Skip to main content

Make yourself happy today (blog marathon post 23)



Today I read a well-written piece by Kavitha Rao which made me want to stand up and applaud her --Why Indian women are never taught to be alone and why that is a problem.

Some time back I had read a piece 30 things every woman should have and know by the time she is 30.  I so loved that piece too.

The thing about Indian women, most of us are taught to put our husbands and children first. Today was one of the extremely rare days that I watched TV for 30 minutes. (Usually I cannot stand watching for more than 5 minutes). I was watching Two and a Half Men, and in between, during the commercial break, I happened to watch a few ads. One of them showed a husband and a child, sleeping in bed with a woman, and in the middle of the night, they wake up coughing. The woman immediately jumps up and applies Vicks on them and they instantly feel better. What about her sleep? Isn't that important?
There was another advert--I forget what product it was---where two hungry children who must be 12 and 14, run back from whatever activity they were doing and the woman is standing right there with a hot meal, waiting to serve them. That's expected of an Indian woman, you see--she is their mom after all. Noone asks her how she is, whether she wants something, how her day went or anything like that. Agreed this is a 30 second commercial--but the point I am making is the mindset behind it.

My book The Secret Wishlist struck a chord with many many Indian women. I have mails from hundreds of Indian women who wrote in saying I had crawled into their heads and written their stories.

I think three decades ago, when Indian parents raised their girl-child, they built in the guilt factor. They were indirectly taught to 'adjust'. to  'feel guilty about expressing their needs' and to 'keep everyone happy'.

Here is the thing: Unless you are happy, you won't be able to give any happiness to anyone. You need to take care of yourself first. You need to look after yourself, before you can give.

If you have a special woman in your life, who makes your world brighter, appreciate her today.
And if you are that woman, give yourself a pat on the back, and do something just for yourself today---not for your child, not for your husband, not for your parents, but just for you.

It is only YOU who can make you happy.
________________________________________________


Like what you read?
Buy my books, you will love them:   http://is.gd/preetibooks
 Get my latest non-fiction book on relationships at just Rs.175/- : Bit.ly/WhyWeLoveTheWayWeDo


Comments

  1. Nobody thinks about her.even it's hard to thank her for what she does.they can't survive a day without her.It's a thankless job,her duty till death.and still she's just housewife.but it's a fact,she works much harder than men.this is male chauvinist society,i really doubt woman can do whatever that makes her happy.she feels satisfied working for everyone.coz this is what she has been taught

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nobody thinks about her.even it's hard to thank her for what she does.they can't survive a day without her.It's a thankless job,her duty till death.and still she's just housewife.but it's a fact,she works much harder than men.this is male chauvinist society,i really doubt woman can do whatever that makes her happy.she feels satisfied working for everyone.coz this is what she has been taught

    ReplyDelete
  3. Even working women are chastised when they come after working long hours, try to relax with a cup of tea and read the news or something. They are accused of dependency if they seek another person's help to get breakfast and lunch ready before heading out to work. Women on the whole are treated like robotic housemaids and its going to take really long for that to change.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Having a 'standalone' spirit is important. I completely agree that one has to be happy herself so as to spread happiness around. A happy person would never wish to hurt anyone. Striving to be happy everyday is a real challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Completely agree on: It is only YOU who can make you happy. However the time is changing and Women are the key ones for brining this positive change. #HatsOff #Respect #WomanPower

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, loved that wonderful piece by Kavitha! True and thought-provoking that was. A must read for every Indian woman.

    And, very well said about seeking 'YOUR' own happiness.

    For Vicks ad, it's natural, waking up I mean. Keep on sleeping when your loved ones are whimpering/coughing in pain is not'living for yourself'. It's being careless or insensitive, no? Even they should care when you are in pain, no matter what time is that.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The problem lies with the kind of education where we teach and expect women to behave in a certain way which bolsters patriarchal mindset. I owe a lot to Maa and special women who came into my life, teaching me so much.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really enjoyed reading the article by Kavitha Rao as well as "30 things every woman should have and know by the time she is 30." As I have passed this age, I realize that there are still a lot of those things which I still do not know! :-( I hope I can get to know about them over the next one year.

    When I was growing up, I always had my parents around so when I grew up, it was initially difficult to do things as I was not used to doing them alone. But gradually, I learned how to adjust and get things done.

    I have always felt that if I am happy in life I will be able to make others happy. There were times where I was extremely disappointed in myself and I did not want to face people knowing that they would keep asking me questions as to what had happened. So at the end of the day, it is always better to take care of oneself, ensure that we are happy, and then try to help others.

    The most special woman in my life is my mom who always puts others before herself, helps others without being told and ensures that others are fed/taken care of before she is. I am very grateful to God for giving me a mom like her. I know that I could never repay her for what all she has done/is doing/will do. Thanks, Mom!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your leaving a comment! Okay--I appreciate your leaving a comment if you have something nice to say ;-)

Popular posts from this blog

Ten things nobody told you about being an author

1. People you don't know will love you such a lot.





2. People you don't know will hate you.





3. You will travel to places you never dreamt you could go.





4.The places you travel to, will include those places inside your head you never want to visit.





5.People will mistakenly think something you write is about them.





6. You will offend people.





7.You will lose friends.





8. You will discover that the friends you lost weren't really friends in the first place.





9.You will  never have bad experiences. They just turn into writing ideas.




10. You will become a curious observer of the human race. (oh wait! You already were!)



______________________________
Buy my latest book: http://preeti.io/a100lf
Check out the reviews!

Lots of me! An update of what I have been upto, the last two weeks.

Over the last two weeks, I have spent more time in planes, airports, cars and hotel rooms than I have at home. To say that it has been awfully hectic would understating it.
I have been travelling. A LOT. Those of you who follow my Instagram feed, would  know that I had been to Mumbai, Delhi and Jammu over the last two weeks.

In Mumbai, I had an interview with Sonali Bendre. She runs a book club called Sonali's Book Club. They pick up a book, read it, and then discuss it. I was overjoyed that she found my book fascinating. We had an in-depth conversation about the book. It was easily one of the best interviews i have had.
It was live on Facebook as well as Instagram.
In case you missed it, do watch it below:





I also had a live interaction with Midday, and FirstPost.
That was fun as well. You can watch the Firstpost one below:




In Delhi, I had a lovely interaction with InUth. They asked me if I like Durjoy or Ravinder. You can see what i answered in the below video :)


I also had se…

A Hundred Little Flames - Chapter 1

There were two completely unrelated incidents that happened on Sunday, which would change Ayan’s life forever.

1. He attended an office party thrown by his boss in a swanky uptown pub in Pune.
2.More than a thousand miles away, in a small village in Kerala, not identifiable by Google Maps, his grandfather had a fall.

On Monday morning, unaware of anything but the clock on his computer ticking, Ayan took a sip of the horrendous office tea with over-boiled tea leaves, too much milk and sugar. He had only forty-five minutes left before the meeting was to begin. Beads of perspiration trickled down his forehead into his eye, and he blinked. His brow furrowed, he sat hunched, with an ache in his neck, his fingers flying across the keyboard. He felt as though somebody was raining blows inside his head. His throat was parched despite the tea, and now his stomach began to feel queasy as well.
He regretted having that fourth tequila last night. But Randhir had insisted. You can hardly…