Thursday, November 20, 2014

How to get over someone who does not love you back. Ten things you can do #askpreeti


A week has flown past so fast. It's Thursday once more and it is #AskPreeti !



Every Thursday, I shall blog my answer to a question, which you have asked. You can ask me questions with #askpreeti tag either on my FB page or tweet to me using #askpreeti 

Today I picked the question asked by reader Indira Saha. Indira asks what we can do when we love someone, but he doesn't love you back. You love them and do not want to let go. But they do not reciprocate your feelings. What do you do then?

You have to decide firmly to let them go.The more you hold on to them, the worse it is going to be for you. Letting go of someone you love is  hard. Very hard.
 Here are ten things you should do.

1. Accept the pain: Accept that it is going to hurt and it is going to hurt a lot. The pain is going to be searing. It is going to creep up on you constantly. It is going to make your heart heavy. It is going to  make you feel completely down and out. Accept it and do not fight it. Let it wash over you. Let it do it's worst. Remember it's power  to hurt you reduces every single day that goes by.

2. Be 1 percent better than yesterday: Be just one percent better than how you felt  yesterday.Go out for a walk in the park. Yes, it will still hurt but start building a teeny weeny mental shield. Say to yourself that you owe it to yourself to feel better.

3. Steel yourself:  Now that you have moped around a bit, time to get into commando mode. Steel yourself completely. Buck up. You are worth much more than someone not reciprocating your love. Your love is too precious to squander on the person who does not appreciate it.

4. Do one thing for yourself that makes you happy: Find one single thing that makes you happy and then do it. It might be a small thing like taking a photo on your mobile phone. Or it could be taking up a new hobby like gardening. Do that one thing for yourself. 
Picture of a flower I clicked in my mother's garden.


5. Yoga--Vinyasa breathing: Yoga is a wonder drug. It gives you inner peace, calmness, strength of mind. It teaches you to relax, let go and be still. Continuos practice has numerous health benefits too. Try it once. Click here for an excellent ten minute yoga class.
I have tried it (and I practise Ashtanga yoga daily) and highly recommend it.


6.Meet new people : Time to expand your world. Start meeting new people. Start taking a genuine interest in other people who you get along with. Extend a hand of friendship. Do something nice for them. Go out for a cup of coffee. You might discover a great new friend.

7.Read: Books are therapy. Read, read and read ! You meet many characters who have gone through rejections, just the way you are now. You learn so much from good books. Reading is always a good thing. A good book draws you inside and makes you forget the world.

8.  Refuse to think of that person--Journal and forget method: Maintian a journal which noone can see but you. If their thoughts are hard to get rid off, allow yourself to rant all that you want in your journal. Write about what is hurting you, causing you pain. Whine, cry, moan all you want. Then refuse to think of them. Their quota of time in your brain is over for the day.

9.Express Gratitude for all that you have: One of the most beautiful things that you can do for yourself is to express gratitude for all that you have. The very fact that you are reading this on a laptop, proves that you  are among the privileged ones. Count all your blessings, the things that are going right in your life and be very thankful for them

10. GROW: Remember the following words:



Follow the above ten tips and you will soon be on your way to forgetting that person who does not love you back.
You deserve more. Because you are special, you know.  Loads of love!
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If you like my post you will definitely love my books. They are all about love, relationships and overcoming obstacles that life throws at you.


My new book releases on December 10th.
Grab it at a great price:

Thursday, November 13, 2014

How to become a better writer? #askpreeti

Every Thursday, I shall blog my answer to a question, which you have asked. You can ask me questions with #askpreeti tag either on my FB page or tweet to me using #askpreeti - See more at: http://blog.preetishenoy.com/2014/11/family-versus-work-what-should-you.html#sthash.qr7xyH3g.dpuf


 It's Thursday! And it is #askpreeti

Every Thursday, I shall blog my answer to a question, which you have asked. You can ask me questions with #askpreeti tag either on my FB page or tweet to me using #askpreeti 

Today I picked three questions which are related. Readers-- Vishad Gupta, Risita Ghadei and Varsha Gaikwad asked me about how to improve English and asked about writing better and editing better.

First of all I must reiterate that I am still learning how to write better! I might be a successful novelist but of course I am still a student. With each book I write, I am getting better. But there is a long way to go.

