5 powerful steps that help you when you fail

Hello there,

Hope you're doing good and things are going well for you. Sometimes, no matter what we do, things don't go the way we expect them to. Many things are beyond our control and even if we have done our best, sometimes it just isn't enough. It is normal to feel defeated and down when that happens. Our friends and family want us to feel better immediately, and they tell us things like 'Don't feel bad,' or 'It wasn't meant for you.'

While they say those things to comfort us, many a time it has the opposite effect. It makes us feel worse because it  feels like they do not understand how much it meant to us, and it feels like they aren't allowing us to express what we deeply feel. It's happened to me many times. And so I devised a way to help myself. Today I thought I'd share it with you.

 Here are five simple yet powerful things to do when things do not go your way.

1. Mourn
: Allow yourself to feel sadness for whatever it is that you have lost. Accept your feelings. Accept the disappointment that comes along with it. It is okay to feel sad. If you are unable to bear the grief, write down your thoughts. The act of writing down untangles feelings which are jumbled, and you will be suprised at how much the simple act of writing down your feeling helps.

2. Reflect on what you can do: Once you've accepted and taken stock of your sadness, set some time aside and reflect upon what you can do. If you are able to take some actions to solve the problem, then put that into motion. Calmly and logically, think about whether this disruption that has happened is truly ruining your life. Are you reacting from a place of overwhelming emotion or from a place of logic?

3. Focus on things within your control: You cannot control how others behave or act. You can control how you respond to them or to the situation. Focus only on that aspect which is within your control

4. Take baby steps: If the loss that you have faced is devastating,  accept that loss. Once you have accepted it, take small tiny steps  towards your goal every day. Do this consistently.  Before long you would have advanced a great deal towards your goal.

5. Take support/ help: If you are unable to cope, ask for help. Speak up, and seek help. Don't try to carry the whole burden yourself. You will be surprised at how many people are willing yo help you when you ask them.

Many a time we're so overwhelmed when we face difficulties that we forget the above, simple steps. Hope these tips helped.

Will blog about a new topic tomorrow. If you want to share anything in my comment box, I am listening. I am also open to suggestions about what you might want to read about in my blog posts. (Yes, go ahead and ask me anything. But if you are reading this in your inbox, please head over to my blog. I will not be able to reply to mails individually. However I will reply to all comments :) )

See you tomorrow

ps: If you liked these tips, you will love my self-help book The Magic Mindset.You can get it here.

Photo by Amin Moshrefi on Unsplash


  1. These steps are really helpful to navigate from despair, loss, failure or any challenge we could be going through in our life.

    Could you please share your thoughts on " Fear of not fufilling one's purpose or calling in life" ?

    1. Thank you. I want to know this before I write on the topic--how do you know for certain what your life's calling or purpose is?

    2. Everyone has some purpose or calling in their life. Some find and know about it clearly over the period of life and some may be skeptical about it....but they just know that they need to do something that will make them feel fulfilled. Something, some kind of energy or feeling just needs to birth from them which keeps nudging from inside. And the fear of not knowing what it is or how to fulfill it becomes a constant pain or agony.

  2. Namaskaram Preetiji,
    This is an important aspect of achievement,failure and motivation that you have highlighted out here.Very often when people say that "It wasn't meant for you" what our brain hears is that "you did not deserve it".
    Preetiji your action plan is excellent and by training our mind to not fall in the viscious circle of self -pity if we keep on following your path we would emerge unscathed.
    Excellent post.
    Truly you are our inspirational Guru.
    Lots of Love,Respect and Devotion to you 🙏🙏💛

    1. That's so true--we project what we want to hear. Thank you for the kinds words.

  3. Hi Preeti,
    Thank you for sharing. Very insightful.

    1. Thank you for leaving me a comment and letting me know!

  4. 👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏. This happens to many people i am sure. Thanks a million for this because it is simple and short but had lot of positive in it how to move on . Be happy Preeti Didi. ❤️❤️❤️❤️. Just like flowers in your garden each day you blossom like them.

  5. This is amazing. I love the way you genuinely help everyone through your words.

  6. Point number 1 is very important. I feel ki, Samasya ko sweekar nahin karna samasya se bhi badi samasya hoti hai.' I allow myself to feel sad and weep (I just make sure nobody is around).

    Insightful post, very meaningful and helpful points.

    1. Thank you. Yes many a time we try to deny the feelings or drown it.

  7. Thanks for sharing these tips..It really will be a great help for those who couldn't accept the loss. It is always like ' why me ? ' This question is the troublemaker. Unless we accept and realise that such things can happen with anyone we won't be able to overcome the situation.

  8. Hi Preeti. I loved reading this post. Sometimes, whenever I read your books or posts from the Blog Marathon, I feel as if you have spoken to me before and I have told you all these things. I cannot tell you how many times I feel as if I am at rock bottom and no one is there to help me. Sometimes, I feel lonely and lost and seek help to make myself feel better. The tips you mentioned in this Blog Post are very helpful. I will make a mental note of them all so they can help me in the future.

  9. I think you read my mind Madam, Starting points which you have mentioned are exactly what I was thinking during my downside. "While they say those things to comfort us, many a time it has the opposite effect. It makes us feel worse because it feels like they do not understand how much it meant to us, and it feels like they aren't allowing us to express what we deeply feel. It's happened to me many times"

    This is not coincidence, It happened many times when I read your books madam, I have lots gratitude for all of your writings which are my thoughts & feeling.

    Thank you so much for your Marathon blogs. I love them reading. I will take these steps to improve my mental peace with my profession. Thank you so much


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