Who are you?
Sometime back I came across this post and I loved it. It expressed some of my sentiments exactly, about why people put up their children’s photos in the blogs. I really felt like applauding Poppins who wrote the post for saying it so well.
When I started my blog, it was simply an aid to cope with grief. I had no idea that many would read—and connect so well. I had no idea that it would launch an alternate career for me in writing as well. (I get regular writing assignments now from various magazines and newspapers too. My articles have started appearing in print—and cheques have started coming in. It feels very fulfilling)
Of late though, I have started getting bothered about some people who regularly read my blog and do not say a word. They arrive on my blog by specifically searching for my blog with my FULL name, that too my maiden name. This means that these people know me well. They know what my kids look like, they know what my husband looks like, they know what I am doing and feeling. (That does not bother me as I am really proud of my husband and my kids) Yet they choose to be silent.(That is what bothers me)
Why? Why are these people not speaking up? It seems a bit eerie to me—to constantly keep reading what I am saying, without saying a word. It feels like I am being stalked. It feels like someone wearing a mask is standing at my window and looking right in. It also means someone is very very interested in my life—but is not speaking up.(If they don’t want to say anything on my blog—they can at least send me a email, right? My email id is there on my profile)
Mostly I connect with almost anybody who leaves a comment. I visit their blog—or if they are non-bloggers, I reply to the comment. But this silent, sneaky, anonymous visitor/s that I have no clue about is bothering me. (Especially because obviously they have been a part of my life at some point of time—or someone close to them has been---else there is no way they would know my maiden name)
It is bothering me so much that yesterday I deleted a couple of photos and a few of my older posts. If it continues I guess I will just have to be very very wary---and make my blog private and allow only the regular readers in.
That is sad because I have connected with SO MANY of you only because of my blog. I have found some great friends in Suma (Of thinking aloud) and Prats (of Emotional Ecology) to name just a couple.(There are many more--YOU know who you are!) I really enjoy interacting with people, reading what they have to say—and knowing what is going on in their lives. If I make my blog private I do lose out on meeting new people.
What is your suggestion? What do you say? What should I do?
After reading some of the comments--I am hastening to clarify:
What is bothering me is that someone searched for me by my 'maiden name' and 'blog'---(which I used to use in college and that was 15 years back and for my alumni group) This means that person(s) knows me and knows I have a blog.Yet they are choosing to keep quiet.That is REALLY annoying and a bit worrisome too.
And no--i haven't said anything in my blog that I am ashamed of or want to hide--It's just that Mr./Ms. Annonymous friend reading everything and keeping silent that is clawing in the mind.(and yes--I can see everyone who comes,from where they come(location as well as referring URL),what they read,and how long they stay)