Annonymous comments by gutless rats
Actually, that is unfair to the rats-- even rats have some kind of guts. One thing that I hate is people who leave annonymous comments. They are not welcome on my blog.That is the reason I have enabled comment moderation.
When I share things, it is usually because they are heartfelt.When people write in to comment, I genuinely feel comforted.I feel happy.I feel consoled.I feel I'm not alone.
I received this comment about my last post
"Mom,What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone who has looked at this blog is now dumber for having read this. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul. What a bunch of arse"
Usually I'd have ignored such a comment. But a 'friend' told me that I am being a hypocrite if I dont publish the comment. I told him that my blog was not for annonymous idiots to vent out their feelings. I asked him if this annonymous person has ever lost a parent whom he/she was close to?Has he/she ever felt alone?Has he/she ever felt scared?Does he/she even have a child?Does he/she know what it means to feel so deeply that you lose sleep? This person(the one who left the annonymous comment) is not only nasty, rude and frustrated--he/she is also inhuman.
This friend accused me of just wanting 'sweet comments' and he said my blog didn't have a heart. Ha!! Everything I write is heartfelt and genuine. Everything is the truth too.
Why do people say nasty things? Does it make them feel more of a man? (or a woman) Is it jealousy that prompts such comments? Why is there so much hate?
Any reasons?
You have every right to moderate your comments. You have every right to filter out the cold and cruel. This is your blog, your little slice of cyber space. One of the few things in life you can exercise control over.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately there are people out there that delight in hurting others. In Internet Land they are called Trolls. I imagine them to be sad, angry, horrid, self-riteous little people who have found an annonymous way to hurt others without having to face them. True cowards in every sense of the word. The best thing to do is delete them and forget them.
Now...about the gutless rat comment, a few of my fuzzy little buddies would like to sit down with you over tea and seseme seed cookies and discuss the many misconceptions about rats :).
Hey hi - This is the second time am leaving a comment on your blog...have started visiting your blog because its so real and i can relate to it. I dont blog but i make it a pt to read yours.
ReplyDeleteYou should Ignore such comments and keep writing. Why do ppl login as nameless to leave a msg?? they are cowards and cant tell their opinion straight and this is more like a hobby to give unconstructive feedback.
IGNORE & pls keep writing
Cheers& My Best
Chitra
I can't believe that :(
ReplyDeleteYes, I think jealously might be a reason, not an excuse. There is no excuse and they must have too much time in their blood-stained hands :(
Disgusting!
Of course your blog has a heart and even if you only wanted sweet comments you would be allowed to have them because this is YOUR blog. Blogs should be sacred places, no one should damage that.
Rayne:i agree totally about misconception about rats.Its an unfortunate usage that has crept in, as a manner of speech.Yes usually I delete them.But this time I wanted to say what i felt--and not in the comment box(that will only encourage the annonymous)
ReplyDeleteChitra:I really appreciate it.Thanks!
DM: yes --I do so agree."blogs are sacred spaces.Noone should damage that"
Preeti, I know some people like this guy... they let their rational mind over-evolve to the point that all that matters to them are the things that can be explained rationally. That makes them feel kind of superior, but of course leaves out any space for irrational feelings such as loneliness, love and mercy. The best anyone can do is keep away from this kind of people AND their nasty pointless comments.
ReplyDeleteYou know that even I wonder why would someone write something like that.. i see no reason not to moderate comments.. no use publishing it so that u have to look at it again n again.. that just doesnt makes sense!
ReplyDeleteGuto: You have no idea HOW MUCH sense that made.You are so right. yes--maybe their minds have over-evolved like you said.Yes--they must be feeling very superior.--but I can only pity such an existence.They dont seem to have any feelings.
ReplyDeletePS,
ReplyDeleteI offer my sympathies to that 'friend' of yours. Stars and stones make no difference to the blind.
Balu
Ankit:Read Guto's comment.I think that explains it well.
ReplyDeleteBalu:Sometimes I feel sorry for him too--but I also like him.(which is why he is still a 'friend')
Preeti ,you have every right to decide which comment to publish and which one not.After all its your blog , not a public wall where anybody can go and do some graffiti!Its better to ignore such mindless and nasty comments.
ReplyDeleteIdream: Thanks pal!
ReplyDeleteMy last comment didn't get saved. What I wanted to say was:
ReplyDeleteMo(re)derate!
Hello, I think it is YOUR blog and you can choose to post only those comments you are comfortable posting. Regarding your previous post, it was very very touchy. I have not posted comments on many of your postings because I have had many of the similar experiences like yours. Having a parent die unexpectedly, the closeness you have with your kids, people considering us to be younger than our real age (got offered a balloon when I was 32!!!!!), having promised our child to die after they pass away...........
ReplyDeleteI did not want to post my comment saying ME TOO!! ME TOO!! Do not want to take anything away from your experience.
