Make yourself happy today (blog marathon post 23)
Today I read a well-written piece by Kavitha Rao which made me want to stand up and applaud her --Why Indian women are never taught to be alone and why that is a problem.
Some time back I had read a piece 30 things every woman should have and know by the time she is 30. I so loved that piece too.
The thing about Indian women, most of us are taught to put our husbands and children first. Today was one of the extremely rare days that I watched TV for 30 minutes. (Usually I cannot stand watching for more than 5 minutes). I was watching Two and a Half Men, and in between, during the commercial break, I happened to watch a few ads. One of them showed a husband and a child, sleeping in bed with a woman, and in the middle of the night, they wake up coughing. The woman immediately jumps up and applies Vicks on them and they instantly feel better. What about her sleep? Isn't that important?
There was another advert--I forget what product it was---where two hungry children who must be 12 and 14, run back from whatever activity they were doing and the woman is standing right there with a hot meal, waiting to serve them. That's expected of an Indian woman, you see--she is their mom after all. Noone asks her how she is, whether she wants something, how her day went or anything like that. Agreed this is a 30 second commercial--but the point I am making is the mindset behind it.
My book The Secret Wishlist struck a chord with many many Indian women. I have mails from hundreds of Indian women who wrote in saying I had crawled into their heads and written their stories.
I think three decades ago, when Indian parents raised their girl-child, they built in the guilt factor. They were indirectly taught to 'adjust'. to 'feel guilty about expressing their needs' and to 'keep everyone happy'.
Here is the thing: Unless you are happy, you won't be able to give any happiness to anyone. You need to take care of yourself first. You need to look after yourself, before you can give.
If you have a special woman in your life, who makes your world brighter, appreciate her today.
And if you are that woman, give yourself a pat on the back, and do something just for yourself today---not for your child, not for your husband, not for your parents, but just for you.
It is only YOU who can make you happy.
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