Thursday, November 20, 2014

How to get over someone who does not love you back. Ten things you can do #askpreeti


A week has flown past so fast. It's Thursday once more and it is #AskPreeti !



Every Thursday, I shall blog my answer to a question, which you have asked. You can ask me questions with #askpreeti tag either on my FB page or tweet to me using #askpreeti 

Today I picked the question asked by reader Indira Saha. Indira asks what we can do when we love someone, but he doesn't love you back. You love them and do not want to let go. But they do not reciprocate your feelings. What do you do then?

You have to decide firmly to let them go.The more you hold on to them, the worse it is going to be for you. Letting go of someone you love is  hard. Very hard.
 Here are ten things you should do.

1. Accept the pain: Accept that it is going to hurt and it is going to hurt a lot. The pain is going to be searing. It is going to creep up on you constantly. It is going to make your heart heavy. It is going to  make you feel completely down and out. Accept it and do not fight it. Let it wash over you. Let it do it's worst. Remember it's power  to hurt you reduces every single day that goes by.

2. Be 1 percent better than yesterday: Be just one percent better than how you felt  yesterday.Go out for a walk in the park. Yes, it will still hurt but start building a teeny weeny mental shield. Say to yourself that you owe it to yourself to feel better.

3. Steel yourself:  Now that you have moped around a bit, time to get into commando mode. Steel yourself completely. Buck up. You are worth much more than someone not reciprocating your love. Your love is too precious to squander on the person who does not appreciate it.

4. Do one thing for yourself that makes you happy: Find one single thing that makes you happy and then do it. It might be a small thing like taking a photo on your mobile phone. Or it could be taking up a new hobby like gardening. Do that one thing for yourself. 
Picture of a flower I clicked in my mother's garden.


5. Yoga--Vinyasa breathing: Yoga is a wonder drug. It gives you inner peace, calmness, strength of mind. It teaches you to relax, let go and be still. Continuos practice has numerous health benefits too. Try it once. Click here for an excellent ten minute yoga class.
I have tried it (and I practise Ashtanga yoga daily) and highly recommend it.


6.Meet new people : Time to expand your world. Start meeting new people. Start taking a genuine interest in other people who you get along with. Extend a hand of friendship. Do something nice for them. Go out for a cup of coffee. You might discover a great new friend.

7.Read: Books are therapy. Read, read and read ! You meet many characters who have gone through rejections, just the way you are now. You learn so much from good books. Reading is always a good thing. A good book draws you inside and makes you forget the world.

8.  Refuse to think of that person--Journal and forget method: Maintian a journal which noone can see but you. If their thoughts are hard to get rid off, allow yourself to rant all that you want in your journal. Write about what is hurting you, causing you pain. Whine, cry, moan all you want. Then refuse to think of them. Their quota of time in your brain is over for the day.

9.Express Gratitude for all that you have: One of the most beautiful things that you can do for yourself is to express gratitude for all that you have. The very fact that you are reading this on a laptop, proves that you  are among the privileged ones. Count all your blessings, the things that are going right in your life and be very thankful for them

10. GROW: Remember the following words:



Follow the above ten tips and you will soon be on your way to forgetting that person who does not love you back.
You deserve more. Because you are special, you know.  Loads of love!
__________________________________________________

If you like my post you will definitely love my books. They are all about love, relationships and overcoming obstacles that life throws at you.


My new book releases on December 10th.
Grab it at a great price:

11 comments:

  1. A good book draws you inside and makes you forget the world .this line is so interactive and i must say that your all books have this power and i loved it :)thanks a lot for sharing this grate steps :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Isn't there anyway to convince him that things will be okay if he is around? He wants to stop everything, even the friendship because he thinks it will hurt me more to let go later on. But I don't want to let go right now. I had prepared my mind that it's going to happen but later. If it happens now I'll be in pain. How do I stop him? I just want things to happen on its own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it happens now or later you will be in pain.There is no one in this world who will ever be ready to loose a person whom she/he loves. If later, why not today! If you will be friends even after breakup it will be really hard for you to move on. You'll have hope one day he might realise your love and come back. So its better to let him go than keeping false hopes.

      Delete
    2. Indira,
      Preeti has said everything by putting it in a small sentence.." Say to yourself that you owe it to yourself to feel better."
      When we fall in love, we tend to make the other person responsible for everything that we go through and we withdraw ourselves from our responsibility to our own selves. All you need is to start taking the responsibility for your happiness now in this hardest times that you are passing through. Forgetting our own self and getting lost in someone's love seems to be selfless love..but it is not if u refrain from your duties towards your own self. You will realize the truest love the day you learn to let go..
      Let him go. Let him help you. He's trying to help you out by moving on. respect his efforts. He is sensible enough not to see u getting hurt even more. Respect his affection and care for you.
      Life has lot of love to offer you..you will be surprised to see how life shall again fill you with all the love that u desire.
      This relationship is offering you some hard truths.. learn to let go.. learn to move on..move on in a better direction.. move on towards a better person.. a better life !!!

      Delete
  3. And thank you so much :)
    I hope this helps.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Last two points are superb and do wonders.. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. V nice complied..love the quote, and books are truly a bundle of joy..especially your books can read them again & again..still have that fresh feeling..

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nice! I must say these steps really work wonders! I've tried them all and its been more than a year now, I've moved on. Its not easy but yes time is the best healer and do value yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Agree to the points, Preeti. It really helps and I feel one should go with the flow. Let it carry you to the destination:)

    ReplyDelete
  8. The key to happiness with us. If someone doesn't care us,as you said, we try to be away.Useful post.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hey,
    Great information I got here. I've been reading about this topic. I found it here in your blog. I had a great time reading this.
    Regards
    Vashikaran Aghori Baba

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your leaving a comment! Okay--I appreciate your leaving a comment if you have something nice to say ;-)