Don't worry. It's okay to say no!


People keep taking from those who keep giving. This is a fact.

Whether it is that colleague who does all the extra work which everyone asks of them, or whether it is that adult child who does everything for their parents (while the other children do absolutely nothing) or whether it is one of the parents who does everything when it comes to taking care of the kids/home, the load is never 'equally shared'.

Often it is because, the person who does the extra work is extremely compassionate and caring. They also probably feel guilty to say no, and to stand up for themselves. Sometimes it is the circumstances  beyond their control which place them in that position.

Whatever it may be, if you are caught in this place, it is important to take care of yourself. It is important to do things that bring you joy. If you don't do it, you're headed towards a burnout.

There's a saying in Malayalam 'Karayunna kuttike paaalu ollu'.  Trnaslated into English, it means that only the baby that cries gets the milk.  No one thinks that it is 'selfish' to 'cry for the milk'.

The reason I used that analogy/proverb/metaphor is to remind people who keep giving, to pause and take stock. It's okay to refuse. It's okay to put your needs first. In fact, it is very important to.

Only then can you continue to care for others, without resentment and with joy.

New post tomorrow!
Till then, give yourself some love!


ps: This is post 28 of blog marathon.

Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash


  1. The word Burnout I totally resonate with it. It has affected me a lot in past few years, saying No is also very difficult to me. I am trying my best to improve that part.

  2. Namaskaram Preetiji πŸ™πŸ™

    Wow i feel it is my life story more than a blog post.You have the special ability to speak about what is in everyone's heart and you can speak directly to everybody"s heart.

    You are absolutely right on all counts and each pearl of wisdom that you have dropped is amazingly precious and can become invaluable if rightly applied in one's life.

    Your post some time back about saying "No" as essential had made me learn a few things and now your wisdom on burnout will help me more.

    Thank you for being awesome
    Lots of Love,Respect & complete Devotion to you
    😣😣😣The blogathon is almost over.
    But it's ok
    Will eagerly wait for another one.

    1. So glad you could connect!
      Will try to do another blogathon towards the end of the year. Right now, I am working on my next book which will be out in May/June. Hence truly struggling to write a post every day!

  3. Such a thoughtful post, so relatable. It's difficult, yes, but I am learning.

    1. It *is* difficult because guilt consumes us. Still it is an important thing to learn.

  4. True that!!πŸ™‚πŸ‘

  5. It took me a long while to understand this quote as a child. I never said no to anyone in anyway. If someone wanted to tell me I'm wrong in someway or the other. I used to listen to it thinking I am wrong in the first place. After many mistakes and realisations it dawned upon me that, I might be wrong sometimes but I am not wrong everytime. It is just that sometimes when you listen too much of what people say, you become a pushover or forget how to value your own opinions. Hell, I never figured out what MY OPINIONS were until I stopped listening to what they said. And, as a 19 year old I read, The Rule breakers for the first time l, ever since then, I have never stopped reading your books. Big Fan of yours Ma'am.

  6. Hi Preeti. This is something I have been trying to do for several years now. I guess I always feel guilty and end up giving in even if I don't want to. I agree with the Malayalam saying you had mentioned in this post. When you write about stuff like this, I feel like you have spoken to me and wrote everything I told you - word for word! Thanks for making me see things from a different point of view. Take care.


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