Sometimes we need to learn to take (blog marathon post 5)
Sometimes you need to tell it like it is. There is no other way. If you do not like something, you just have to speak up. Swallow the discomfort. Risk the anger. Wade out of your comfort zone. Let go of the need to please.
'Yes, I was upset about you doing_________' instead of 'No, I didn't mind.'
'Yes, I think you were uncaring, But it's okay.' instead of 'No, I didn't even notice.'
'Yes, I wondered why you have suddenly stopped communicating. I thought I was important enough for you to make time for me,' instead of 'You must be really busy.'
Must you always be blunt and honest and direct?
No, not always---only when you feel hurt.
Because, you need to respect yourself, value yourself.
You need to sometimes show others how to treat you and what you will take.
You need to stand up for yourself.
You need to explain your point of view--because only you can see the view that you do, from where you stand. For everyone else it is a different view.
You have to do it, because you deserve better.
You have to do it because if you do not speak up, there will be tiny cracks that seep in. Cracks that will grow with hurt and confusion. Cracks that will expand to breaks. And slowly, before you realise it, the relationship will fall apart because you have been giving and giving and giving.
There is only so much you can give.
You need to learn to take too.
Nielsen bestseller .No. 7. Read it yet?