A Bad drain attack.
Sometime back, I had written about Radiators and Drains.(If you don’t know what that is click on the underlined) As I grow older, I find that I am becoming increasingly intolerant, to the drains. Maybe it is because when one grows older, one realises that the cliché ‘Life is short’ is indeed, startlingly true. Therefore I find that I am becoming exceedingly selective, about whom I spend my time with. When one is a teen or a young adult, life seems to stretch endlessly, like an ocean. When one enters forties, I guess, it appears more like a lake. Probably, when one is in sixties, it will shrink, to look like a stream. So why waste even a single drop?
Unfortunately, at times, you just cannot avoid certain drains. They emerge like a sudden gust of wind, catching you unawares. You might have 98 good things going for you, but the drains will point out the 2 things that may be ‘not-so- good’. They seem to take great pleasure in pointing those two things out to you. (as though you did not know ).Or they may cleverly disguise put- downs, as compliments. At times, they do not say anything, but after a visit from them, you feel a bit worthless, sightly shaken and not so happy anymore.
Right now, I am just recovering from one such drain attack. This person has some ‘reserved opinions’ about my art, about my home and about a lot of other things that I do. Of course, this person is entitled to it. But why in the world would you want to tell someone, that something should be ‘this way’ and not ‘that way’? Why not keep quiet and look away if you don’t like something? (Considering the fact that it is not your home or your life and it does not even affect you remotely.)
It is ironical, as conventional wisdom has it that as one grows older, one becomes more accepting, more tolerant. But I find the opposite to be true. As I grow older, I am becoming more and more certain that it makes sense, to have only radiators in your life.
After all, life is short!
I know what u mean about Radiators... I hope the "drain" effect wears off soon...ReplyDelete
Quite a nice name.. Radiators & Drains..ReplyDelete
Guess it's time for a pitstop to refuel post drain encounters..
Really very well written...Acceptance and tolerance become rarer as life proceeds.Radiators become necessary...and drains are unavoidable.ReplyDelete
Ahh Preeti. I am starting to think that we lead parallel lives. Unbelievable. R had the same effect on me last Thursday. In the guise of trying to "protect" me from "asking unnecessary questions"ReplyDelete
This was just at the time I was beginning to trust her. Now I am so glad that I found her out before I trusted her completely. But yes, I too am pissed off.
I guess this just runs through its own course. Hope yours do the same!
123.415% (rounded to three decimal places) true. What is wrong with us all I don't know. Mostly with all my experience thus far, it is only *US(Indians)* that don't know when not to cross which line. We have this rather bad habit of pushing people and stretching people with some rotten stale comments such as these. Crazy ain't it?ReplyDelete
For a minute, I thought you were dissecting me and the reasons for leaving Kut. I will die another day to live today :-D
Forget such people, they are not really worth anything.
I will still go with the more conventional point of view which says that we become more calm as we grow old.. ofcourse things might not look up all the times.. but thats just life.. and the worst thing about a 'not so good' thing is they bring into focus all the things thats wrong with one's life.. we somehow need to turn the lights on the good things however few they might seem.. ah enough "gyan"..ReplyDelete
but still one thing i have realised is u cant change the way ppl think or act.. u just cant.. so if you have to be happy u gotta change how u react to it... :)
Ritu:Thanks! I too hope it does.ReplyDelete
J:no more stopping for the drains.Gotta drive faster! ;-) U do have that chip embedded dont you?!! :-)
Akanksha:We MUST avoid the drains.
Vidya:Am sure R might have been jealous of you--think about it.
umm...i knw how it feels! ive met a lotta drains personally and i feel as if am just hopeless doing nothing in my f***ed up life...ReplyDelete
but newas, wen am over with it, tis like i hv so many good things to look at and nice people to meet...
so i'd personally suggest u to tk it outta ur mind and tink bout good things cuz it aint doin any good but harmin u...maybe makin u feel dat ur art is worthless even wen u knw uve given it ur best...4get bout it..things does happen...
life is short and full of obstacles but tis how we tackle em rite?
The last line says it all.ReplyDelete
There have been many many great philosophers.
We can learn a lot from history.
The best thing that they teach us is that they, like everyone, die.
So why not just say- One life. Live it.
I love these angry posts of yours lolReplyDelete
You're right. Goodbye drains. I'm already very selective of who doesn't make me happy but there are some drains we can't get rid of you, that send us cryptical little messages in everything they say. It's the double-bind I wrote about in an old post.
But let's not waste more water thinking about them.
Ankit:will ask u again when you are in your thirties and a dad of two kids (whether u are more calm or not!!):-)ReplyDelete
I dont think we need drains to point out the not so good things.Most of the tmes, we are aware.Drains just do it to feel better about themselves.
Hi..Nice post. What you say is so true. I personally experienced one such drains in the past. Person affected me very badly and i decided to stay away from her. She was 'suppose to be' my childhood friend..tho have never been very close. She always used to take the liberty of saying whatever and i kept quite all the while thinking about our relationship for so long. After all these years i decided to stay away from her..finally. Its been 4 months and am definitely feeling better.ReplyDelete
Its always important to hv good people around you to keep yourself high and kicking :)
Am moving on....
