Why men stray
Really sorry--I have had to remove this post as it will soon appear in a book. Making it available online would have been very unfair to my publisher who has placed so much trust in me. I hope you enjoy the other posts as much as you enjoyed this one. A heartfelt thanks for your support and understanding.Thanks for continuing to read what I write.
I too didn't know that this effect got a name. And the story was so cool.
ReplyDeleteAnd about the last statement, as per the stories (rather real stories), I should agree with you.
Cool story.
ReplyDeleteLet me take a gander at why no women is caught with pants down or skirt up ;)
Like you described man can move on if THAT woman on high post tells him no more - he will simple find another partner and she will stabilize herself _ coolidge effect
now in the other case - when the MAN says no to the women - she is distraught - and has emotional trauma - she fights back to get that one guy...
just my 2 cents
i blogrolled you
never knew this effect has a name.. yeah, itz kidn fo true - women need a reason and men just need a place :)
ReplyDeletemay be we are not so smart and tahzt why we are getting caught...
I couldn't possibly comment! As for the photo - what a shame,I loved that car!!
ReplyDeleteTotallllllyyy agree... Women are not just smarter but also have loads of patience...
ReplyDeleteso men stray for variety? lol.. nice excuse.. maybe many others stray because they're just desperate when their partners are away? What name does that have?
ReplyDeletefirst the link and now this post... looks like the top-of-mind topic of the day for you huh?
ReplyDeletewhy is that? something triggered this off?
but there's a lot of research supporting this theory... and now genetic research as well.
but i suspect all the people who produce this research are men :P
you should check that out!
Too good! :D
ReplyDeleteAhemm...any confessions coming up here? Men?
This post remind me of an episode from Frasier.
ReplyDeleteDaphne: Oh, come on now, Dr Crane. It's not like men have never used sex to get what they want.
Frasier: How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex is what we want!
And Woman being smarter..Live with that dream!! ;-P
On a serious note..we have equally dumb men and stupid woman in the world...It is not smart to say one sex is smarter after all!!
Mathew: MAYBE--maybe! :-) :-)
ReplyDeleteNM: Doubt if any confesiions will come up :-)
Shruti:Maybe they are desperate because they are wired that way? BTW, this is researched in labs and proven--not just random stuff.It is true of all mammals.
Ritu:Some men too have all the patience!Niall never fails to amaze me!!(am sure you have seen his work)
Keith:True! It was a nice car. :-)
xh: Don't know!
Ceedy:Thanks for blogrolling--you're right about women wanting to get back.I dont know about the coolidge effect though--it refers specifically to males.
Emmanuel: At least you agree! Thanks!
Contrary to what some people want to believe, men and women are different.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, we are also thinking humans who are capable of making choices.
Nessa: yes--you are very right.
ReplyDeleteGuru:Came acorss the link while researching for this piece--I thought that was obvious!!Nothing triggerd it off--I had been wanting to write this for long--and finally got down to ti today.Doesnt matter whether men or women research it--the point is it has scientifically been proven true for all mammals.
Men!!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah.. but ur rite bout the social conditioning and disguise! Men are this way for a reason I think.So by making them commit to one relationship, we are actually forcing smthg tatz against nature's law! Jeez! Whatever happened to the feminist in me???Lol!
i don't know... it just hit me... i guess i didn't see the connection :)
ReplyDeleteits well researched and equally well written. but i think its easy to write about it and say its been proven... but its not easy i'm sure when its actually happening to someone, don't you think?
'my hubby/boyfriend can't treat me like any other mammal? how can he do this to me?'
and maybe he doesn't stray because he doesn't want to do this to her?
Oh no!! You just gave the men another reason to justify why they cheat. Blame it on the Coolidge Effect!
ReplyDeletehaha...that story n name for this effect n all was tooo funny. But hell ya..its true!
ReplyDeleten yeah...women are smarter then men in covering up!
I, for one, suffer from the coolidge effect quite regulary, but then it easy to become distracted when you are trying to spend 8 hours a day focusing on the infinite.
ReplyDeleteDo you not perhaps think that the real culprit is more that women aren't doing enough to keep their men interested?
I suppose we have to balance our gained 'morals' and rules against our animalistic instinct to procreate...our societal 'norms' and expectations. I think in essence, the male human is not monogamus..how this is adressed or accomodated is the subject of many debates.
ReplyDeletehaven't there been cases of famous women being caught in affairs?
ReplyDeletebut anyone cheating on their partner is just a plain cheat...whether they are programmed genetically or not...
just my view...that link almost got me writing a post 2day..till i came here and saw this
well written, u really grabbed the bull by the horns ..:)
I agree as I don't have any story which I can hold to argue against. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment at my blog and thanks for dropping by! I didn't expect. :)
yea yea yea.. whatever.
