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Friendships--some stay in our hearts forever

"How do you spell 'love'?" - Piglet
"You don't spell it...you feel it." -  Winnie the Pooh"

"Friendship," said Christopher Robin, "is a very comforting thing to have."
--A.A.Milne

Some of my strongest friendships have broken even though I have given it all I had. One of them was very puzzling. She was like my soul-sister (and you think you outgrow  things like that in college). We used to meet every single day and our children got along so well too. Our children were inseparable and so were we.Then I moved cities and we still kept in touch. We called almost every single day. We laughed, we spoke and the world seemed brighter. She was my strength as I was hers. I remember her once telling me " Preeti--don't you think if we have each other we can face any darn situation in this world?"  I had agreed.

Then one fine day, she vanished from my life. Yes--it was that dramatic. She wouldn't reply to her mails. She would not answer her cell-phone. She had just changed residence and hence I did not have her new landline number.No matter how many times I tried calling there would be just no reply.I must have tried calling , texting at least a 50 times. I must have written at least 18 mails to her. I was worried.I was worried if she was okay.
I had no idea why she was avoiding me. Then I got so worried that I made a friend (who she does not know)  from another town call her. This time she picked up. But the moment the friend  mentioned my name she hung up and never answered her calls either. I made another friend call her and she did the same.(But now I knew that she was okay and well).
To say I was hurt is like saying Niagra is a waterfall. Finally, I stopped trying to get in touch with her. She still had all my numbers and my email and she could easily get in touch if she wanted.

After about three years of not being in touch with her, (by this time I had lost my father and my friend had been very fond of my father too as he had helped her in many ways.)  I contacted her again (on her cell-phone), on her birthday.By this time, my first book had become a national best-seller and I was begining to be recognised for my writing. When I called her, I never expected her to answer the phone as I had tried so many times before (and she wouldnt pick up my call).  But this time, she picked up and I wished her a happy birthday. She couldn't speak for a few minutes and then she burst out crying. Then she kept repeating over and over "Preeti, I do not deserve a friend like you." I kept asking her what had gone wrong and why she had withdrawn. She told me she would tell me everything when we meet. To this day I do not know because when we met, we hugged each other and we were so happy! Whatever had happened in the past did not truly matter anymore.

Now we are very much in touch and it is as though we were never out of touch.

I lost another very close friend due to a silly misunderstanding while I was still trying to cope with all the fame, success and adulation that came with my first book. It was a silly remark which my friend made about my book, which hurt me badly and I expressed it mincing no words. She withdrew in fear because she had never seen that part of my personality in all the years she had known me. I have apologised at least a fifty times. My friend never forgave me. She talks to me now, but very measuredly and not at all like the easy, fun-filled laughter that it used to be. I called her many times. She has not called me even once. Now I stopped calling even though I do miss her deeply. Sometimes, you just have to let go.

If there is true love, then the  friendship is indeed for life. Even animals know that instictively. 



If you do not know the story of Christian the Lion, do watch the video above. I guarantee it will not fail to inspire/move/touch you in some way. The book which has sold millions of copies is amazing too as it has vivid desciption and plenty of photos too).

On the eve of friendship day, I dedicate this post to all my true friends (they know who they are!) --the ones who are there for me, no matter what. I truly value your presence in my life and I am so darn fortunate to have you.

If you (like me) are blessed to have great friends, you're really lucky! Tell them how much you value them. Call them.NOW! :-)

Happy friendship day!
_____________________________________________________

ps: Two stories I wrote of my very good friendships have been published in 'Chicken soup for the Indian Friends soul' which is now available in all leading bookstores.




Comments

  1. Preeti- This one went straight into me! You wrote my mind, and the first story was utmost similar to mine. Yes sometimes we just let it go. Life is short so lets make it sweet sounds apt here.
    Happy Friendhsip Day to you and all
    "Making time" is a challenge but do try and catch me on my blog[sushmaspage on blogspot]
    Cheers
    Sush

    ReplyDelete
  2. True friends are a blessing for sure!!
    Happy Friendship day to you too Preeti!! Have fun!!

    -Durga

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well, I have had misunderstandings like this and I just let go, some words can be really pinching and there is no erasing that. Nice post :)

    P.S : I just completed a painting of Winnie and Pooh with the above caption, it came out very well :)

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  4. Sometimes when we let go things, it will come back... may be one day the lost friendship will flew back... Happy friendship day!!

