Skip to main content

Take care of yourself. (post 29)


Most of us have been raised to 'be nice' to others. We have ingrained it to such an extent that we know no other way. Even when someone puts us down, we second guess and say to ourselves 'Maybe they didn't mean it that way..Maybe I am over-reacting'.

Here's the thing: If you felt bad about something that someone said, what is important is not how they meant it, it is how YOU felt about it.  People make disparaging remarks, out of envy. Sometimes, they are veiled. They are not direct references.

I remember one time when I had made an extra effort to dress up well, to meet a friend. She greeted me and enthused about how stylish I looked. Then in the very next breath, she went on to tell me about how my ear-rings did not match what I wore as a pendant or some such thing. I told her it was my choice, and that was the way I liked it. I closed the topic. Another time, I was telling  another friend, about how I wore only sarees to an International lit fest, as I was representing India. That person immediately made a reference to her friend, who did that at an international conference and someone told her that 'It was too much and she was overdoing it.'   I found that veiled reference  and indirect put-down interesting.
I don't think anyone has the right to comment upon other people's choices! How they dress is upto them.  If you do not approve, you can look the other way.
I detest unsolicited advice on the sartorial or any other  choices that I make.

Comments from close friends are one thing. But when someone you barely know, puts you down, it's time to 'not be nice'. Just walk away.
____________________________________________
Grab my latest: http://preeti.io/a


Comments

  1. Several incidents made me realize that being extra-nice is stupid. People start taking you for granted and start believing that they can say anything to you. It's really hard but I am learning that I need to speak up firmly, sometimes. People must understand that they can't say/behave as they like just because you are nice (and don't say anything in reply).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I give it back :) I don't keep quiet. I cannot be taken for granted. Not by anyone.

      Delete
  2. You are right madam.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My life my rules my choices.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really don't like it when others put me down with their rude remarks. I am a person who keeps quiet because I don't want to ruin the friendship. Also, I am not a person who will comment about others dressing style, talking, mannerisms, etc. Each person is a unique individual and it's not like everyone can behave just like the other right? I am sorry to hear that someone made a remark about your earrings. To me, you look great in whatever attire and accessories you wear and what really matters is your personality and how well you gel with others - It's should not be about whether you are a fashion diva or not! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This post was definitely NOT about my ear-rings or my sartorial choices. I do LOVE my accessories and I *am* a fashion diva :) (modest too :D )
      Thank you for the lovely comments you have been leaving on my posts Prathima. Much appreciated! <3

      Delete
  5. Yes I also feal bad anyone juj me in any sence .some time I choose profile pic which I like.and when juj and say ur profile pic is not gud I feal very bad

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes I also feal bad anyone juj me in any sence .some time I choose profile pic which I like.and when juj and say ur profile pic is not gud I feal very bad

    ReplyDelete
  7. It's cheap how some satisfy their insecurities by making comments on others sartorial habits. Good article to identify this set of people and not let them affect ones confidence.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your leaving a comment! Okay--I appreciate your leaving a comment if you have something nice to say ;-)


Popular posts from this blog

Re-store : A delightful little shop in Whitefield, Bangalore.

All of us are guilty, at least to some extent  of hoarding stuff. We hold on to old things--be it clothes, books, utensils, footwear, knick-knacks or some such, that form the minutiae of our daily lives. Many a time these add to the the clutter too. Rare is the home which looks like the above pic.


I am a huge fan of Marie Kondo, and I highly recommend her book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up  which is more than just a book.

It is an entire philosophy, and a new approach. I read the book back to back, and immediately put into use the methods described in the book. I must tell you how wonderful I felt! I never thought that I could be that organised.

Clearing clutter, and the stuff that you no longer have use for, does release 'blocked energy.' There is no scientific or rational explanation for this. I only know that it works for me. Any Feng Shui practitioner and  loads of Eastern Schools of belief will confirm this.

I always make it a point to give away things I no longe…

Win a trip to Mumbai, and attend Women Writers Fest with me!

Hello!

A bit  of news I have is this FUN and EASY contest that we are running, where two winners will be flown to Mumbai to attend Women Writers Fest  (click on link to know all details) with me ! We will also take care of the hotel stay for a night.  And ALL participants will get an assured surprise in their inbox on 28th Feb!  We started it today, and it goes on till 25th feb.
Isn't this Fabulous? I am very excited about it!

What do you have to do to enter?




Simple--Share a pic with 'Life is What You Make it' and post it  on YOUR social media (blog, facebook, Twitter, Instagram--anything you like and use the hashtag #LifeWithPreeti so we find it. Also set your account to public! Please make it a post (as stories disappear in 24 hours)
We have already started receiving pictures from as far as Kedarkanth. I am absolutely loving it, and it is so moving and wonderful to see all the pictures.


I have a lot of news to share with you, though if you have been following me …

Why I cannot speak for free at your event.

This post is similar to the semi-rant post that I posted a while back--- Why I cannot read the Stuff you send me.  Once again, I am compelled to write this post, after a long e-mail exchanges.

 I am writing this post so that the next time I get a request, I can just send this link and avoid repetitive email exchanges or explanations.

I get invites from MANY colleges and many corporate organisations, throughout the country. The requests are many more than I can handle.

'Ma'am, we are your huge fans..We will display all your books...we will take care of your travel and stay but we don't have a budget for speaker fees.. We must tell you that  X,Y and Z, including Abdul Kalam spoke  at our college and they did not charge any fees .'.  This is the general tone of emails.Many  of the college festivals that invite me  have music concerts and would not hesitate to spend huge amounts for  paying the singers and flying the performers in. And so, what shocks me is that the colleg…