I just read up the underlined, :), "Radiators & Drains"
Quite an interestingr read!
ANd also about what thoughts on life is short.
Debatalble but very interesting!
nice blog, good to be here..
Chitra:Thanks.I'm glad you decided that she isnt worth it.Sometimes these people say such things only so that they can feel superior and get their ego kicks.Definitely not worth cultivating.If you feel down after inteactng with them then they ARE a drain--no matter how you rationalise their words.ReplyDelete
People always seem to have opinion about others, how the other should live, eat, die etc, but they never know how to live their own lives. Such people usually dont have anything great going on in their own lives. To them, i say, "Get a life man" ;)ReplyDelete
Hey preets I do hope you have recovered from the Bout of "Drain attack" & are your cheerful self. Also Thanks for the compliment you gave me..in connection with this. But beleive me these drains attack because they themselves are envious of your success & self assurance, the very things they lack & so their way of covering it up is by "complimenting you by put downs". So the next time you are in the "line of a drain attack" just smile & say sweetly.."thank you...but I like things the way they are..." & MEAN IT OK!!!! :) Take care.ReplyDelete
I like this post. A thought tht was on my mind recently. To minus the drainers and keep the radiators. Yet i have to say its a pretty challenging task cause not all drainers can be minused easily esp when we somehow have to be connected. Sometimes they are pretty much needed yet sometimes they pretty much should be treated as "invisible".ReplyDelete
I recently drew a line with a drainer. And yeah it was for the better.
oh ok no comments then! :|ReplyDelete
Sweetsticky;very true.U just caanot avoid some drains.
Suj/life is a gift: You are so right my friend--that is indeed sensible advice as always.
Misti:They seem to want more life--yours!!
Vik:very true about us,Indians.Sadly.ReplyDelete
It's very true, these people just suck the good feeling out of you. Happily I have become better at identifying the drains as well. As you say, life is too short and I really don't have any time for them any more.ReplyDelete
It sounds like that person was mean about your art. They may be entitled to their own taste but they do not have to pass judgement on it like theirs is the only valid point of view! I always say, if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all. I for one, love the wonderful creativiity of your art :)
Please do! I just dont agree with this.. dont know whether its hope or something else.. :)ReplyDelete
yes the not so good things r always there.. what i meant was "drains" (as u call it ) will just maginify the focus on these..
anyway heres hoping there wont be any drains ever..
Each and every experience.. good or bad teaches you something new! Doesn’t it?
Ankit:we'll see :-) Then again each one reacts differenty.May be U will be more calm and accepting as u grow older--who am i to pass judgement!! (it is silly if i do)ReplyDelete
Dame's diary:oh yes--it does.
Bob-kat:Thanks pal!! U are definitely one of the best radiators that know of.ReplyDelete
My drain attacks happen usually in weekend too, when drains get time to annoy me.ReplyDelete
The best thing for an offending 'Drain' is to put some strong disinfectant down it!..a bad drain is one that is clogged up with all sorts of rubbish...ReplyDelete
oh and i hate the types od drains who will find u rt when ur hiding away from them.. n also ppl who pretend to be friends with u when u both know that u just hate each other.. worst kind of drains..ReplyDelete
I see I can learn a lot on this site, but I know exactly what you are talking about. Have been drained a lot in the past as well.ReplyDelete
I think of it as when you grow stronger you tend to radiate more and attract more radiating people.
But than there is still the problem of some you can't undo yeh
very well-written PS! U've got the flare for such posts...ReplyDelete
This one got me thinking so much...acceptance...tolerance...arent they supposed to get easier to understand as we grow older? but sometimes it seems so hard...
i talk abt this some as well but i dont hv the convenient terms of radiators and drains... think il use them now. :)ReplyDelete
thing is both radiators and drains work only through our own responses and reactions. if we are unaffected by their energies, just watchful observers, they cannot be considered radiators and drains no longer... yeah?
A Pleasure! :) Thank you too.ReplyDelete
Revathi: They do ruin the weekend dont they?!ReplyDelete
Niall:Unfortunately you cannot use disinfectant on some drains.
Celestine:You are very right.But sometimes I feel that one has to be a buddha if one shouldnt get affected by what people say.We all do--dont we? Praise makes us happy--put downs makes us feel bad.
Kaylee: Thank U!
Marja: Some people remain drains even when they gow old.Then they become even more irritating!
Love the new look..!!!!ReplyDelete
my updates are on my other blog:PReplyDelete
Kaylee:will check out.
Me' thinks that person is envious of what you have..who you are..owww' yess...I bet!ReplyDelete
Lovely post :>
Thumbs up on this article... I know how it feels because I come across Drains quite often when I am back home...They have an opinion on everything I do, and they are nothing positive and leave me wondering if I am doing okay, if not fine....as you said, I hope they'd look the other way...!ReplyDelete