How honest are you in your relationship?
Hello there you wonderful person!
I must admit this lockdown is hard. It is Day 18, and I can't help thinking that though we were told it is 21 days, the fact it is the outbreak is hard to contain. Extending the lockdown seems imperative. India is fortunate that compared to US and Italy we have relatively tinier numbers. However, given our population, and how densely we're packed we need to be extremely cautious. So let's all stay home, stay safe, follow all precautions and send a silent prayer and thank you to so many on the frontline.
This morning, when I was walking my dog, I was thinking about 'honesty' in relationships. How honest do we want to be with our partners, our loved ones? By honesty I don't moral honesty, like cheating on them. That is not what I am speaking about.
What I am talking about is the question of how open do you want to be, if you know it will hurt their feelings? And yet, sometimes we as their closest friends and well-wishers, do need to tell them.
Here I make a distinction between what we think is good for them (don't smoke, exercise, eat healthy) and what they think is good for themselves. (It's okay to smoke, I will exercise but not daily, I don't always have to eat healthy). I firmly believe that if you are an adult, the choices you make are yours alone. If spouses or partners try and nag the other person to change, they never will. They will have to feel a need to change themselves.
At times, the person doesn't realise how they have changed. Example: They used to read a lot, and have stopped reading now, because they are spending a lot of time on the phone. In such a case, I would point out gently , saying 'You used to read a lot, and you love reading. What's going on now?'
You may substitute reading with anything else, in the aforementioned example.
Sometimes, I think we all need a nudge. I would appreciate if my closest people noticed something about me, which I hadn't noticed, and brought it to my attention.
Yet many people are afraid of confrontation or telling close people what needs to be told, as they are afraid of rejection or reactions. They brush it under the carpet, not willing to talk about it.
A close relationship should be such that you have the liberty to talk about anything under the sun. If you fight, it is important to fight the issue, not the person. if you get too angry, please let the other person know you need a timeout and will be ready to talk when you feel better.
I think honesty in relationships makes it richer, deeper and more meaningful.
Do you agree?
Tell me your thoughts in comments below. If reading in your mail, do head to my blog and talk to me in my comment box. I do love hearing from you. When I hear from you, it makes me feel like I am having a conversation, and that you care enough to reply back to me!
I will see you here tomorrow.
Till then, be honest! :)
Lots of love
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash