In my last book there was a chapter called 'Radiators and Drains' (which was about people in your life falling into one of these two categories) which became really popular. In a nutshell (for those who haven't read my book) , it was about how someone in your life makes you feel so very good about yourself without false praise and who brighten up the world just by their presence (these are the radiators) and the opposites of these are Drains.
I have been getting a lot of mails about that, asking if grumbling about something or being upset about something makes one a 'drain'. NO! Definitely not!
It is impossible for anyone to feel peppy, happy and enthusiastic all the time. It is only natural to get a few knocks in life. If you haven't got a few knocks it means you are living in a safe zone and you need to really do things.
By knocks, I mean set-backs, rejections, disappointments and things not going the way you want them to. We all face them from time to time. It is only natural to want to moan a bit. But moaning all the time? That is what makes one a drain. Drains also are the ones who will find that little black dot and gleefully gloat over it. They are the prickers , the 'put-downers'. (Click on the links if you want a detailed explanation)
We all know people like that who moan and dump negativity on you, whether you want it or not. They go on about what is wrong in their lives (mostly everything is) and how fate has been unjust to them and how things are really terrible for them. They repeat this to every single person and sometimes you just cannot escape especially if they happen to be your colleagues or worse your life partner!
It is perfectly okay to feel sad and disappointed once in a way and express it to a close friend who can comfort and cheer you up.That does not make you a drain. But some people moan all the time, in various ways or sometimes they play the martyr or the victim. (I wish things were better for me). These are the people I mean when I say drains.
To the drains I have this to say: If you feel so bad about your situation, then do something about it! Stop moaning. Start acting. Do not dump your negativity on others please! They have their own problems without adding yours to the list.
Some people I know truly inspire me. Despite having real problems (like having lost an organ or having a terminal illness or having lost a child or sometimes even a psychiatric condition) they are so positive and so full of fighting spirit.
Life is indeed terribly short and so darn fragile. Things can change in one second (as I have experienced). A person who is smiling and talking to you today may no longer be in your life tomorrow. Death of a loved one can be so sudden, so unexpected and it is not always something that happens to other people. (I had always thought so too till it happened to me)
So laugh a lot, love a lot more (tell the ones you love that you do. It would make them feel on top of the world) , do the things that you have always wanted to do put keep putting off, follow your heart and LIVE life.
You have only one life. It is in your hands to make it a happy and contented one. You just have to change the way you look at it.
Then you will really find that true heaven is a place on earth ! :-)
Current mood video (see right): Belinda Carlisle 'True heaven is a place on earth':)