As regards to why people are nasty, well, that is the balance in nature. If there was no ugliness in the world, how wold you know to feel warm and fuzzy and compassionate when you saw something nice? I think we see enough nasty stuff going on in the real world and you have my vote to keep your comment list free from all kinds of nastiness. I think we need more sites that promote only happy or heart warming things(My fiend and I wanted to start a TV channel called the good news channel that broadcast only good things - people helping one another , people having overcome their circumstances and risen above them......) :) :)
Wow..i have so much to catch up on..especially the photos!!
ReplyDeleteWho on earth does 'Anonymous' think he is? (it is a 'He' I am presuming by the lack of eloquence and style). Preeti, you write from the heart and the mind with care , love and rationale. I do however think you have every right to moderate your comments..I've sometimes had comments from those who only want to entice you to join their own get rich quick schemes and are not at all intersted in constructive dialogue. Personally I think the post 'he' refered to is beautiful.
Hi PS,
ReplyDeleteYour friend has got to be kidding to say that your blog has got no heart.I guess to each his own. As from my own opinion. I adore your blog. Love its light heartedness etc. Something that often leave me with a smile so far. And i do see heart in there. Really wonder where ya mate is coming from.
I believe you have a right to want or throw comments esp anonymous comments like that. People have their own opinions on how we should keep our little comment box. But than again everyone wants sweet comments even me. And i believe ur mate too.So yeah no one likes comments that stink and furthermore anonymous. Just where did the balls go? You have a right on what you want to take in and what you want out. So yeah. Its your call.
No one really wants to hear things that pulls down the spirit and some people just love doing that cause they aren't happy with themselves.
You have a great blog here. And it keeps me coming. ROCK ON!;)
Cheers!:)
Whoa.. been seeing such things happening on and off with other bloggers.
ReplyDeleteNot sure as to the reasons that lead to this, but the bottomline is, it's your blog and you have every right to do what you want, even with regards to the comments.
And yeh, it would've been more dignified if Anony had the balls to come out in the open.
PS u wanna hear a story? A real one? Well this happened to me. In a bigger and more scarier scale. Anonymous commentors haunted me with making a clone of me as well..and they left nasty abusive comments under my ID at my friends' and strangers' blogs. As a result of that I got more abuse from them and some friends even dumped me! There was one anony commentor who wudnt give up on trying to bring me down. He/she was the worst human being I hv ever come across...cos he/she called me dirty names and ridiculed me everywhere in blogs! It was so pathetic I cudnt even believe there r real ppl like this in this world! They continued to do this to me for more than a year. I then had to disable anony comments in my blog and adopt comment moderation. They hated me for it but yet continued to abuse me at other blogs.
ReplyDeleteAt first I used to retaliate...even make posts like this one and tell them off. But later on I realised that was inviting more abuse...that I was giving them the VERY attention they were seeking from me. So I stopped fighting it...fighting the shitheads that is. Cos shit is not worth ur time n energy. After a while, like a miracle, they stopped altogether.
So my advice to u is this:
Dun give shit any attention!
Besides r u sure ur friend is really a friend?
Keshi.
And one more thing...dun care wut others say abt u or ur blog...u know who u r. And I think the world of u!
ReplyDeleteKeshi.
Hey P, i dnt think u have any problem publishing negative comments abt ur posts, in fact, i remember once i told u offline that i didnt like a particular feel about one of your painting and didnt want to publish it as a comment. U encouraged me to do so, and said u r not afraid of criticism. So i think, criticism is not what mean here, its the hypocrisy of the commenter, if he/she feels so strongly about ur blog, he/she should have given his/her name. If one wants to criticize come to the forefront, no backstabbing allowed. I think u did the right thing, why publish a rude anonymous comment.
ReplyDeleteAs for the ‘friend’, hmm, everyone has their own perception, he might be rude, but atleast was honest enough to tell you that on your face. I guess that’s why he is still a friend!
As for me, I love visiting ur blog, it is simple and honest, keep it up P :-)
Ts:I will (to both)!Thanks:-)
ReplyDeleteGayathri:Sharing your experience doesnt TAKE AWAY anything ! It only ADDS to it.Thanks for your support!I really appreciate it.I'd say hurrah for the TV channel--do it!
Niall:Thanks! I too presumed its a he but didnt want to jump to conclusions.
Sweetsticky:Thank you!!
J: Obviusoly easier to hide than be brave.
Keshi: You are SO RIGHT--and thanks for sharing that story.Hereafter thats what i will do.I usually ignore such comments, but this 'friend's' arguements just made me want to clarify that it is not because i want 'sweet' comments that i write this blog.It is an expression of my feelings, my thoughts. And yes--I will have to rethink about whether this friend is a 'friend' or a 'fiend' (yor words did make me think)
Thanks Keshi!
Misti: Rudeness can never be a substitute for honesty.You can be honest AND polite too. Rudeness ESPECIALLY from friends hurts more (as you expect that much more from a friend)
ReplyDeleteHey thanks for being kind and thanks for encouraging! :-)
I went back to the time you had put up your photo on the blog for the first time and came out of anonymity.Your reply to my comment at that time was about apprehensions of the kind of people that would be visiting your blog and hence the anonymity.So this is it then.You have to get used to this and instead of getting upset and angry,ignore them.
