Forgive--especially when it is hard to!
What does it take to forgive someone who has hurt you over and over? The easiest thing to say would be to cut them out of your life, and move on. But sometimes the one who has hurt you is a family member, an adult child, a spouse, a sibling.
If it's an adult sibling or a parent or an adult child who has hurt you, and if you too are an adult, then putting a physical distance between you might be the best solution. It is the first step towards forgiveness. When we are away, we get a perspective which we don't when we we are IN the situation.
If it's a spouse, then WAIT for a few days. Do not talk about it when you are in an agitated state. It takes a LOT of effort to smile when you are bristling with resentment. Take a break from the issue, not from your spouse. Focus on what they did RIGHT.
I cam across a brilliant post from Brain Pickings, which I share here.
I loved the above.
Forgive. Especially when it is very hard to. You will be doing yourself a favour. A big one.
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This is day 25 of a 30 day blog marathon I am doing.
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True Mam! Very good post.
ReplyDeleteI was always a person who would forgive others in spite of them hurting me. I would ignore the reason why they had hurt me and continue to be their friend. This continued for many years. Then one day, I distanced myself from that person just to get a different perspective. I think that was one of the best decisions I had taken in my life. Slowly, I started adapting to this practice and it has helped me become a better person. I feel much lighter and happier. It was really sad for me to see people hurt me by their words and actions especially when I was never rude to them - Not even for a single day. I realized this is a part of life. No matter what we do, stuff like this will always happen. Another awesome post, Preeti! 🤗
ReplyDeleteForgetting and forgiving] are corner stones of any relationships.. Beautiful writing..
ReplyDeleteI agree. I forgive easily, but I don't forget. It's not like I keep grudges but I don't forget. It's easy to forgive, but forgetting is difficult.
ReplyDeleteThoughtful post.
This is such a brilliant thought Preeti! A marvelous post and a life lesson we ask should learn young! The quality of forgiveness reminds me of a quote, "be the flower that perfumes the hand that crushes it!". So hard yet so essential.... It's not only in the interest of our relationships but also our happiness to quit walking around with all that excess baggage in our heart! Thanks for this lovely write-up!; I'm sharing it!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment! Happy and humbled!!