Random rants--Ten things that annoy me.

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Mostly this blog is about positivity, laughter, living life to the fullest and all good things. Rarely, very rarely, do you find rants here.

I am no Buddha even though I have learnt to smile Buddha-like at most things. Yeah, sixteen years of marriage, two kids, one husband and a very large dog does that to you. :)

But myths must be shattered and so I thought I'd post ten of my pet peeves--stuff that makes me see red and takes away that cloak of Buddha-ness and turns me into a shade of the colour you get when you cross a Cruella de Vil with Miranda priestly, mostly in a non-lesbian sense. (Stop salivating, all you men out there and some women too. Heh heh)

Here are ten things that irk me in no particular order really.(but hey, they had to be numbered and arranged in some order). And fortunately for me at no point in time do my one husband, two kids or one very large dog indulge in any of the following :-)

1.People who talk loudly and pass comments while watching a movie at a multiplex.

I told off a burly looking Sardar who couldn’t keep his mouth shut when I watched ‘Ladies versus Ricki behl’ and to my surprise he cowered down and obliged by stuffing his mouth with pop-corn and not speaking for the rest of the duration of the movie. I should have done it sooner. Had the  offender not listened to me, there was nothing I could have done—except maybe put him in a book and killed him.

Ha! I knew it—there has to be some advantage of being a writer.

2.Gluttony and bad table manners

It somehow puts me off. People who eat with their mouths open and some people who eat like there is going to be a famine in the next few hours and some other people who seem to have the appetite of Ghatotkacha and a bulging belly to match are a big turn off for me. Eat to live not live to eat—that is what will score you brownie points—which will be taken away if you gobble all the twelve brownies ;-)

3. SMS lingo

Ppl hu cnt b bthred 2 type prply do nt dsrve 2 be rd.

Aaaaargh! I have worked myself up trying to type the above! Use the T9En option people! I got  mails, full bodied e-mails written in the above lingo. I refuse to even read them. You want to me reply, at least make that effort to write properly.

4. People who say “I have been soooooo busy. Let me see if I can catch up with you in Feb/March or maybe June” (substitute a date which is 3 or more months later) when you invite them over.

If you have been busy, I have been busier! Go take a hike! Fact is all of us are equally busy. If something is important to you, you WILL make time for it, no matter what. If someone does not call you or someone does not want to keep in touch, it is not because they are soooooo busy—it is simply because you aren’t important enough for them to ‘make time’ to talk you. I refuse to buy the “I am too busy” excuse.

 If you are so busy, so be it! There are some of us, less busy folks ;-)

5. People who break promises or do not keep up their word.

Call me childish or old fashioned but I do think keeping up one’s word does mean something. I hate people who promise to be there for you but tuck their tail and run at the first hint of ‘trouble’. I hate people who do not mean what they say and who just say it for the sake of saying it.

6. Bad body odour and personal hygiene.

Gosh! What can I say?  You do not have to use an expensive Versace (ooh, I do love that fragrance) but people who smell are a huge turn off for me. Can’t you bathe (even with an ordinary Hamam soap is ok!) and wear clean clothes? My house help (who is an elderly lady who must be around fifty) turns up everyday for work in pristinely clean clothes and neatly combed hair and a smile on her face. I do appreciate it hugely.

So when I see people who sometimes turn up for work with gunk in the eyes and eye crusties—that is a gigantic YUCK from me. I will definitely run a mile. Actually twenty miles.

7. People who make remarks about my accent or way of speaking and then try to ‘guess’ which part of India I am from.

I constantly moved as a child and have studied in various Kendriya Vidyalayas all over India. I speak seven languages and I can read and write in three of them. When a person listens to me accent and then says ‘Oh, your accent sounds like you are from ___________” (insert whatever state they presume), I truly feel like slapping them hard and telling them that making a personal comment like that is downright rude! Respond to whatever I am saying instead of commenting on my accent! (and yeah if you want to hear what I sound like you can listen to my radio indigo interview)

I am unapologetic about my accent. For the record, I can do a Brit accent and an American accent too but I prefer my own :-) My Brit friends have no problems understanding anything I say in my own accent and I will stick to it till the day I take up a job in a call centre :P :) .

8. People who do not take care of books and people who ask to borrow my books.

I do not lend my books. If I have to borrow books, I borrow only from the library and I have no qualms about refusing to lend. I do take very good care of my books. I value them, I treasure them. I detest people who handle books badly, use their saliva to turn pages (YUCK) and fold the pages instead of using bookmarks. They truly should be banned from reading! How dare they?!

9. People who judge others without ever walking in their shoes.

I know some people who pass judgments on others without ever really trying to look at it from the other person’s point of view. Of course apart from obviously heinous crimes there are so many shades of gray in life. It is never black or white. There is never ‘completely right’ or ‘completely wrong’. No matter how thin you slice it there are always two sides.

10. People who steal and copy and also people pass off good lines as their own on social networking sites.

Some people put famous lines from books without even mentioning the book or author and pretend they made it up. Recently someone used a line from the book Shantaram without mentioning it was by Gregory Davids or without even mentioning the book.

I have a problem with dimwits who do this.I love quotes and I don’t mind someone putting up an inspiring quote provided they mention who said it or which movie it is from.

I also abhor plagiarists and if you say imitation is a form of flattery I would rather not be flattered!

So these are my pet peeves.  What are yours? :)

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ps:  My third book will be out in Feb. Follow my FB page for details. 

Addendum: Totally loved this comment by Suma:

Preeti, uff the perks of being an author, people don't want you to have peeves any more...

I see from the comments, that there are a few who don't agree with your rant, but as far i understand, this post was about something which YOU disliked.

it's like saying that you hate the color green and you have 10 people insisting that you should like green because it is such an environmentally cool color!

erm..coming back to the post, most peeves are mine too, I also hate it when i tell people my name and they mostly extend it to more than it is!