On rapes and child sexual abuse.
If you find strong language offensive or if you are under 18, please do not read this post. I am writing this disclaimer in the beginning as I know many of my friends children, read my posts. This post is definitely not for kids.
The recent bestial, horrific and utterly savage rape of the five year old leaves me sick to the pit of my stomach. Try as I might, I can't get over the horrifying brutality which that innocent would have been subjected to.
How can rape be explained?
Psychologists and Sociologists have differing views. (One of my numerous degrees is a masters in Sociology which also happens to be a subject that fascinates me).
Psychologists say that the Rapists are mentally unsound and have probably been subject to a lot of atrocities, cruelties, while growing up.
Sociologists feel that rape is about gender inequality. It is about expression of power and dominance. Men rape, to 'keep women in their place'. Men are indeed more powerful physically and in many societies economically as well as politically too, the balance tips in favour of men.
Perhaps some men may have psychological issues, when they rape women. And others may be perfectly sane men. Whatever be the motive, the fact is rape cannot happen without sexual arousal.
Are men who rape such a slave to their penises and urges? Or is it that they consider women 'unworthy' of being anything but a 'c**t'? Is culture to blame? Is the upbringing of these men to blame? Have these men grown up watching their fathers and elders beat up women regularly and forcing themselves on women, that they think such behavior is really okay? That women 'deserve' it.
Whatever it is, there simply is no excuse for rape. And when it is a child, it sickens me so much, it makes me want to throw up.
The laws have to be made STRINGENT. Courts have to speed up trial. Let there be fast-track courts for rape cases where the victims aren't questioned by insensitive brutes, but trained counselors. Castrate the bastards who dare rape. Let them live, but castrate them so they live with the shame of their deeds. Make their faces public. (Why the hell is the face of the rapist of the five year old hidden with cloth?) Do not allow people to forget. Tatoo 'I am a rapist' on their foreheads so they can't hide. Let them be made examples of, so that not a single person will even dare think of rape. There is a strong need for such deterrent action.
As parents however, we have to make our children aware, without scaring them. The statistics for Child sexual abuse speak a horrifying story and this even when most of the cases are hushed up.
Here are some facts about Child sexual abuse:
- Most children are abused by someone they know and trust.
- An estimated 60% of perpetrators of sexual abuse are known to the child but are not family members, e.g., family friends, babysitters, childcare providers, neighbors.
- About 30% of perpetrators are family members, e.g., fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins.
- Just 10% of perpetrators are strangers to the child.
In the times we live in, all we can do as parents, is to arm our child with knowledge. Knowlege is power.
As a parent, here is what you can do:
1. Speak about sex frankly to your children, in a way that they can understand, depending on the age of the child. There are many books and resources to tell your children about sex, if you feel awkward to do it. Let the child know that sex is ok, only when it is between two consenting adults.
2. Make them aware that their body is theirs alone. Nobody has a right to touch their bodies in any inappropriate way and make them understand what is inappropriate.
3. Do NOT trust anyone when it comes to your child. Doesn't matter if you are considered a 'paranoid parent'. Be safe. Do not send your child alone with the driver or helper or whoever.
4. Teach the child to not trust anyone just because they are an adult. This is true especially in the Indian Culture, where we tell out children to 'respect all elders'. Respect them, but also tell your children that 'terms and conditions apply'. (and it is indeed okay)
5. Make your child memorize your phone number and teach your child to be bold and SCREAM for help if they sense trouble. teach them to be unafraid. (Do not make them suspicious of everyone though. Children are smart. They do understand much more than we give them credit for).
There are so many emotions running through me, as I write this post.
I say a prayer for the safety of women and children.
Fie upon the demons who rape. May they rot and suffer.
And it is indeed disgusting that in a country like ours women have to be frightened to step out alone and always need a man for 'protecting; them.
Really a crying shame.