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Don't say yes when you want to say no. Day 3.



The one thing I have learnt is that people will treat you the way you allow them to. The more you bend and oblige, the more you will be taken advantage of. A lot of people resent this, but they still continue the same pattern of behaviour, getting metaphorically kicked over and over. They aren't assertive enough to state what they want and so they continue tolerating the irritants.

Many of us are afraid to state our opinions, afraid to say a no. We're afraid of confrontations. We're afraid to be disliked.

I grew up in an era where there was no television (let alone the Internet). All our knowledge came from books. A book which I read when I was very young (probably at17 or 18) was Don't say Yes when you want to say No.

I remember I had practised all the exercises in the  book and it  helped me a lot. I don't remember what the book said as it was over a 30 years ago that I read it, but I remember it being useful and helpful. (click on the title of the book for the amazon link)

Now that I am a successful author, I have to say no a lot of times. People are extremely demanding. I don't mean to sound boastful but I have over a 40K followers on Instagram and  get a LOT of unreasonable requests every single day. Mind you, from the point of view of the person who is asking the requests are very reasonable. They think it is just one request which will take me a few minutes (from their point of view) and they don't ever see it from my perspective--that I get hundreds of such requests that it is just not possible to oblige all.

If you want to be kind to yourself, you have to learn to say no. You can't do it all. You don't have to do it all. Just practice saying no, but be kind.  It might be difficult at first, but you will soon see benefits. Read the books for tips!

See you tomorrow :)
Remember to leave me a comment if you liked this post; I love hearing from you.
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Buy my  latest book: Preeti.io/awake





Comments

  1. It may be a life saving skill!

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    1. And so I feel developing a thick skin and No-Muscle helps me in the long run.

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  2. Thanks for starting blogging again. Please make a post on parenting with teenagers or list of books you read.

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    1. All the books I read are on my instagram in highlights books 1 and books 2

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  3. Superb Mam! I completely agree with you. We have to value ourselves and our precious time.

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  4. Yea mam i completely agree withthis. I read a book name the power to say No and it was so amazing and similar to the one you mentioned above.. You are very right. Its very tough to say No but once we practice intentionally it will very helpful for us. Thanks for reminding me through your blog that i need to follow the steps of the book. Lovely post mam

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    1. Will check it out. Haven't heard of it. Thanks for sharing!

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  5. Oh I have learnt this over the years, many times drawing inspiration from your blogs, and am SO MUCH HAPPIER! Thank you!

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  6. Yes, initially I too found it hard to say NO, but now I'm practicing it on long run and it's really helping me in a lot many ways:)
    Thank you for sharing!

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  7. Yes, initially I too found it hard to say NO, but now I'm practicing it on long run and it's really helping me in a lot many ways:)
    Thank you for sharing!

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  8. I guess this is what I needed to hear at the moment! Thank You for the reminder! :)

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  10. At, times humans are afraid to say no but the word holds a deeper meaning and thanks for writing this valuable post Ma'am.

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  11. Thank you mam u are so full of love and guidance for us readers

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  12. Certainly one should say no when it prove not useful to entertain some others at any moment. No is also a tool eliminate unexpected hazard sometimes. One no saves many times and energy which can be utilized to many Small useful things of our day to day life.So I think it is reasonable to say no .when such things appears or evidents in any other forms.

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  13. I loved this post, Preeti! I felt as if you traveled through my mind and penned whatever you found in it! I always feel bad for saying NO - no matter how much I know or do not know the person. There have been times that I have said YES wishing that I had not. But to be in the good books of everyone, I just go with the flow. Will definitely read the book which you have recommended in this Post. Thank you. :-)

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  14. This is a tough one in in Indian Society where you are expected and obliged to keep everyone around you happy (this is applicable more for married women - especially mothers) where you are graded on a daily basis on how happy the kids, spouse and the extended family is. Not sure if it's because I have been living abroad for long or it's a cultivated habit, I don't feel bad at all saying NO. But I do feel bad when people ask the reason for saying NO since I feel is a violation of privacy. Just because I am your friend/extended family doesn't mean that I should have a reason you think is valid for saying NO. Sometimes there is no reason or there are reasons you don't want to share with all. So these days I just say I m not available, instead of I have other commitments and that is the end of it.

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  15. Thankyou for posting such things ma'am

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