Saturday, May 16, 2009
Fights in a relationship (Blog marathon post 12)
Like I mentioned before, one of my closest friends is visiting me from India. Her children and my children are really great friends and have a wonderful time together. They can spends hours and hours endlessly in each other's company and never get bored. When they are apart, they crave for each other. When they are together like they say "Life rocks!". I love the easy camaraderie they share and the grand time and amount of fun they have with each other. The best part is they fight too and they make up just as quickly.
This observation led to an interesting discussion between my friend and me. She said she knew people who never fought. I said that if people never fought it means that they aren't one hundred percent complete in that relationship. I always feel that if a relationship matters to you, then fights will be natural. One cannot have a relationship with absolutely no fights. We express anger because we are comfortable knowing that the other person will not reject you or what you are saying simply because you disagree.
Any relationship--be it spouses, Girlfriends, or couples in love or even good friends, will have its share of times when both don't agree entirely on the same thing. If your relationship is healthy enough it survives and in fact grows stronger because you know that fights can be sorted out.
My friend made a very valid point. She said that what can be disastrous in a relationship is indifference. It means that your relationship (and I am not talking about only marriages) has deteriorated so much that you just do not care. You have switched off and it really does not matter what the other person says or does. That is indeed the sound of death-knell of the relationship.
I am really glad and fortunate that I have friends to whom I can unabashedly say what I feel without worrying about hurting their feelings or without them getting judgemental. I am thankful for them.
It is important to fight in a relationship. Fights are good as they help you resolve conflicts or issues.
But I also feel fights to a relationship is like wind to fire. A little quickens but too much extinguishes it.
Don't you agree?