Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentines day post

VD
Valentines Day or
Veneral Disease (if you are a cynic) or
Very Difficult (if you are single) or
Victoria & David (Beckhams--if you are a football fan,alternately a Posh spice fan)

It all depends on how you look at it. And that changes with age—because as you grow older you become wiser. At least you can pretend to be—and nobody questions as you have been around longer—you know what I mean!

When I was in college, there was this guy called Rueben who was a ‘cool dude’. I was a bit flattered when he gave me a red rose and a valentines card, till I saw the fourteen identical cards in his hand! Exactly like the one he gave me. And he had fourteen red roses too. He said, “Well, I’m being honest. I don’t know which girl will accept my true love.” I laughed and laughed. I don’t think any of the fifteen girls (including me) did. Or maybe the last girl he gave the card to did—because she wouldn’t have seen the other fourteen! Talk about contingency planning! Then life happened, I moved to a new town and I lost touch with Rueben. He did track me down in Mumbai, but I was working then, and we lost touch again.I have no idea where he is now. Rueben was a laugh-a-minute riot. There was never a dull moment with him around. So, Rueben, if you are reading this blog—you know where to reach me!:-)

Last valentines day, I lost a good friend .No, no don’t get me wrong—he did not die. Our friendship did. He sent me a message asking if I would be his valentine. I replied ahem—politely—saying I could not be his valentine, but I could continue to be his friend.(After which I promptly cut off all contact with him—I never thought of him ‘that way’) I was shocked. My husband was livid. He said I was gullible. Now, when a guy calls you up long distance from Australia, two or three times a day, what else can it be, he asked. I had, of course, pooh-poohed what he said and defended my friend, till he sent this valentine message. But he was right as usual.It was me who had been naive.

So, this Valentines day I will not check my mail.(You never know what you’ll find in your inbox!) Husband has taken an off from work to spend the day with me (That is really sweet of him) .He is a great guy and I'm still in love with him after 12 years of marriage.(That is a very recent picture of us both)

And Rueben, when you get in touch, whatever you do, please don’t send me a valentines card!The only ones I’m accepting are the ones that my children made for me :-) :-)

19 comments:

  1. That is a great picture of you both - you look so happy together, adn I love the cards your children made for you.

    I know what you mean about being wiser about this day as you get older. I have always had mixed feelings about it - when I was at school (all girls) the 'in crowd' of girls used to make fun of me as I never got any cards and they always got many being pretty and fashionable.

    I got a beautiful card from M this morning though and it made me very happy :-)

    Wishing you a Happy Valentines day!

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  2. Wishing you also a very happy valentines day bob-kat.It is nice to receive cards--from the ones you truly love,that is! :-)

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  3. Oh girl, you're quite the heartbreaker, aren't you? :)
    I find this day to be very cynical. There isn't a tradition here of celebrating it, but the stores and the media insist we should. So it's a day to spend money. Just like any other day to me, to be honest, but I hope you have a good one.

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  4. Even I find the day a bit cynical--but its nice to get cards, and tell you that you are loved--just like any other day.(i mean even if I got cards on any other day saying I'm loved a lot--i'd still like it!!) :-)

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  5. I hope you, and your family, have a great day -- full of love.

    From Joe, and Gawpo, I found my here the other day, where I stole the graphic from your Feb. 4 post. Thanks.

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  6. I was married 19 years ago today. Part of the reason we chose Valentines day as an anniversary was because I always enjoyed the holiday as a child, and I never wanted it to become just a meaningless hallmark holiday! So now, it will always be meaningful for me.

    On the other hand -- over this many years, it isn't always an ecstasy of romantic passion. But it is meaningful, at least.

    I've always been rather naive about friendships with men. At least, that is what my husband tells me. I believe you CAN be friends with the opposite sex, PLATONICALLY. He says no, men are ALWAYS thinking of women sexually, even if they are just friends. And so, he has no women friends that he will call to chat with, he feels it would be wrong. And he dislikes it when I strike up a friendship with a man.

    If that is true, I hate it. But I really don't think it is true.

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  7. Happy Valentine's Day to you! So very sweet your husband took the day off to spend with you--he knows how to keep the romance alive!

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  8. Paul: Steal away! Will be visiting you soon.

    Sue: This is EXACTLY what my husband says.He too doesnt have any women friends he can call.And he too says exactly what your husband says.Who knows--we'll have to ask the men.

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  9. Katherine :Sometimes the cynic in me still wonders :-) Happy Valentines day to you too.

