Five myths about happiness (blog marathon post post 21)
When I was a little girl, I thought about what to pray for. I decided that high on my list were health and happiness, for me as well as my loved ones. That was all I wanted---to be happy.
As an adult, I think that is what most of us want to too--happiness. How do we achieve that? What beliefs do we hold that limit us from being happy?
Here are top 5 myths about happiness.
1. To be happy, everything has to be perfect: Many believe that to be truly happy, every thing has to be perfect. But this rarely happens in real life. When you find the perfect woman of your dreams, she is older, married or already has a boy-friend. When you find the perfect job, the location is not what you desired. Rarely will you find something that is so perfect and has tick-marks in all departments. And even if it does, it is usually transient. If you wait for everything to be perfect, you will never be happy.
2. I will be so happy if : If you depend on external factors that are beyond your control for your happiness, you are going to be forever chasing a chimera. There are so many factors beyond our control and you cannot influence the outcome of anything--merely hope for it. If you lower your expectations about outcome, the chances at happiness becomes higher.
3.Career success make you happy : Career success might make you happy but that would only be temporary. Once you achieve that milestone, you are running for the next one and the next promotion and then the corner office. You slog, you work hard. Someone else gets the promotion. End of happiness. Sometimes you do. What next? The corner office. Then? MD of the company. After that what? When are you going to be truly happy? Get my drift?
4. I will be happy when I find The One: Studies show that Wedded bliss comes with a shelf-life. It is on an average two years. After that the blinkers come off. The initial euphoria vanishes and the happiness quotient is back to where it was. Also, no matter what you do, there will always be The One You Cannot Have.
5. The best part of my years are over: Those in a job might believe that college years were greatest. Those in college might say that school days were the best times. Those married for several years might long for that time, when the relationship was new. if you are going to forever lookback and crave for what has-been, you are never going to be happy.
Happiest people are those that make the best of a situation. They express gratitude for what they have. They live in the here-and-now. They are warm, cheerful and have a great sense of humour, enabling them to laugh at themselves. They know that happiness comes from inside oneself.
It is a state of being, an art.
And it is something we owe ourselves. We all deserve to be happy!
Read a part of my latest book, The One You Cannot Have