Thursday, June 23, 2016

Parents---back off! (blog marathon post23)



Today I watched half of an interesting movie on Netflix. It was called One Day, 
and it starred  Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess. I used to live in the UK, and the British accents, places where it was shot, were all familiar to me. I felt a tug at my heartstrings, as I remembered my wonderful time there.

In the movie, the parents of Dexter (Jim Sturgess) disapprove of the career choice their son has made. He is a succesful TV presenter, but the show he presents is 'crass' and 'tasteless' according to his parents who feel that he could have done better. He however enjoys his work, and he is having fun.

It made me think about parenting. Many parents in India too, disapprove of their children's career choices. The adult/teen child might want to be a graphic designer, but the parents might want him/her to take a corporate job.Or the adult/teen child might want to become a musician or a fitness instructor or a yoga teacher.But the parents may not think it is good enough.

I know many people who never thought they would end up in their present day career, as their ambition was something totally different. But their parents thought that was too lowly for them.

I think parents should back off from the decisions an adult child makes. (of course as long as they are not decisions which harm them, like driving drunk and doing drugs)
Allow them to make mistakes. Do not deprive them of that. If you do not let them make mistakes, and learn from them, you are depriving them of a chance to grow.

Think about it, and leave me your thoughts. Do you know any instances like what I mention? (too much parental influence). If you care to share, I am listening.
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6 comments:

  1. You have touched the right chord through this piece of writing. Children who are sometimes already under stress due to stiff competition in various fields should have independence to make rightful career decisions.

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  2. In this matter I am really very lucky, as my parents left my career decision on me, but they always guided me. Thanks to my parents and to Preeti Mam, as today I got a chance to thank my parents.

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  3. True, the parents wantto achieve what they couldn't once yearned for,through their children.

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  4. I once saw a random video, where a crow was forcing its son to swim, as the crow itself couldnt swim in his life but always yearned to. The crow wishes to live his dreams through its child. The most common parenting phenomenon, famously known as 'parents affection' or 'right over children' in India. Good or bad, tough to decide!
    I agree with Preeti ji. Why not let our adult children live an adult life? Parents should be there for unconditional support, guidance. Let them take their own decisions, rather than owning their lives.

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  5. Parents have always been the guiding light to their kids. Kids look up to their parents when they need advice. However, in some aspects, I feel that the kids should take the responsibility and the parents should stand in the back. If a child wants to study Hotel Management, but the parents want him/her to do MBBS, it does not make any sense in forcing the child to join Med School, does it? Because it will not only be a waste of time, but money as well. The first and foremost thing that a parent should keep in mind is that their child wants to do something which they LIKE and not something which the society expects them to LIKE. Parents should also not force their children to get married if they are not ready. There is a time for everything and marriage happens to be one of those aspects which will happen when it has to happen and not because it should happen at that moment. When a child makes a decision and fails, they will realize that what they did was wrong and they will move on so that the mistake does not happen again. I feel the best thing is for parents to be a little bit more relaxed and to give their children more freedom to do what they want and feel is right.

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  6. I know someone who wanted to be a chef but had to MBA and is now playing the role of US wife, keeping house, because the parents thought being a chef was too lowly a profession.

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