Some people have all the luck

'But it is so easy for you. You are so talented and good at everything. Not all of us are as talented as you. So unfair,' she said.


We were having a conversation about loving what you do and doing what you love and whether it is indeed possible to follow your passion and make a  decent living out of it.

I wanted to tell her that most people saw only the sheen, not the grit, nor the passing through the cogs a million times, bearing the pain as you discovered you were much stronger than you thought and that you did not crumble after all.

I wanted to tell her about the thousands and thousands of pages I have written before I was considered worthy of publication. I wanted to tell her about the  back-breaking hours of  meticulous research I have done, sometimes to write just a single para, so that the facts I am stating are accurate.

I wanted to tell her about how I travelled in so many Indian cities, in the unrelenting heat, going to far flung colleges that offered art courses, looking for someone who would teach me portraiture specifically, but how I returned back each time disappointed.

I wanted to tell her  in the UK, when I finally found the portraiture course that I wanted to do, how I walked through four inches of snow, in freezing sub-zero temperatures for 35 minutes to reach my class and how I was the only student in the course who had the rare distinction of not missing a single class.

I wanted to tell her about the time I cried and cried when I lost my dad, and the people I considered 'friends' turned away and how strangers who I met online turned out to be my biggest support systems (and later good friends).
 I wanted to tell her that the best way I discovered to overcome my grief was to immerse myself in work and more work.

I wanted to tell her about all the opportunities I had grabbed even the seemingly useless ones, because I was so afraid that if I did not, the void that was inside me would engulf me.

I wanted to tell her that I wrote  and I painted as I had finally found my calling.
I wanted to finally tell her that  'I really think it is not about talent, it is about hard work. But most people do not seem to see that.'

But I do not think she wanted to hear.

So  I smiled and said  "Yeah, you're right you know. Some people have all the luck. It is so unfair."
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