5 things to do to make your relationships better
Yesterday I told you that I would write about things that you can do, so that you feel a little less disappointed in your relationships. It is easy to say 'Have no expectations and then you won't be disappointed'. But how is that possible? Of course, it is only human to expect. I do expect those I love to be supportive of me, understand me and be there for me. I would do the same for them. That is natural. You have to be Buddha or Mother Teresa to not expect anything at all, out of a relationship and to exhibit supreme patience.
What can you do if the other person is not responding to you? What can you so if things are not going the way you want them to? How do you rid yourself of the burden of expectations.
Here are 5 things that will help you to make your relationships better.
1. Stop making excuses for the other person: If the other person wants to call, they will make time and call anyway. Nobody--not even a top notch movie-star is that busy. It is a matter of priorities.If you are important to that person, then they will make time. Do not make excuses for them, saying that perhaps they are too busy. How much time does a text message take anyway? 15 seconds? How much time does an email take? 5 minutes?
2. Be willing to let go: We cling on to the relationships we have because we are so afraid to let go. We hold on so tight, as we cannot imagine our life without that person being a part of it. But sometimes, when we move away, we are giving space to ourselves to grow. Maybe you will discover new people. Maybe you will break out of a pattern you have set, and discover new skill sets. Maybe when you let go, the other person will realize what you mean to them, and will make an extra effort.
3.Be open to a little introspection : Be willing to look inside yourself. Why do you want the person to do things your way? perhaps you are a person who expresses love by wishing your friends on their birthday, getting them gifts, calling them up and going to see them. But maybe that person doesn't express their love that way. Maybe their way of expressing love is coming over with hot soup when you are unwell. Or listening to you moan and groan when something bad happens. Just because that person doesn't do things exactly the way you would do, it doesn't mean they don't love you. You are the one who has to take a call and decipher the meaning behind their actions---and then look inside to see if that is in alignment with what YOU want out of the relationship.
4.Communicate : Sometime back I came across this visual, which i had set as my Display Picture on my BBM, for a while. I think the visual says it all. Open and honest communication is so important in a relationship.
However, after having said the above, you should also know when to take a hint and back off. If you have called 6 times or more to make plans and the person keeps finding excuses, then you clearly know where you stand in their list of priorities. Accept it and back off!
5. Change : You have to accept that change is an integral part of every relationship. People change. Things change. Situations change. You do grow apart. Unless you are willing to embrace change and go with the flow, and change so that you are still able to find a common ground with the person, you are likely to drift apart. If you do slowly start drifting apart, take the above mentioned steps and see if it works out. If it doesn't that is just how it was meant to be.
It will definitely cause pain when you let go. It isn't so easy. But if it has to be done, you have to steel yourself and do it. I see no other way.The pain shall pass. And you will grow because of it.
New post tomorrow.
Bye for now!
ps: My new novel 'It happens for a reason' is a story that deals with complications that come with relationships. The book will be out on Dec 10th!
Pre-order it at a great price:
Yes.. Its the cruel truth of life.. Accepting nd moving on. We have to b strong and true to ourselves...ReplyDelete
Thank You mam.But understanding a girl is really a very tough thing I believe.If the personality of a girl is INTJ,it is even too tough.Stepping away from her is tough and being in a question mark relationship is also tough.Please suggest me,mam.ReplyDelete
Ravi--please read my article in Financial Chronicle: http://epaper.mydigitalfc.com/articledetailpage.aspx?id=1289922Delete
True.....each n every point stands true....! Just want to say you are absolutely right when u said that no matter how busy one is but if he or she really wants to communicate....one will. Priorities do change with time but remember only priorities change....love never change...it just blossoms with time!!!!ReplyDelete
Respect love....appreciate love....because only fortunate one gets love :)
LIfe lived for others is life.....same line for she and same for he....Delete
I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together.ReplyDelete
completely agree on this one.....Delete
Another great article Preeti. These five steps are very true and I hope many people can implement it in their life. Thanks for another wonderful article.ReplyDelete
Truely said mam.. it really gets difficult smtines to accept the truth and move on. But after reading this i m sure it will defenitely help some people lyk me who believe or trust other person truelyReplyDelete
Thank you so much for putting it so clear and precise.. You are truly a great mentor, counsellor and a coach who knows the L.I.F.E very well. I am so fond of your writing and the thought process that you share with the readers. Take care
Nice post ma'amReplyDelete
Loved the post Preeti. It is a medicine to most of us in exactly the required proportion at times when we are contemplating on a relationship- be it friendship or any other bond that we are getting into :)ReplyDelete
Very well said and truth of life i have followed your ideas from your book the one you can not have i believe me my thoughts about person whom i can not have been changed and i became creative like you thanks a lot for writing all this stuffReplyDelete
M trying hard but I can't able to :-( :'(ReplyDelete
Accepting and moving with the flow...Damn ..it is such a difficult task..ReplyDelete
Preeti....loved your deep insight.....keep up...ReplyDelete
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True! Loved the image which you shared.... :)ReplyDelete
I want to address u as an angel ... mam all ur posts in d blog seems like an angel giving suggestions n advising u ... I have really been a gr8 fan of al ur write ups ... It has given me an emotional help to accept thngs....do keep posting mam ... Hats off to ur thoughts n ideas ... Eagerly waiting for ur upcoming novel ...😍😍ReplyDelete
True and very well written Preeti. I was just thinking what more can I add and what is it that you might have overlooked. But there are sometimes, when few words embody a lot many more words. This is one of those blogs and the 5 highlighted words are one of those wordsReplyDelete
i read your posts regularly but never get courage to comment on it !! I dont know the reason. You do inspired me in many ways, But your this post really made me comment on it as I cant resist myself from commenting. Sometimes right things come in front of you when the time is right. I guess today is my right time to get this very right post in front of me..!!ReplyDelete
Thanks alot ma'm for inspiring me though i do not comment ;)
A big thanks for this post :) :)