ReplyDeleteMen are awesome.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeletegosh preethi, dont put up my previous comment. I just went thru all the above comments & not a single one had the dirty word SEX in it :-o. i sort of got carried away. i mean it was so funny:-D. hooohooo I cant stop laughing.
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic, why men/women stray. Because of our family setup, social values, upbringing, and mental conditioning, straying is slightly less in India when compared to Western Society. It is true that one needs variety, but once you start searching for variety it is endless. Physically one will get drained but mentally always alert and will be looking for variety. Psychologists say a person even after reaching the age of 80 dreams about sex, that part in him is not fully satisfied, unless it is fully satisified he cannot transcend and go beyond sex. our ancestors have taught us many methods to keep ourselves in control by way of meditation, yoga, bhakti and value education. All said and done, we do get tempted often with the opposite sex, in some cases with the same sex also. Let us accept it with utmost sincerity.
ReplyDeleteAre we ready to transcend from SEX TO SUPERCONSCIOUSNESS. that is the key for this issue.
ahaa.. another scientific reason for men to explain y they chaet..heheh well good to know that this has a name...ya females r smarter in that aspect
ReplyDeleteIts reached a stage where the Coolidge effect is becoming unisex :). I agree with your last statement - women are indeed smarter in more ways than one.
ReplyDeleteAnd also that whatever the reason, a committed human being should just not cheat ... especially emotionally.
Nice post.
I guess women tend to be lesser aggressive in expressing their feelings – whether it be libidinal, or be it plain anger, or even if it be reacting to any relevant social issue. They tend to suppress all their feelings while men usually don’t. Women are more family-oriented and they have more patience and tolerance.
ReplyDeleteTalking about women in higher positions, how many women Presidents or CEOs have we come across? Only few. So we can’t actually conclude that women in higher positions don’t indulge in any mischief. Don’t take me wrong here; I have only the highest regard for women.
And I don’t think one sex is smarter than the other. There are areas where women outrun men, and vice versa. But when you keep it specifically to the foremost point in your post, as you said, women are smarter :)
Hi Peetri .Just visiting to see how you are.Loved the story with the chicken. Didn't know they had a scientific name for it. Research probably done by a man as well.
ReplyDeleteHave a nice day
I had never heard of this effect. The kind of surveys they conduct.
ReplyDeleteWomen are smarter and they are too ingrained with the 'what will the society think, if they come to know' so are better at beign discreet.
But I wonder if its only the variety that spices it up? Sometimes it could also be reasons other than that.
Good one. But from personal experience I should say let the men do who they want to do and let the women choose their partners too. No one can keep doing it forever. Not even rats in fervour... Cheers awesomeful post.
ReplyDeleteGood one. But from personal experience I should say let the men do who they want to do and let the women choose their partners too. No one can keep doing it forever. Not even rats in fervour... Cheers awesomeful post.
ReplyDeletequite true..!!.[truth is some times bitter]!!...one of the reasons for this is our anatomy also!!!!:)
ReplyDeleteHappy vishu
ReplyDeleteThat coolidge incident was hilarious :-)
ReplyDeletefunny...i ws gonna do a post on this sometime soon....on infidelity to be exact...it is sooo prevalent rite now...im pretty appalled at the num of men who r multi-womening these days...
ReplyDelete*shudders at the future*
may be i shud stay quiet on this one!!! :P
ReplyDeletehehe! thats a very nice theory.. so its proven and all!
ReplyDeletewell i hav to agree with the last bit.. women are smarter!
"women need a reason and men just need a place", it really shows who thinks more, haha.
ReplyDeletenice post! ;0)
Lol..Cool write up!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it should have been...with Pants down, and Skirts up!
:)
BTW, i shifted to a new domain...took Vineet's advice....Come see me at www.ktens.com :)
hey Priti.....I simply loved dis blog of urs...could nt help laughing!!!!
ReplyDeleteWell Am not sure if the women-are-indeed-smarter thing really stands, but i do believe in the first theory (yeah yeah we know its more practical than theory) of Coolidge effect. It's something that been always there and well, stay. The western culture has had it for eons and we are not anyfar behind. Just that, does it matter so much that the rest of the things take a backseat? I guess no.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Am not a supporter of multiple partners, am just trying to justify the theory!
So I had this question since yday.. does this mean that women dont get bored of being with the same person daily?
ReplyDeleteI mean isn't it natural.. say no matter how much u love a movie..u cant watch the same movie more than say thrice! or u cant keep eating the same sweet everyday!
