Thursday, February 19, 2015

A warm mail and a small clarification (blog marathon post 19)


Here is a mail which I shared on my  Facebook author page today.(shared after taking the permission of the writer, of course)


I get many such mails. And for me, the knowledge that my writing made a difference in someone's life and helped them makes it all worthwhile. This is bigger than any award that anyone can confer on me.

One another thing that I have to clarify is how some people who feel connected with me, because they have read ALL my books, and ALL my posts,think that my expressing my inability to help everyone who writes to me is rude on my part.

I had a reader tell me this  face to face (as 'well intended advice' of course) and I clarified immediately that I definitely cannot help all  who expect to be helped because they have read my books and of course I will say so, without mincing words! Another reader wrote to me pointing out that I sign my books 'with love' to  'people I haven't met' and therefore it is 'rude and shocking' when I say that I do not know about the existence of some people and hence do not appreciate their writing me long mails which share their personal problems, expecting me to advise them.

Honestly I think it is rude on the person's part who writes me the mail, demanding advice about their problems. I can't fix your life. And if you write to any other author whose books you have read, I doubt if you would even get a reply!  (If you do, that is great. I would encourage you to write to them and seek their counsel)

There is a limit to what I can do! And there is a limit to being obliging too!

I think all of us at some point have to learn to say a firm no to requests that are unreasonable to you.
Else you will be walked over.

Till tomorrow---take care and learn to say no :)

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8 comments:

  1. it's easy to blame others, but we should understand the other side too.its not fair to expect anyone to do whatever we want to!

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  2. SO true! I can understand how difficult it would be for you to reply to each mail in a very packed schedule. And you not replying should not be misunderstood at all... Love you Preeti... Love your writing. Keep writing for those who really enjoy (like ME :))
    ohh yes.. The cover Pic is just too good.. Loved it.. :)

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    1. It wasn't about not replying..It was about my saying that I get annoyed when people write long long personal stories and expect me to reply. Apparently I am not allowed to express irritation on my blog :) Thank you for understanding!! <3 And thanks for the compliment about the cover pic.

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  3. Yes I am learning the art of saying No,not fully there but almost there

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    1. Yes..I think it is important. Sometimes I am a bit too blunt. But at least I am satisfied :)

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  4. You are not only an awesome author, but you have a lot of characteristics which I find very intriguing and has made a difference in my life. One of them is learning to say NO, which I was never used to before, but somehow getting there. Thanks for being an inspiration.

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  5. You have to say NO whether it hurts the other person or not. One should understand that their problems have to/can be solved only by themselves..!!!

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