How did I start writing my first novel--what my journey was like--I have blogged about it in detail on my 500th Post. (written in 2011)  Click HERE

Here are some things that I do, which work superbly for me---and maybe they will be of use to you too.

1.Read a lot: It is imperative to read in order to become a better writer. Read a wide variety of authors--and not just Indian authors please! I read up to four books at a time. Each room in my home will have a book that I am currently reading. I just finished Murakami's South of Border West of Sun, Neil Gaiman's Anansi Boys and started Gillain Flynn's Gone girl. They are BRILLIANT writers. If you want a fun,light, fast paced read, try Sophie Kinsella. The thing with reading--more you read, more you will enjoy it. And the benefits of reading are improved grammar and vocabulary and improved intelligence. Scientific research has proven that people who read are smarter than the ones who don't. So make time to read. If you do not like fiction there are tonnes of non-fiction. You need not restrict your reading to books. Sites like www.economist.com and Huffington post have excellent articles.  Don't know how to make time? Here is a post I wrote--5 ways to make time to read: http://blog.preetishenoy.com/2013/06/5-ways-to-make-more-time-to-read-blog.html

2. Write every single day: If you want toned muscular arms, you go the gym and pump weights,take whey protein and spruce your diet. You put in hard work and you see results. How is writing any different? If you are serious about being a writer, you have to write every single day. You needn't write a novel or a book or anything 'great'. You don't even have to share it with anybody. You can write emails, blog posts, diary entries, journals, paragraphs, about something you read, something that moved you, something you feel strongly about---anything at all! There are no rules. Just write and pour it all out. It is certain to get better with time and experience.

3.Learn a new word every day: When I was a little girl, my dad told me to read the editorial of 'The Hindu' and write down difficult words that I did not know the meaning of. Those were the days before Internet and computers. I would write them down, look them up in the dictionary. Then my dad and I would use that word in a sentence. I would come up with a sentence and so would he. Today it is so easy. I get a new word delivered to my inbox every single day. The good part now is that I know eighty percent of them :) And when I come across a word I do not know, I am delighted to have learnt something new.


4. If you are a student, Wren and Martin it is! :  Since many of you asked me about improving grammar, I thought I would share what my Bible was, when I was a student of English. It was Wren and Martin . It taught me all that I needed to know about grammar. By then i was reading so much that using English the right way came naturally. I would refer the book in case of doubts. Today you have so many online sites that teach you the right usage, correct your grammar, point you in the right direction. All you need to do is Google! (And not wander off to FB to check out what your friends are doing)

5.Free online courses: Coursera is a superb resource that offers FREE courses. You can take the world's best courses, online for free. How awesome is that?  If you are looking for a basic fundamental writing course, here is a link: https://www.coursera.org/course/basicwriting 
There are many more free online writing courses including one which MIT offers.


Happy writing folks!  Hope what I have said helps you all. If you liked what I have written, don't forget to leave me a comment in my comment box. 

And yes---if you are looking for a contemporary, racy, gripping read, my new book 'It happens for a reason' will be out in less than 5 weeks!

 Now, show me some love and grab it here:
 (You don't need a credit card to order. You can pay cash on delivery)
 Amazon: http://is.gd/Ithappensamazon
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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

A different perspective.




This morning when I opened  Bangalore Mirror , I found myself looking at my own picture. A little later, a reader tweeted to me a link to  Deccan Chronicle  and the publishers of two of my titles, told me that the piece was in Asian Age as well.

While I had spoken to both newspapers (To Deccan Chronicle many days back and I had forgotten about it and to Bangalore Mirror last evening) I did not think both would appear on the same day.

Whenever the newspapers carry a piece about me or my books,  I always tell my mom. Today was no different. My mom was more interested in telling me about the rains in Kerala though. She talked about how the rains had lashed her village last evening and how there was no power through out the night. We inhabit two different worlds. In her world, what is important is not in mine.

I like the stark contrasts. It gives me completely different perspectives.
 And makes me focus on what really matters---my writing.

Personally I think that  my next book is my best yet. I think which each book, one hones the skill and gets better.
I can't wait to hold the physical copy in my hand. Less than a month to go now.
I am waiting.

I wonder if you are too.
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Buy the book
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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

For this I am grateful!



And today, for this I am truly grateful.

And so very thrilled.
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