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  5. Anonymous8:23 PM

    This touched my heart so! Been in a situation like the first...still left wondering.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Happy Friendship Day Preeti :)

    Some friends come , some go, but only few stay with you for a long time to come.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nice article about the value of true friendship..

    True friends are really a blessing in disguise to tide over the difficult times...
    Happy Friendship day to you....Preethi madam....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Happy endings are not only for love stories:) I'm glad your first friend realizes the value of friendship.
    'no matter what' - those are the key words na. Everything else comes later.

    I have one, but I'm the villain in this story, I have let her down so many times:( But I plan to make it up to her soon.

    Happy Friendship Day Madame.

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  9. What a beautiful post. The story about the mysterious friendship dissolution is intense. Communication! Is it a woman thing or what? I honestly don't know. I'm so happy that things turned out for the better.
    Thanks for sharing the lion video-it captures my heart right away.

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  10. Wish you a very happy friendship day
    Mrs.Shenoy.
    Whatever happens in friendship is beyond words and totally irreplaceable.
    cheers!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have watched the video before and it was so amazingly touching. Thank you for sharing it here.

    I hope to keep coming back here!

    Kunal

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great post! I recently had an experience with a friendship seven years old. No reply to my mails, cutting calls to the cell. Well I guess we accept that and move on. Thank you Preeti, reading this really helped.

    ReplyDelete
  13. A broken friendship is a scar forever. There should be an effort from both the end to mend it.Friendship is something which we cannot easily let go off..but many don't understand it , there is no need of ego or pride to go and apologize for a wrong word which we let out in a moment.

    Happy Friendship Day to all!

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  14. Happy Friendship Day Preeti

    ReplyDelete
  15. Happy Friendship Day Preeti. Lovely post. The video is fantastic - I've watched it so many times before but watched it again and smiled :).

    Hope all is well with you and the family....the last 3-4 weeks were very busy and I was not able to browse much...did read your posts though.....back to a somewhat normal life from tomorrow onwards...

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  16. Happy friendship day ... and to all your friends ..

    Bikram's

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  17. Dear Preeti, Happy friendship day. I have just read your first book. It was a pleasure to read it.

    God bless you with more good friends.

    ReplyDelete
  18. May I ask what did you imply by the "By this time, my first book had become a national best-seller and I was begining to be recognised for my writing" in your first incident? Did you mean that your friend picked up your call this time because you were now getting recognized?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi preeti,
    ur post really moved me to tears as the same thing has happened to me. Despite of trying several times, she couldn't spare some time to meet even we live few kilometers away!! And it's really not difficult if one truly wishes to spare time. In addition, no phone calls no reply against my messages and just everything that u have mentioned here.

    I have finally accepted her exit from my life and not expecting to see her again. Sometimes u jst have to let them go.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Bhavika: Yes--one has to just let go. if its a true friendship it will survive.

    Shalaka: of course not!!! My friend would never do that! Nor will I even think of it even in my wildest dreams! How my words are misinterpreted in a way I never even thought!

    Santosh:Thanks a ton.

    Bikram: same to you.

    Shachi: yes I have been busy too.

    Ketan,Horizon: Same to you.

    Sundari: very true!

    Bimal: I guess it happens to the best of us and people who throw away great friendships truly do not deserve them!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Kunal: thanks and welcome to my world :)

    Prabhakaran: please call me preeti :) Thanks :)

    Journalwithsue: Thanks so much!

    Priyanka and karthink: Same to you!

    Aathira: very true.

    Nilu: Best to accept and move on even though its really hard.

    Sivapaurnami: I hope it does!

    Nandana: Yes it does hurt but what can one do?!

    Durga: happy friensdhip day to you too!

    Sushma: :) Will try..very hard pressed for time.Happy friendship day to you.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dear Preeti,

    Thanks for sharing this video and blog. The story of Christian really goes straight to heart.

    and you are a wonderful person.

    Cheers,

    Megha

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous11:02 AM

    The visit was useful. Content was really very informative. From www.rightbooks.in

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous7:47 PM

    Dear Preeti

    I have also experienced something similar to what you have shared. Though there was nothing wrong from my side, I apologized to them so that I should not lose the friendship which I had preserved for years.I know they are hurt by my reaction to the fight we had. Is not forgiving something closer to Godliness??When I have chosen to forgive them for what all they did, why are they not ready to reciprocate it?

    As u said, friendship is indeed for life.

    But there is no point in begging for pardon, even when someone is not ready to value it and exhibit a cavalier attitude towards us.

    Let me know if my attitude is right!

    Awaiting your reply

    Keerthi

    ReplyDelete

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