Monday, February 26, 2007

Smashing--PUMPKINS!

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From what I read and observe, it is usually the new mothers, college students and those who work with public who are prone to getting unsolicited advice. I don’t fall into any of these categories—why then do I keep getting questions about my lifestyle and unsolicited advice from well meaning or maybe the not-so-well-meaning people around me?

Does it ever happen to you—or is it only me? I look at myself in the mirror—Do I seem like I’m helpless? Or incompetent? (or both?)Or may be an innocent know-nothing damsel in distress?

People ask me how I manage to keep in shape (all the time), how I handle my childrens’ studies (many a time), How I keep myself so cheerful (sometimes) and what shampoo and conditioner I use for my hair. (One time)
Some dissect my clothes and tell me what I should be wearing and what I shouldn’t be. Or sometimes they tell me that what I’m wearing isn’t ‘in’.(Like I care) Some question me as to what asanas (yogic postures—yes, I do practice yoga) I do and then go on to give me lectures about how a particular branch of Yoga is excellent and how what I’m doing is ‘not right’.

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What I really feel like doing to such people is smashing their faces in.(All the time) What I instead do is go into long winded unnecessary explanations (Many a time).Or tell them innocently “Oh, that is interesting. I shall definitely do that” (Sometimes, but the sarcasm is lost on them).Or simply say bluntly “Look I really don’t care and can’t be bothered to answer you.” (One time)

How do you politely tell people to buzz off and mind their own business? Any ideas?How would you handle it? Tell me I’d like to know [Yes, I do like advice when I ask for it :-)]

14 comments:

  1. This sounds exactly like my experiences - so much so, it's spooky! I often find that people ask me questions simply so that they can advise me, and they always seem to be the same type of person. The type that is opinionated and arrogant enough to believe that they are always right.

    I have always hated that I have to explain my choices to these people, and defend my choice, so now I tend not to. My choice has as much right to be respected as theirs. As I am a nice polite person so I tend to agree, then do exactly what I choose. I practice the sarcasm response too, which is satisfying for me and always lost on them! I tend not to explain myself unless someone is genuinely interested in listening to my choice rather than trying to change it.

    You cna probably tell this topic sets me off on a bit of a rant but it really is annoying isn't it?!

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  2. ha ha yes that happens to all of us. i m getting remined of tha gal whose unt kept tellin her on all weddings" ur next" n then one time at a funeral she told her aunt "ur next". it is difficult dealing with such ppl.. i always give them sarcasting forced smiles or just ignore the questions..

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  3. Oh this is really funny!
    I know how you feel, it's really annoying when people don't mind their own business. And some of those people are in serious need of advice themselves, they just have no idea. lol
    My advice is to keep it short and sweet - smile politely, ironically if it suits you, and give laconic answers. Don't explain too much, your words would be lost in them, completely.

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  4. I am in these circumstances exceedingly polite..I will say "How awfully interesting"..or "I'll bear that in mind"..or "*!2£% &*^%& £$%^£ "£$%$£ $%^%$£!!!"..that sometimes works!

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  5. if you don't want to answer someone's question ,easy thing to do is to jokingly ask back 'why do you want to know?'.That should take care of it

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  6. Yeah you should get some anger management classes. ;p

    Don't hit me.

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  7. ps, you must be doing something right. When you've got your act together, everybody wants a piece of it. "Success has a thousand parents, failure is an orphan."

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  8. A wicked smile followed by a 'Sorry I wasn't listening' drives them up the wall many a times :P

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  9. Bharathi5:49 PM

    the best way to deal with it is to ignore it...i learnt it from hubby...i still have to put it into practise though

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  10. One option I find is "Thats me...I am still trying to be different"

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  11. Ha ha ha ha!!!

    I love the fact that you've so PRECISELY documented the 'number of times' a question is asked/an advice is dispensed!

    About unwanted advice, I hardly get any, but then again... its probably because I have a history of violence... ;)

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  12. Oh, crack me up! I want to smash their faces, too. I think the best thing to do is to somehow turn it around into a question that lets them know how inane and stupid they are. I don't know, "Why Jane, why would you want to know who does my hair when you just told me it was the wrong color?"

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  13. Where does Joe come up with that stuff? But he's right.

    What I like to do is keep a very straight face, nod my head and say, "Thank you." Then I walk away.

    By the way, you really need to change the background on your blog. It's too brown.

    Why are you looking at me like that? Yikes! I'm outta here.

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  14. Please include 'Pregnant Women' to that list!!! Constantly in the radar of unwarranted advice that makes one want to take a saucepan and go bang, bang, bang!

    I've decided to look up all your posts from the start - Oct 22nd, 2006, hence this rant on an oldish post :)

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