A tale of two sea-horses (blog marathon post 21)

Every Saturday, in the Financial Chronicle, my column Sex and the city appears. To write this I research quite a bit and today I discovered about sea horses. Did you know that in sea horses, it is the males who carry the babies? The females deposit their eggs in the male's pouch and he carries them till they are ready to hatch.

After I wrote my column (I have a deadline of Wednesday.And I am proud to say that I have been writing this column for nearly two years now and I have never missed a deadline) I sat back and imagined a scenario between two sea-horses meeting at a bar, and decided to write a dialogue between them, just for fun and to amuse myself. After I wrote it, I couldn't stop chuckling :)  and so I decided to share it here.


Here's  what I wrote:

Deep down in the pacific ocean,between the coral reefs, two sea-horses meet at the sea-weed bar. She is nursing a blue-algae margarita while he walks up to her. She looks at him and looks away, pretending to be disinterested. She is checking him out with the corner of her eye though. He notices and walks up to her.

‘Wanna come back to my cave? Yay or neigh?’ he says.

She instantly arches up her spine and sits up a bit more straight on the coral reef bar-stool.

‘Excuse me! I have heard far better lines than those.’

But he is not one to be deterred easily.

‘I have a nice tight pouch. And I don’t charge too much,’ he tries again.

‘ Charge? I am not in the market for pouches.Pouches don’t interest me much. Seen too many.’

Her reply is  a bit too quick.

‘Ok, let’s go dancing then? You have a nice tail..was checking it out when you swam in.’

‘Hahahaha. What kind of dance do you do?’

'The horse trot. It’s like the fox trot, but for sea-horses. I’ll teach you. If you’re lucky you may even get to see my pouch later.”

‘I work in the International academy of horse dancing. I would teach YOU.But I don’t think you can afford me, mister. And I don’t wanna see no pouches.’

‘So dance just to dance? I want to practice our mating ritual!’

‘Ummmm...nah, Not interested. I come here to wind down. Dancing is work for me,’
Ms.sea horse starts checking out other horses at the algae bar.

‘What’s your favorite sex position?’

‘Why would I want to tell you that?’

Mr. Sea horse downs his seventh shot.

‘I LIKE HORSIE STYLE..IT’S LIKE DOGGIE STYLE BUT FOR US.’

Ms.seahorse gets up and bolts.And looks at the bouncer (an orca whale) and gestures to him with her eyes.

Bouncer steps in.

She swims for her life, swishing her cute tail furiously, getting away as fast as she can.

Mr. Seahorse is bewildered. Asks his male friends why he can’t get any tail.The last I heard he was still asking.

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If you find it as funny as I did--- despite saying so myself---do leave me a comment.  I take comments instead of cash for making you laugh :) And as an incentive for comments, I pay you back with more such posts!
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