When money does not count.

This morning splashed across the pages of one of the National papers was the picture of a multi millionaire and his flamboyant lifestyle. The article mentioned how he had a fleet of mighty machines that included names like Triumph Rocket III, Harley Davidson, MV Augusta, A Carrera Porsche, Audi and Ferrari 612 Scaglietti apart from a few BMWs. The Media always highlights the lives of the ‘Rich and famous’, there being shows on television entirely devoted to prying into their lives.

It sets me thinking. Why are we wealth obsessed as a Society? Does more money equal more happiness? Right from our childhood we are brainwashed into believing that success is equal to wealth. When the management graduates finish their courses at the IIMs (Indian Institute of Management) the media screams about starting salaries that run into crores of rupees. The ultimate Indian middle class dream for their children, seems to be to get into an IIT—IIM that will ensure that ‘their lives are made’. The competition is intense (Each year more than 3 lakh of students compete with each other for about 3980 seats for the IIT Joint entrance exam and kids are pushed into preparing for it right from 9th grade.) Those who make it into these Institutes are the ‘Elite’ and the others are ‘Lesser mortals’.

Fast forward 20 years. Most of the young trainees are now ‘successful’ head honchos in large corporate houses, or have set up their own ventures and doing really well.(Doing well again being judged by the money that you make) Most of their lives revolve around work. Most of them have kids but no time to watch them grow. Travel is a part of the job, and most of the executives spend at least 15-20 days away from home, attending meetings in different countries. If the wives too are working, then the children are sent to crèches (really good crèches that provide a ‘homely atmosphere’ they proclaim.) or an army of maids take care of them. The parents justify it saying they are spending ‘quality time’ on weekends. (Personally I think ‘Quality time’ is a myth. The child when spotting a butterfly sipping nectar or a rainbow wants to share the moment right then. Later, when the parents are available, it is not important anymore.)

Most of the people in the high positions are lost without their work identity. Their work defines them. “I am Verma. I head Finance at XYZ Bank.” is how most introduce themselves. They forget who they really are. They have forgotten their hobbies long back. (If they play a sport, it is usually Golf or Squash—upwardly mobile, you see) They lead busy lives, network are seen at the right places at the right times and are ‘successful’.

At least 6 couples I know lead the above mentioned life and I know for a fact that out of the six, four of their wives cheat on them.(Who knows what the husbands must be doing—I only know about the wives and luckily none of them read my blog.) It is sad to see the way they have drifted apart—two people who were once in love, and dreamt of happily ever after, now living as strangers under the same roof, in the guise of being husband and wife. I had recently written an article for a National magazine and had interviewed a family counselor and a life skills coach who has more than 15 years of experience in the field. What he said left an impact on my mind—“There is only one main reason why families break down and that is lack of communication.” And then again when he said “In the 21^st century the biggest epidemic is going to be loneliness and the only vaccination is a strong family bond.”

No matter how much money you make, nothing can replace the loving relationship you share with your spouse. Your children (and your spouse) will love you far more and you will have a meaningful relationship only if you spend that all important commodity—TIME WITH THEM. What is the use of all the fancy vacations and designer labels if you cannot connect with your family?

A good friend (who incidentally happens to be an IIT-IIM product) sent me this video that he really liked---and I loved it too.

Watch it—and tell me what you feel.( and hope you have a GREAT weekend--spending time with the ones you love!)

NOTE: This post DOES NOT draw any corelation between educational qualification and cheating.The point I am trying to make is that in pursuit of Wealth, we are spending less and less time with our families which lead to unhappy homes.