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What being a father means.A guest post by Satish. ( blog marathon post 16)

One of the pieces that Satish wrote will soon appear in Chicken soup for the Father's Soul. He has written another piece on similar lines and I am sharing that with you. Here is a Guest post  by Satish.

 On being a Dad



 
Why are you not in bed? Do you realise you have school early tomorrow morning?
Why have you not studied today – you need to ensure you do well in life my darling!
Don’t climb that tree. You may fall and get hurt.
Why is this mess in your room? Look at the crumbs on the sofa and your clothes thrown here.
Why did you crawl in the bed between Mum and me last night?

Sounds familiar right? Typical father things, one would say. Mothers go through a lot for the 9 months prior to the birth of the child. They do afterwards too, but a fact often overlooked is that for a father too, the birth of a child is a complete change in life, forever. It is an extremely onerous responsibility which includes ensuring that the children are spoilt rotten and have everything which they themselves did not have as a child, protecting them from the minutest harm possible, trying to ensure they do better than everyone else in life and of course providing the right balance of attention to them.  

When my son was born it was one of the best and definitely the most amazing moment in my life. The 3.4 kg wonder the nurse carried straight from the delivery room to show the proud father (bawling because he had been brought out from the comfort of  Mom’s womb) was absolutely a marvel and I used to spend hours just watching his tiny hands, his movements, the gurgles and faces he made. When he walked a few tottering steps for me it was no less than Neil Armstrong’s walk on the moon. When a man playfully manhandled my son and he came crying, I was so enraged and went straight across to this person, screamed at him and asked him to take me on if he had the guts, at that moment coming close to hitting someone physically for the first time in my life.

I was watching a programme the other day on TV which advises parents to let children make their own mistakes and learn from them in order to let them become more independent. I realised that there were quite a few times when I told my children not to do a lot of things and was therefore, probably not allowing them to make mistakes and learn from it. My wife is completely the opposite of me and feels that they should learn their lessons in life and that I should not be so restrictive in my outlook. I tried to understand what caused me to worry so much about them and thought back to when I was a child. I realised that my father had done quite a few of the same things with me and in fact, even now worries daily about me, my job, my health and a million other things even though I am now a father of two and have my own family. At times I do feel that he should let go and let me do things my way and if required, learn lessons the hard way but then it struck me immediately that my son too could be feeling the same way. Make no mistake, I think my dad is the best dad in the world – a caring, considerate and lovable individual and I do love him a lot as my son loves me too no doubt. But then why do we do what we do?

I am very proud of my son and when he gets recognised in school, holds his own with some bully, looks after his sister and someone comments on how well behaved he is then my heart swells with joy and pride. I realise then that I have had the best of both worlds – A great dad as well as a great son. What more could one ask for?

There are some good days when everything works like clockwork – when the homework gets done, rooms are cleaned up, chores are done, Xbox gets switched off immediately when told, food is not dropped on the carpet and clothes are picked up from the drawing room among other things. Then there are some days (though very few) when I tear my hair out especially when I get back from office and find my wife stressed because of a number of things the kids have done and I tell my son that when he becomes a man and has his own family, I as the grandfather will come to his house, throw popcorn on the sofa, send his child to his room to disturb him during the night, pamper my grandson a lot and watch with glee when he goes through what I am going through right now in terms of studies 

I realise that we do all of this because we care about our children, want to protect them from any pain or discomfort and want only the best for them – in short we love them a lot. Life is, I guess, ensuring the fine balance between loving them and ensuring we don’t end up smothering them completely.

Kids will be kids and we should I guess let them be. If they don’t do a bit of mischief when they are small then when would they do it? When they are big?! Naah. But then hopefully my son also realises that Dad will not be Dad if he didn’t do what he did-- worry, care, love and panic with a bit of scolding thrown in here and there. Maybe the realisation will dawn when he reaches where I have and can look back on what I went through and see what my son is going through at the same time. Whichever way you look at it, I love you Son and I love you Dad – I am just a father as my father is and as my son will be in the future. That is life and the phases of the Past, Present and the Future, so don’t judge me harshly.     
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Note: This post is also an entry for Blogadda's  Father's day Contest in association with Pringoo

Number one dad

Number  One



Current Mood Video (see right or click on link): Rod Stewart's Father and Son (I love Rod Stewart's version more than Cat stevens or Boyzone. Absolutely love Rod Stwart's voice. This song makes me want to cry sometimes)




Comments

  1. that is such a sweet post... the love of father often goes unmentioned... but they too play an important part :)
    lovely post :)

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  2. Awww - such a sweet post!

