Skip to main content

Two easy things to do to improve your relationship (Post two blog marathon)



                                                                            Photo by Todd DeSantis on Unsplash
 
 

Every morning, my mother sends me a good morning message. Sometimes they are photos she clicked. Of familiar objects in her house, of a familiar road in her village in Kerala, a tree where we used to sit talking, a flower which bloomed in her garden. Each image evokes a myriad memories and a nostalgic feeling so deep, I ache for beautiful Kerala.

Sometimes she sends a message, a forward that she found interesting. Today she had sent one with the picture of a Buddha, and it read "Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life and your behaviour decides who stays in your life.'

I replied back to her saying sometimes it is their behaviour. That people leave for no reason, even though you did nothing. There are other things going on inside their head. Things you don't comprehend, because they have not shared it with you, for reasons known only to them.

Even the closest of friends may hold back many things. This might be because of the way that other person behaved in the past, or because of some insecurity that if you shared this then it might lead to an outcome you want to avoid.

A relationship thrives best on openness. Many a time, in a close relationship such as a marriage or a relationship with deep commitment, the couple learns how to 'tip-toe' around the other, being careful not to press the 'trigger points'. Issues get swept away.

Not talking about it, will not make the problem go away. It only builds up resentment deep down. if the other person is non-confrontational, they quietly walk away, leaving you puzzled, wondering what you did wrong.

I talked to my mother about it, later in the day,via a phone call. She said 'We cannot change other, Preeti. The best is to focus on things which make us happy.'

She is right.
If you have a committed relationship, think about it. Think about what you are holding back, and how best you could express it.

And after you are done, go do one thing that makes you happy today. Only if you are happy can you make the other person happy.

Tell me in comments what you did.

And come back tomorrow for a new post.

_____________________________________
If you like my blog, then you will love my books. Check them out: http://preeti.io/amazon

Comments

  1. Brilliant blog! Every one in this world can relate to it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Superb and thought provoking. I loved the thought very much especially ""Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life and your behaviour decides who stays in your life.' its very true indeed...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I helped an unknown get a job :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I loved it.... Openness needed for sure... And sometimes relations break even if nothing is wrong.....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nice post preeti. But i dnt know if openess is key to happiness always. Sometimes we tend to hurt others by our openess.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well i spent quality time with my 2 year old son today and that gives me immense happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You have a very beautiful way to express relationships and the concerns it holds.

    And I cooked a new dish today and that made me indeed happy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beautiful article.To be happy you don't need fortune or fame.
    It's about giving the other time and space,
    Beautiful relationships last for ever,
    Where men and women respect each other.!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks for writing it Preeti. Love you for this <3

    ReplyDelete
  10. Very good one.. loved it

    ReplyDelete
  11. Brilliantly said by your mother. Now today I get to know no matter how well educated you are your parents are always be a teacher to you who taught us priceless chapter of life what a book cannot.we shall try to be surrounded by our parents and carers and cures.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I feel in close relationships, there are instances when you can not say everything openly. There are times in every relationship where you are just needed to sit back and watch.... sit back and hope things will fall in place. This might not make you happy, but I think that is the need of the hour. Understanding that is the only way to ensure continuity.

    ReplyDelete
  13. It was additionally discovered that digital book readership favors individuals under age 50. A substantial greater part of digital book perusers read printed books also. Almost 50% of the respondents said they favored ebooks over printed books. award winning books

    ReplyDelete
  14. You are absolutely right. it depends on their thought. Nice post.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Mam I regularly follow your blog, inspiring from your blog marathon I started journal marathon with my friends, where we write journal every single day for one full month without skipping. This turned as a habit now. I wish you do many more marathons how busy you might be.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mam I regularly follow your blog, inspiring from your blog marathon I started journal marathon with my friends, where we write journal every single day for one full month without skipping. This turned as a habit now. I wish you do many more marathons how busy you might be.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Fantastic blog..I fully agree that in any relationship transparency and open Ness tends to open the relationship for a new beginning ....Saying nothing or keeping it inside destroys any relationship...By Achal Mogla

    ReplyDelete
  18. I really really loved this post. Think I read it at least 3 times. Probably because I am kind of going through everything which you wrote in this post. It's always a coincidence because whatever you write happens to apply in my life - either in the past or the present! I loved the following lines, "That people leave for no reason, even though you did nothing. There are other things going on inside their head. Things you don't comprehend, because they have not shared it with you, for reasons known only to them." Looking forward to the rest of the posts this month! Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Agree your one happiness, spiritual indulgence and time for self comes first before doing something for others. The forward is powerful when we reflect on it. There are things that the heart cannot explain but as we take things forward, it's our decision.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your leaving a comment! Okay--I appreciate your leaving a comment if you have something nice to say ;-)


Popular posts from this blog

FAQs about my writing course and a writing sample from one of my students.

As many of you who follow me on my various social media handles  know, I have started a writing course  called Fundamentals of Creative Writing: A project based course to strengthen your writing skills.

Since a lot of people are  asking me the same questions over and over, I thought I would do a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions), so that the next time someone asks me about it, I can point them here.


1. What is this course about?


 The course is a writing course, consisting of on-demand video lectures. It is divided into several sections. At the end of each section, there is an assignment for you to do and submit.
See in detail, what you will be learning HERE.

2. What is the duration of the course?

The duration depends entirely on you, as you can do the course at your own pace.
 Here's what you will get:




3. Is it just a one-hour long video?


No! Researchers have found that information is best retained when given out in short chunks and then you put to use what you just learn. So as per the b…

Love a Little stronger. Preeti Shenoy's next book releases on April 27th!

Hey!


This is the cover of my next book! It will be releasing on April 27th of this month. The cover was unveiled today in a live session on facebook

For those of you who have read 34 bubblegums and candies, this is a new version of that book. The most popular stories from that are there is this. But there are also a lot of new stories. It has five sections-- each section has stories about a certain theme. These are all TRUE stories from my life.

It's a book very close to my heart!

Here's what the back blurb says:




You can pre-order the book here: http://preeti.io/lals





  Tell me in comments, what you think about this!
   Super excited about it and waiting to hear from you.


      Love
      Preeti



Re-store : A delightful little shop in Whitefield, Bangalore.

All of us are guilty, at least to some extent  of hoarding stuff. We hold on to old things--be it clothes, books, utensils, footwear, knick-knacks or some such, that form the minutiae of our daily lives. Many a time these add to the the clutter too. Rare is the home which looks like the above pic.


I am a huge fan of Marie Kondo, and I highly recommend her book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up  which is more than just a book.

It is an entire philosophy, and a new approach. I read the book back to back, and immediately put into use the methods described in the book. I must tell you how wonderful I felt! I never thought that I could be that organised.

Clearing clutter, and the stuff that you no longer have use for, does release 'blocked energy.' There is no scientific or rational explanation for this. I only know that it works for me. Any Feng Shui practitioner and  loads of Eastern Schools of belief will confirm this.

I always make it a point to give away things I no longe…