Its different when you are doing so many other things together that keep you both engaged...then u dont really get bored maybe?
and now i do realise why nature has gifted women with the ability to be so versatile..i mean a girl can look different every single day..a different haircut, a diff hairstyle, lenses, ..just look at the variety of dresses a girl can wear..skirts, gowns, jeans, trousers, tees, shirts,sarees..what not..
and what's the variety in what we men can be? or even wear? :-)
so in a way, even though a man is with the same woman everyday, woman do have the gift of being different everyday :-)
Not that I believe that any girl shud live her life for her man...but..she can in some ways..if that's what love is abt in someways..as in wearing that special dress for him! :-)
So if men are prone to stray or be bored, women do have the gift to keep them glued..whether they use it or not is upto them..
but yes someone who truly loves doesnt care what u look like externally..but it does make life that much more interesting.. :-)
i dont think monogamous is natural in mammals, after all the nature intended that species to procreate as much as possible to pass its genes along...and in most cases it was the biggest and the strongest who got the ladies, while the other licks his wounds and go off for a pint to drown his sorrows...
ReplyDeletei think u and ur husband concluded it pretty accurately...i guess we dont act on it mainly becoz theres sharp things in the kitchen and u still want to pee standing.
PS
ReplyDeleteWomen, are cooler headed about it than men. We aren't programmed quite the same with regards to sex.
I think we seek chemistry, compatablity, and intellect. For example, most women would lose interest fast in a dull but good looking man. On the contrary, it seems that the better looking and more dull the female is to the male...the more he seems indifferent and almost more attracted to her. You see, men are only after one thing. And we all know it isn't the cooking skills.
Any man who says he isn't after that one thing is trying to impress the intelligent but good looking females.
LOL!
may be no one did a study on the female rat..sexism there as well?..
ReplyDeletewell may be statistically the theory is proven, but I do not see any particular reason as to why this must be true..but one thing that caught my eye in the whole post, was that you discuss this with your partner.. I always wondered about the kind of discussion that happens about this topic with partners/husbands/wives..as usual you amaze me with the straightforwardness in your post.
Rambler: i guess it just depends on what kind of connection one has with their spouse.
ReplyDeleteGillian: You are SO RIGHT!!(as usual!)
Tys: Also maybe some are just plain loyal.
Aroj: See madhumita's comment.It answers your question perfectly!!
Smoking Joe: Exceptions always prove the rule! I do agree though that not everyone can be slotted thus.
Tabitha:heh heh.
K10:will do!Thanks for dropping by!
Reign: :-)
ReplyDeleteBlack coffee:Of course! we just let the men think that they are!
Sam:Why?!!
Preeti:See madhumita's comment!
Aroj:yep--even i laughed when i first read it.
Deepak:Thanks budd--same to you!
Brocasarea:Maybe men are just wired that way.
ReplyDeletePsedonym:Yes I agree with that--Not all men are unfaithful.Thanks for the compliments.
Prats:It was a study--researched, proved etc.Of course there are other reasons too--but not for rats!! ;-)
Marja:Thanks for visiting--hope U are doing good too.
Balu: but still those ones in power never did anything like this--right? It was interesting to know your perspective.And of course whatever you say wont ever be taken wrongly--don't worry!
Madhumita: I Simple LOVED your comment!! Wanted to put it in the main body as a psot script, linking to you--but didnt get down to doing it.
Fruitu:That is truly taking it to the next level.
ReplyDeleteCupid's best pal: Of course! Whatever you say! :-) Heh heh--does that ring a bell? ;-)
Emmanuel:surprised that you are surprised :-)
Suma:Cannot think of any--then again affair is different from the exploits mentioned.Women get more emotionally involved.For men, its more physical.
Niall:you mare very right my friend.
Freelance: What do you expect the poor female rats to do? To wear stilletoes and carry a leather whip? ;-)
Pavi:yes--they have to cover up so many things!!
Solitaire:Cheating is not justified at all--it is just that they get aroused.But whether they decide to act on it or not is entirely upto them.
Guru:If he truly loves her I don't think he will ever stray.
Pointblank:well--he can control his impulses, can't he?
coz, its kinda unknown territory for me..
ReplyDeletesecondly, i've seen ladies gng for th act a lot more... though they do so ever so discretely... u really have to be on their wavelength to catch it!!
guys tend to be more open abt it... bragging it seems is terrible sin males can never get rid off....
on a personal note... i'm yet to experience anything like this!!
i wish i was a rooster
ReplyDeleteNot sure whether my prev coment came through..so here it is again...arun338@mail.com
ReplyDeleteits gmail
ReplyDeletewomen are smarter for example even in clinton -lewinky's case
ReplyDeleteshe was smarter than him by exposing him,she stood to gaain