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  10. Hello, my friend. I love that picture of you and hubby. Your sweet faces marry me to hope. I speak to Cindra on the phone daily, sometimes at least a dozen times. Most are short conversations between her mommy duties, running in to stores, coming out of stores, going to pick up the kids, etc. Not knowing the full story of Australia Dude, I cannot say much. But Cindra and I asked each other to "be my Valentine" and there is no untoward meaning in that. Not here, anyway. It is common to ask it and to be asked by those who are taken as long as the understanding is in place that you are being friendly. I know that I could also ask Tom to be my Valentine and he would say yes and Cindra (hopefully!) would not be jealous. Ha! I'm sure you trusted your gut feeling on what that man was up to and your husband also had the vibes. Oh, and Cindra and Tom's two (almost 3) year old Bonnie Baby asked me to be her Valentine too today. I said yes. Her Ken doll was livid. But he'll get over it. Did you visit Somewhere Joe yet? He is amazing and daring and so creative. I hope Atul enjoyed my "short" email to him.

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  11. The comment you left on my blog was EXACTLY right. Love is not about one day at all (though it is nice to be pampered a bit).

    It's an interesting point you and Sue raise about platonic friendships with men and reminds me of the film 'When Harry met Sally'. Personally I think you can be friends with men and have had friends of the opposite sex all my life. Sometimes they do have to get over the 'atttraction' thing though but if the friendship is strong and it is clear that that is all that you can give then I have found it works.

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  12. I do believe that Men can have Women as friends only..I do and have had many very good female friends over the years. I have always warmed to the 'Venusian' spirit as it were.

    Your post was funny and reminded me of the way Jan and I are actually closer to eachother no than ever..23 years and counting!

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  13. I love the picture of you and your husband. Joy radiates from it.
    I agree with Sue and think platonic relationships are totally possible with the opposite sex, however, there have been times when I was blindsided by men I thought were just friends and instead wanted to be more.
    It always makes me angry because I don't want to be thought of as a person without honor. Someone who would break a vow.

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  14. Joe removed the post I was referring to. I hope you were able to see it before it disappeared. Very sweet and bold was it. What Bob-Cat says about getting over the attraction with some friends is so true in my life. I only have one true male friend. The men I am around most want to talk about fishing or hunting or guns or cars. Phooey to that. Doesn't interest me. I do love to fish, though. I usually have to go alone or endure man talk. (Isn't man talk in New York or somewhere like that?)

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  15. Gawpo; I saw the poem and that piece of music on Joe's blog.But did not see the 'bold post':-( Why did he remove it?!!!Glad you got Atul's mail.hope you got mine too!!!

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  16. Gawpo: The meaning that valentines day takes on, varies from culture to culture.In India, it is still looked upon as a western influence,mostly celebrated by young couples in love.It is okay to wish anybody(friends, relatives etc) "happy valentines day"..But "Will you be my valentine?" clearly implies that the person wants to go 'beyond platonic friendship' The Australian guy just lives in Australia--he is an Indian who was born and brought up in India, and is very much aware of the cultural nuances and the implications.

    Rayne: I know exactly what you mean.I agree with your views and feel the same way.

    Niall: Glad it amused you.Also glad that at least one man agrees that there can be platonic friendships!

    Bob-Kat: Had mentioned 'When harry met sally' in one of my previous posts too. Platonic friendships are totally possible--Whether t stays that way or not just depends on which man and which woman!

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  17. That explains so much. Thank you. And I don't know why he thought to remove that post. Perhaps he felt a bit too revealed.

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  18. What PS has said about me is her being modest. She is the pilalr in our marraige that has supported me, nurtured me and ensured that our marraige flowered. I have gained more from her than she from me. She has helped me become a much better person and made me think about life differently from my staid old ways. You can see proof of the fact that I have gained a lot from her from the fact that I have put on some weight too and she has remained where she is. When your valentine is special like mine you would do everything like mundane taking off from work, gifting roses etc. However what you need to also do is provide a heartful thanks to your love for the joys you have got from the relationship and forgive and forget the not so good aspects and swear to make tommorow a brighter and better one. PS for you I would take the whole year off, I would go to the moon and back, I would gladly sacrifice my life for you, I would stop working and sit with you throughout ( I guess the last one may not be too reaslistic... we need to get some money to eat too) but I guess you get the idea. Thanks for being my best friend and giving me all you have till now.

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  19. V-day is gift time for me...i never let my husband forget it...in fact hv something in mind for this yr n will hint it to him over dinner...hope he catches it like he always does...cute cards...i love DIY stuff...

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