    A dad's role in the upbringing of a child is equally important to that of a mom....and you have captured a few of those aspects very well here :)

    I missed the classic "Satish humor" though ;) - love those kind of posts from him!

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  3. This post reminded me so much of the Prithvi Raj Kapoor-Raj Kapoor- Randhir Kapoor starrer "Kal Aaj aur Kal" where the grandpa on his deathbed says something on similar lines!

    Happy Father's day to all the father's out there!

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. They way u hv explained,the pictures came into ma mind..Gud one satish :)

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  6. Beautiful Post:) Happy Fathers Day!! What a talented couple you and Preeti are!! Kudos!

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  7. Great post... :)

    yup striking a balance is the most important thing.. Loved reading the post.. :)

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  8. Awesome post!! A dad's view can be put forth no better than this i think!! Great thoughts!!

    -Durga

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  9. Lovely post. What about dad-daughter relationship? I so want to read that!:)

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  10. That was just simply beautiful! :)

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  11. Lovely post Satish!! :-)Totally enjoyed it...
    But why only mention of your son??
    I first thought it was written sometime before your daughter was born. But then I read somewhere - 'dad of two'....
    :S

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  12. Thats a lovely post! It reminded me of how my parents were extremely protective about me and my siblings :) Thats the way all parents are. But now they are gradually learning to let go a bit. I felt really proud of them when my brother recently said that he gets ample freedom to do things unlike some of his college friends who are restricted.

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  13. Lovely post, Satish. We realise how right our parents were only when we become one, or are old enough to have our own kids :D

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  14. You did hound him enough to write a post :)

    Beautiful post highlighting the importance of a dad and why dads worry so much.

    Nothing about his relation with Purvi though :(

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  15. Nice post Satish.. I am a young guy and still not a father. I had a wonderful childhood with lots of freedom with my dad always there to support me. But I guess any father would have felt the same as you feel towards their son. Wish I had a time machine to travel back a few years !!

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  16. aawww!! Very nice post! :)
    I especially like the part where Satish threatens his son with a popcorn attack - :P Does it work at all by the way?

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  17. Very nice post! I m completely agree with you that children should be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them.

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  18. Very well written

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  19. A very touching, loving and caring post from a father and son.

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  20. dear all,
    I will let Satish answer the comments on this post as it is his post. I have no idea when he will do it though. Poor guy was working late even today.
    I must clarify (since a lot of you asked) that he had written two pieces. One was about his daughter and second about his son. The first one will appear in Chicken soup series, hence I did not put it up. This is the second one. I have entered it in the blog adda Fathers days contest.

    Thank you to all of you who read and commented here.
    Cheers
    Preeti

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  21. ..AWEsome! excellent

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  22. Wow nice post.. It captures all the emotions of a dad..

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  23. An awesome post. You already answered my question before I could even ask about the dad-daughter piece :). Hoping to read that one too as I have always heard and realizing personally that a dad and daughter share a special bond than a dad and son. Not sure how it works with son though :)

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  24. I don't think a gueat post is allowed in blogathon

    BTW Satish looking younger, kab ki photo hai ;)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Rohit: Photo very recent :) credit to photographer pls! :) 3-4 Guest posts of course allowed! if you object to 20 guest posts out of 30, I can understand :) Majority is mine only :) There will be one more guest post :)

    Dhanya, Harman,Thinker, Anusha: thank you ..i will let the man himself answer the comments :)

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  26. Is Satish using Santoor soap???

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  27. Fathers role often goes unnoticed , I am glad there is a fathers day for we would often miss saying thank you to him I beleive ...

    I loved this post .. HAPPY FATHERS DAY to all who read

    wish i could go back and tell my father How thankful i am , how proud i am .. Because of him I am where i am in my life ...

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  28. Satish.. there was not even a word mentioning about ur daughter ??

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  29. krish: please scroll up and read my explanation in bold above. An entire write up which is dedicated to his daughter will soon be published in chicken soup series.

    Bikramjit, Rohit: I will let satish answer :)

    ReplyDelete

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