Can you be happy ALL the time? Is it possible to not feel angry, hurt, upset, resentful, annoyed,frustrated, when things do not go the way you planned? Is it possible to always keep smiling and go on 'being positive'? Is it possible to not crib and to be 'accepting' and to 'move on'?
Of course not! Not unless you happen to be the smiling clown at Mc.Donalds or the Laughing Buddha, stationed at the entrance to a Chinese restaurant. It is indeed okay and natural to feel down when life throws bricks at you. It is indeed okay to take time to recover from the blow.
Most people I meet tell me that I am one of the most down to earth, friendly and approachable people they have come across. They compliment me about how 'grounded' I am. They say I am an icon to them and they want to be like me. All that is very good and I thank them. (But deep down, I am always suprised that they want to emulate me!) Then I get the 'You're-my-inspiration-and-you're-someone-i-look-upto' kind of emails. I truly do not mind these either and chances are that if you have written to me, you would have most probably got a reply.(Unless of course it's been overlooked because of the hundreds of mails that I get. I do read every single mail).
But what really irks me are some of the mails which border on accusations of being insincere. I never pretend to be what I am not and my honesty is something I pride myself on. One of the mails I got said " I am sorry to say, I am forced to rethink about your positivity." Another tried to warn me that my 'market value' will go down if I write books like '34 Bubblegums and Candies' (which has got a lot of praise. My FB page is a testimony) and this person was deeply disappointed because this person expected the book to be like 'Life is what you make it'.
Fact is, it is we who project our expectations on to people. Then we feel disappointed that 'they did not measure up.' We (and that applies to all of us) mostly want people to behave the way we see them. We tend to forget that they are definitely entitled to their feelings of joy, happiness, resentment, anger or whatever. They are also entitled to express it in any form they wish as long as it is not harmful to YOU.
I truly believe that negativitiy and unsolicited (but perhaps well meaning) advice is one of the biggest drains on your time and energy. It just gets you down and you truly do not need it. If you are a giver of such advice, I do feel you should introspect as to why giving that advice makes you feel better. If you are a receiver of such advice, just brush it off and move on. Even thinking about it (for 'improving oneself'--please! whom are we kidding here?!) is not worth your time.
Life is precious. Life is truly what you make it.
So do the things that YOU want to do, no matter what others , however close they are to you,say. They can never be YOU. They cannot live YOUR life. It is only YOU who know what makes you happy.
And whatever you think is right is indeed right.(I presume here, you're not a psycho-criminal planning to kill or rape their next victim :-))
It's all okay, really!
ps: Bookchums had interviewed me. Read it here