ReplyDeleteBlack and sick sheep in society are part of life,and we as clinicians, coming in contact with varied people,have learnt to identify and ignore them easily.
First: Amazingly cute pic!!! You look soooo cute...
ReplyDeleteSecond: great post yet again...
Have you noticed that such comments are always anonymous. How cowardly! They can't even own up to their own opinion so why should we take any notice?
ReplyDeleteI know how much comments like this hurt. Last year I had one particulalry malevolent person target my blog with malicious and insulting comments that left me in tears (I am not one to cry easily either).
I am fast coming to the conclusion that people like this should not be tolerated at all. They are poisonous and cruel adn I actually couldn't care less why thye do it. It's your blog, you publish what you like! I know I for one, like to visit and my dumb ass will continue to do so! As for your friend, well, I'm sorry but their advice doesn't seem all that friendly to me.
Hey PS. All that I wud have wanted to say to condone the act has been said here. I won't repeat them. But yes, I will emphasize that the world is full of people who really wud not care a frigging shit about another person's feelings or sentiments. Just show them the boot like u did, and like they rightly deserve. This is YOUR space, and you have the right to be in control.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could enable comment moderation on Rediff, but sadly, I can't. So when I find an unpalatable or way-off-the-mark comment, I simply delete it. Coz my blog is MY private space and every body had bloddy well respect that!
Ajitbhai:Thank you.Your perspective helped.
ReplyDeleteAdi crazy:Thank u,thank u thank u!!
Bob-Kat:Na--I did not cry--but I was a bit annoyed and I think i wrote this post just to prove my friend wrong.Usually I would have ignored such a comment.But this friend 'challenged' me to publish it--and said he'd like to see if i have the guts to publish it.
Ritu:Well said!I agree 100%
I came to see your wordless wednesday but then this photo caught my eye (wonderful photo) My thought is that this is your blog. You get to decide what goes on it, including comments. It's your blog - not someone else's free-for-all.
ReplyDelete**but this 'friend's' arguements just made me want to clarify that it is not because i want 'sweet' comments that i write this blog
ReplyDeletetrust me I hear that all the time from Jim. Even today he sais that I hv Comment Moderation on cos I want sweet comments only. Well guess what? I dun have the time n the energy to explain to him wut I want and wut I dun want and why I have Comment Moderation on. cos no matter what I say, he's always going to find something wrong with my reply. So I just said FUCK OFF to him and now I dun even bother with replying to his attention-seeking comments. I dun need to explain to ppl why I do certain things the way I do em at my blog. Cos its MY blog! And same goes to u PS. U dun need to EXPLAIN to anyone.
Keshi.
I'm sorry that you had this experience. I don't know if this helps but I think that's a form comment that someone has been circulating around. I've seen the identical one on many different sites. Word-for-word.
ReplyDeleteHello, I think you have a nice blog. I think that some people just say nasty things to get people going they have nothing better to do.
ReplyDeleteKeshi:You said it!! Its so true.One NEED NOT explain to 'attention seeking people' why one does certain things.They arent going to believe you anyway!
ReplyDeleteTammi:Thanks! But I think my friend's comments made me ponder more than the annonymous's comments.
ascendrisesabove:Thanks for taking time off to comment and let me know what u think!!
Jadey:you are right.Thnaks!
A sad incident ! There are millions of ppl who visit blogs in random.. Blame it on his personality.. He mite really b an unemotional guy.. !
ReplyDeleteCould he be anonymous coz , he knows u already ... but still wanted to make u feel bad or really felt what he had written.. and wanted to convey it without losin face..
I have wondered how u trusted web and had put ur fotos , shared pics of u r family .. etc., But .. thats what is so unique. U r blog is lovely coz its personal.. emotional...
Keep rockin.. ! And gud r bad comments... Keep the moderation on :)
Forgot to tell u .. In the comments settings.. there is an option to enable comments from Registered Users only.. U can try that too !
ReplyDeleteBharath: Honestly NOT a sad incident at all!!!Please read what i wrote to you in your orkut scrapbook. (but thanks!As regards trusting the web, it has given me so MUCH) I shall still keep my blog pen to anyon and continue to moderate comments :-)
ReplyDeleteKnow something P, this is your space. You just dont have to be carried by what your mate had to say. Besides it is just an opinion and you have your word to whether you accept it or not is'nt it.
ReplyDeleteShrek says "Drop it and leave it thing". I guess you should also do the same [:)]
Think you have got it all wrong. The anonymous person was not at all a rat. He was an A Class Ars**le. Rats like someone mentioned earlier are better beings. I find it very despicable if someone does not have the guts to publish his name. Only a coward would hide behind an anonymous facade and pass such judgements. If he had the balls then he should have given his name. By answering to such crap you are making a mistake. Just dump him/her into the pot where they belong (need I say which Pot). Keep writing and flush such comments. :)
ReplyDeleteOh Satish bhai, nice to see you mate. How you doing? Gyan purvak msg to PS [:D]
ReplyDeleteI think someone got worked up a bit hehehe.. Sab kuch teek tak?