Sunday, June 05, 2016

How to tell if someone is too old or young for you? (Blog marathon post 5)




 Today's post is an extract from my book Why We Love the Way We do, which is a non-fiction book on relationships. It was among the top 5 highest selling non-fiction titles of 2015.
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When the question of who is too old for you and who is too young for you to date is asked, invariably the half-your-age plus seven rule comes up as an answer whether you are a man or a woman. So if you are a 42 year old woman, you can date any guy who is 28 or older. If you are a man who is 30, you can date a woman who is 22 or older.

Who made this rule up? The origin of this rule is hard to pin down, but it finds mention in the 1953 film The Moon is Blue, where Maggie McNamara twenty-two, asks her suitor who is thirty, ‘Haven’t you heard that the girl is supposed to be half the man’s age plus seven?’ This rule also finds mention in the popular television series, How I Met Your Mother.

The exact opposite  this rule defines the upper age limit to determine the ‘oldest person you can date’.  Here you double your age and then subtract seven find out the oldest someone you date should be, ideally. Thus according to the rule,  if you are a 32 year old woman you cannot date a man who is older than 57.

I find that these ‘rules’ really cannot be applied to any relationship to determine the age limit.  For  rules to be applicable they  have to be consistent. But these rules are not consistent as the pair grows older. To elucidate, let us take the case of a person who is currently twenty-six. As per the rule, he cannot date someone who is nineteen. But when the person turns twenty-eight, then the pair qualifies to date  as the other person is now twenty-one. Thus, if this rule is followed strictly, a person can ‘qualify socially’ to date another who is older within just a year or two, if their ages currently fall within an ‘unaccepted’ range. How can your personality or other parameters necessary for a good relationship actually change that much within such a short span?



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6 comments:

  1. Concept is Very Clear what u mentioned as man can date to a woman who's age is 5-10 years more than him and woman too. some reality shows has the episodes according to this case. But dating between the ages where is gap of 15-20 is not possible. Hence, perspective.

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  2. The word cannot here should be replaced by it is best not to I guess

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  3. The word cannot here should be replaced by it is best not to I guess

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  4. Relationships are based on so many factors. When it comes to age, it is difficult to understand. Sometimes, if there is a huge age gap between the man and woman, they say there is a lot of maturity and if the gap is less, then there isn't. But that does not apply to everyone does it? I feel that no matter what age the man and woman are, a relationship will work only if there is understanding, love, financial and physical support, etc. We see so many celebrities all over the world dating people who are half or twice their age. Some people may find this absurd, but since there is compatibility between the two, the relationship will work out.

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  5. I don't think people really care about the age factor while falling in love... Love is smthing dat happens in a span which is less than a second. The whole theory about the age isn't wat we should be luking for, instead.concentrate on the perceptions, thoughts and dreams of your partner to be able to build a strong and loving relationship.

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  6. I bit disagree on this. Relationships, I have seen, does not much depend on the age. Its how the chemistry between the people work and how well they gel up together. Again if that chemistry between people is dependant on the age, need to analyse..!!! :)

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