Simple things in managing a home. Post 20.

One of the best things about writing a book like '34 Bubblegums and Candies' is the instant connect that anyone who reads it feels. The incidents are all true-life incidents and it is a non-fiction book. It falls under creative non-fiction which is one or the rarer genres. It made it to the National best-seller list, has gone into 7th impression (sometimes, I myself cannot believe it)  and I get hundreds of mails from people who share their life stories with me, after they read the book. They say that they truly feel they know me well as a friend. I feel honoured and humbled. I have only been honest and sincere in my writing, and that has touched and moved thousands.(The book sold more than 25000 copies and still counting).

I do try to reply to each and every mail I get, at least once. (If you haven't got a reply from me, it might have been pure oversight). Lately, I have been getting a lot of mails (at least 12 on the last count) asking about how I manage to do so much (writing, art, fitness and raising two children plus running a home) and how I organise my time. Usually to all the mails I get on these lines, I give them this link which was a post I wrote on time management.


Below is a mail (which has been shared after taking permission from the person who sent it--Name has been changed) which is on similar lines, but this mail somehow moved me.

 
 Hi Preeti,

My name is  Gargi* and I am a regular reader of your blog and books.

I am married with a 6 year old son and a full-time job.

I am left speechless about the way you handle so many aspects of your life...your home, your kids, your exercise, your career.

I am writing the email specifically to ask you about how you have brought so much organization and balance in your life. 

Is it possible for you to share the rules and guidelines by which you lead your life.

My intention is not to invade your personal space. I am at my wits end trying to do this jugglery act . I am out of shape, my home looks like we have shifted in yesterday and this state of chaos increases my irritation levels which results in a grumpy husband and a hyper-active kid.

The only aspect which has been working very well is that I cook fresh and well-balanced meals for my family.

I don't have any idea where to start in terms of exercise and cleaning up the house.

Is it possible for you to share the kind of things you do every 2 hours in a day so that it gives me some idea as to what I need to pay attention to and what can be delegated etc

Again, I feel bad asking about something as basic as this but I figured out that the only way I am ever going to learn this is from a person who has mastered this.

Any other tips/suggestions is most welcome.

Thanks in advance, 
Gargi* 


I thought I could answer this mail in detail here, as the next time I get a mail like this, I could always point them to this page, plus it would serve the purpose of my  'useful post' for the day.
So here goes:


Firstly I got married when I was just 23.I had a corporate career and it had just started out and was taking off well, but I quit my job and gave up my budding career. The primary reason for this was that I was certain that I did not want to send my children to a creche or a day-care or allow them to be raised by grandparents.(It is truly not easy to raise young children and if the primary care-giver has to be a grandparent, it is a huge burden even though they may not vociferously express it. Many grandparents have no choice in this matter--but that calls for a different post)

Did I feel bad to go from a 'working woman' to 'just a housewife'? Of course, I did. But the thing is, when I gave birth to my son  (and later to my lovely daughter) and saw their twinkling, bright button like eyes, I was certain I had made the right decision. I absolutely LOVE babies and children and having my own two children to love and take care of-- It was like someone had given me a treasure! I totally and completely enjoyed (and still enjoy) being a mother. Spending time in the company of my children is something I can do for HOURS.There was no way I was handing over my children to be raised by others.

My writing career started only in 2006, when I lost my dad. I had started writing the blog, and that took off in a way I never expected. (see this post for details) Before that I have worked with children and taught in many schools. I also had been doing my own workshops on developing thinking skills in children. By the time my writing career started, my children were no longer infants and did not need me all the time.

But my case is completely  different from Gargi's case, as I have never worked full-time, after I have got married. (for a brief while I did, but it was impossible for me to efficiently manage my home, plus work and kids, so I quit again)

 

 

What I would advise Gargi to do is this:

1. Wake up an hour early every single day:  The amount of time you gain and the amount you can achieve in that time is truly quite incredible. You could begin going for walks. It may be very hard at first, but soon your body will start responding and you will begin seeing results. Side by side, cut down on calories and begin to eat healthy. A good book I recommend (which I read recently)  is 'From XL to XS' by Payal Gidwani.

 

2. Hire an efficient cook: Get a cook to come at 6.30.a.m or 7.00.a.m and get him/her to cook nutritious meals. You save so much time when you do not cook yourself. Plan the previous day, what menu you would like the cook to make. Monitor how much oil he/she uses and emphasise that you want healthy food. Train the cook to make meals exactly the way you make them.

3.Involve husband and son in keeping home tidy: When my children were small and I needed them to clear up their pile of toys I used to play games with them like "Who will gather and put away the largest number of blocks in less than a minute?" We used a stopwatch which would beep. All of us would rush to do it, and it was a family activity which resulted in everything being put away. Your husband and child too have some responsibility in helping you to keep the place well.

4. Organise and manage kitchen well: I am sharing with you pictures of my kitchen shelves. 

As you can see, everything in my kitchen shelf is neatly labelled and everything is in transparent see-though containers. I have invested in a good set of containers for storage.

At a glance, I know what is running out and what needs to be stocked. I also have a pen and paper handy on the fridge, so that as soon as something runs out, I make a note of it. I have trained my maid also to do it. if she needs any supply (like cleaning liquid, broom) , she immediately writes in on my list. I have a calendar with boxes (it has pictures of all the current music favourites like Iyaz and Katie perry :-))  and I make a note of stuff like how many clothes have been given to the laundry/Ironing guy, when extra milk has been delivered, and also if a certain newspaper (I subscribe to three newspapers) has not been given on a particular day. At the end of the month, I just have to consult this calendar, while settling bills.

 

5. Give clear instructions and train the house-help well:  The house-help has to know what rules you want followed. She/he has to clearly know what their duties are and when they are supposed to do it. What I have done is that I have a made a list for the house-help as well. On Mondays, she  sterilises the kitchen towels, by boiling them in hot water for 15 minutes, with a disinfectant, On Tuesdays she  cleans the fridge and kitchen hub with detergent . For each day of the week, she has an extra task, apart from the regular duties like mopping-sweeping, cleaning kitchen, dusting, doing the vessels, chopping vegetables , putting out the clothes to dry and folding and putting away clothes etc. I do pay her very well too.

 

6. Leave it as you found it: A simple rule which a friend of mine follows and which she has made all her family members follow is 'Leave it as you find it' rule.She asks her husband and children to spend two minutes just before they leave the room, to put back things in their proper places, and to leave a room as it was when they entered it. The same rule for bathrooms. Personally,I confess, I am not that disciplined or strict--my kids often leave wet towels on the floor and leave their beds unmade and I usually clean up after them :-) (what the heck--once they go to college, the house will be so empty and everything will be super tidy anyway)

I do hope the tiny things I have written here help in some way.

Honestly, this is all I do. If anyone has any other tips for efficiently managing a home, do share them and I will update this post, crediting you.