When you are not ready for marriage. An exclusive extract from It's All In The Planets. (post 22)
My post for today----An exclusive extract only for my blog readers from It's All In The Planets.
I sink into my leather recliner chair, fold my legs, take a sip of the whiskey, and dial Tara’s number.
‘Hey there, sunshine. How goes everything?’ Her voice itself has the power to soothe me.
‘Hey, Tara. Not so good.’
‘Why? What happened?’
‘It seems like a repeat of the Vir saga all over again,’ I sigh.
‘Oh no. Why?’
‘Manoj says he is shifting to the US and expects me to join him. He wants us to get married within a month.’
‘And what? I am not ready, Tara. How can you get married when you aren’t ready?’
There is a small pause from her side as she processes the information.
Then she says, ‘Yeah, you can’t. You have to be completely willing. You have to be eager to get married. You have to want it more than anything else you have ever wanted in your life. I know, because that’s what I felt when I was marrying your dad. I was a little older than you then, and never had I been more certain about anything in my life. I was on fire. It was like I had been sleeping all my life, and the relationship with your dad had brought me alive. You have to feel that for a person, Nidhi. Or else things will collapse after a few years. I have seen far too many marriages breaking up. I know what I am talking about.’
‘Yes, I knew you would understand Tara.’
‘So, what are you going to do about it?’
‘I don’t know. I told him I need time.’
‘And what did he say?’
‘He said yes, but I know he is hoping I will change my mind. You know how keen he is to get married. His love for me is true and deep.’
‘I know, my darling Nidhi. But the question that you have to ask yourself is whether you love him the same way.’
I am silent for a few minutes. Tara’s question has thrown me completely off-guard.
I had presumed until now that my love for him was a given, an unquestionable factor. Now I wasn’t so sure. If I loved him so much, why wasn’t my heart singing at the prospect of marriage? Was I commitment-phobic? Or had Vir scarred me too much?
‘Hello, are you there, Nidhi?’ asks Tara.
‘Yes. I was thinking about what you said. You’re right, I need to ask myself that question. I do love him. Or at least I think I do. But this marriage thing scares me.’
‘Then wait. Do not jump into it. If he genuinely loves you, he will wait. Give it time.’
‘What if we grow apart like it happened with Vir?’
‘So what? At least you know you weren’t making a mistake by marrying him. And yes, you must remember that Vir happened at a different time in your life. You were much younger, busy building a career. You don’t have that pressure now. You are certain about what you want to do. You have time for yourself now. And when two people love each other, they will always make time. Let this be the acid test of your relationship. Tell him to move and that you will stay here till you are ready to join him.’
I tell her I will, and after I hang up I rock back and forth in my recliner chair, thinking about it.Talking to Tara always helps put things in perspective.
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