would  know that I had been to Mumbai, Delhi and Jammu over the last two weeks.

In Mumbai, I had an interview with Sonali Bendre. She runs a book club called Sonali's Book Club. They pick up a book, read it, and then discuss it. I was overjoyed that she found my book fascinating. We had an in-depth conversation about the book. It was easily one of the best interviews i have had.
It was live on Facebook as well as Instagram.
In case you missed it, do watch it below:





I also had a live interaction with Midday, and FirstPost.
That was fun as well. You can watch the Firstpost one below:




In Delhi, I had a lovely interaction with InUth. They asked me if I like Durjoy or Ravinder. You can see what i answered in the below video :)


I also had se…

Ten things nobody told you about being an author

1. People you don't know will love you such a lot.





2. People you don't know will hate you.





3. You will travel to places you never dreamt you could go.





4.The places you travel to, will include those places inside your head you never want to visit.





5.People will mistakenly think something you write is about them.





6. You will offend people.





7.You will lose friends.





8. You will discover that the friends you lost weren't really friends in the first place.





9.You will  never have bad experiences. They just turn into writing ideas.




10. You will become a curious observer of the human race. (oh wait! You already were!)



______________________________
Buy my latest book: http://preeti.io/a100lf
Check out the reviews!

A Hundred Little Flames - Chapter 1

There were two completely unrelated incidents that happened on Sunday, which would change Ayan’s life forever.

1. He attended an office party thrown by his boss in a swanky uptown pub in Pune.
2.More than a thousand miles away, in a small village in Kerala, not identifiable by Google Maps, his grandfather had a fall.

On Monday morning, unaware of anything but the clock on his computer ticking, Ayan took a sip of the horrendous office tea with over-boiled tea leaves, too much milk and sugar. He had only forty-five minutes left before the meeting was to begin. Beads of perspiration trickled down his forehead into his eye, and he blinked. His brow furrowed, he sat hunched, with an ache in his neck, his fingers flying across the keyboard. He felt as though somebody was raining blows inside his head. His throat was parched despite the tea, and now his stomach began to feel queasy as well.
He regretted having that fourth tequila last night. But Randhir had insisted. You can hardly…