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When Friends walk away


It has happened to all of us at one point of time or the other.Friends have been unresponsive or failed to come through, for no apparent reason. Sometimes it happens when you need them the most.Yet they choose to be silent.
It happened to me after my Dad’s death. I was hurting and needed to talk. A person whom I considered a good friend suddenly stopped communicating. She lives in Australia and whenever both of us were online she used to never miss a chance to IM me and we used to chat.After my dad’s death, and after I sent her a message informing her of the same, she suddenly stopped replying to my messages, would always appear offline and never bothered to even reply back or send a condolence message. The same thing happened with another person I consider a good friend. Suddenly there are no replies to text messages,(despite communicating that I have been trying to contact), phone calls are unanswered and not returned.There is complete indifference or it is feigned. I wonder why people do that. Is it because they do not know what to say? Or is it because of things going on in their own lives?
Whatever it is, I find it difficult to accept such behavior. May be it is because I would personally never do it. and I judge everybody by the same high standards that I have set. May be these are what they call the “fair weather friends” --the ones who laugh with you when things are okay but choose to turn away the moment you have something sad. The good thing is that one knows who one’s true friends are. and one feels doubly grateful to have such true friends.The bad thing is that it makes you feel like such a fool to have judged people so wrongly. One finds it hard to accept that one was so na├»ve.The worst thing is that it still hurts.
Found this piece which I felt was a beautiful one. Will do us good to remember it and remind ourselves that it is not our fault when friends walk away.
Reason, Season, or Lifetime--By: Brian A. "Drew" Chalker
What are you??? Are you a Reason a Season or a Lifetime?Pay attention to what you read. After you read this, you will know the reason it was sent to you! People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.When someone is in your life for a REASON. . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
THANK YOU for being a part of my life.
Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt,
and dance like no one is watching.
The picture is an original abstract work which I did sometime back.The human figure running behind the flower shaped kite, represents the futility of trying to hold on to relationships which are fragile.In the other panel,the rope continuing signifies that there are others, whose ties are more soild and therefore more deserving or worthy.Do leave a comment if you liked this painting :-) .Most people do not understand abstract work,therefore the 'artist's explanation' :-)

Comments

  1. I had a "break up" with a very close friend a few years ago -- it was very hard to understand and hard to deal with. I was upset for YEARS after. And it wasn't entirely her fault, I had some fault in it too.

    The picture is good -- very thought provoking...

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  2. Am glad you liked the picture.Thank you.

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  3. the piece on "Friends breaking ties or not being there when u need them most " followed by the piece By brian A "Drew" Chalker gives us the perfect answer as to why some friends are the way they are...'cos what we need are lifetime friends & if we are blessed to get them them thats all that matters ...'cos no matter how many "friends for a reason"or "for a season conme" we can never hurt again when they leave if our Lifetime friends are therefor us no matter where they are.


    The abstract painting gave a food forthought to analyse the significance of the painting fronm the painters point of view & in future at least I may try to look sincerely for adeeper message in apainting which would have just received acursory glance from me if it is abstract. The meaning conveyed is very beautiful & apt for today's Human relationships.

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  4. A lot of times in the past, friends have hurt me for reasons I never understood...and everytime I made a promise to myself that I would learn to be smart enough not to let anybody hurt me..... but recently I realised that maybe some of us are born suckers.... someone I considered a true friend turned out to be a social climber and a user. But guess what!! she managed to fool me, but not hurt me!! At last I have conquered 'hurt'.

    Your painting stimulates the mind, and needless to say, your talent is unbelievable! I feel privileged to know someone like you!!

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  5. Anonymous6:09 PM

    liked the blog. though the fragile relationships (maybe the ones for a reason) at one point seemed to be the ones for the 'lifetime' so can't really figure out which one is the 'flower' and which the 'rope' :-) and it is sad to realize it later that the then 'lifetime' relationship was actually a for just a reason...did i make sense...maybe not :-)

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  6. Anonymous6:10 PM

    liked the blog. though the fragile relationships (maybe the ones for a reason) at one point seemed to be the ones for the 'lifetime' so can't really figure out which one is the 'flower' and which the 'rope' :-) and it is sad to realize it later that the then 'lifetime' relationship was actually a for just a reason...did i make sense...maybe not :-)

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  7. I linked this post
    Hope u dont mind

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  8. aww PS HUGGGGGGGGGZ! She did that to u? And when u needed her the most! How sad that some ppl cant u'stand what FRIENDSHIP really is. Did she ever contact u after that?

    Keshi.

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  9. Hi Preethi,

    Your posts are great! Only recently, my friend told me about your blog and I read the recent posts. I liked them a lot and thought I could go through your older posts as well. Your very second post, that was what I wanted at this point. I am following it for the last two days. Hopefully, I would feel that my life is richer, at the end. :) My best wishes to you for your book and all your other endeavors! :)

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  10. what i understood abt paintin was... a person tries to hold onto beautiful, soothing and happiness giving t hings in life. but at some or other point, it has to go and somethin(chain like thing in pic) cuts ur happiness(not all the happiness.. but some or other thing) away frm u... so its inevitable. it has to be like it. and you have to accept it. umm.. i dunno how i have explained it.. but its like, you gottta take things positively. and take it as a normal thing, whteva happens. you may get hurt, but dun let tht hurt over come u so much as to suffocate u.. jss let it go.. simple :)
    i also read ur version of explanation. even tht matches with tht.
    anyway, abstract surely has multiple meanings.
    peace.

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  11. i think all of us have come across these "fair weather friends" .. when you need them the most, they just prefer to remain silent! but the best part is you get to know who are your true friends

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  12. Hi Preeti,
    I hope you don't mind me calling you by your first name since I'm ages younger to you. Anyway, I came across your blog today.. Read this post of yours.. Liked it very much.. I've had a similar experience at one point in my life. But of course, the situation was different. Keep up the good work. By the way, I'm taking a plunge into blogging now. I've been on blogger.com since October 2006 but I was not serious about it at that time. I've deleted all my previous posts and decided to start afresh. Please visit it and give your feedback if possible. http://midnightguide.blogspot.com
    Thanks and Regards,
    Kapil

    ReplyDelete
  13. lovely picture! and lovelier post!

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  14. It seems this article is what I was looking for exact last 6 years. I dont think it is just a coincidence that I happened to read this article on a boxing day, the day I felt first signs of cracks in one of the most beautiful relationship I had in my life.

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  15. Hi Preeti,

    Love this line " The bad thing is that it makes you feel like such a fool to have judged people so wrongly ". I literally judged a person wrongly and going through tough time.... it really hurts like hell.

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  16. Hi Preeti ..Iam been following your blog for quite sometime .. it is full of positivity in life. I lost my dad on March 17th 2011... He succumbed to kidney failure , which he had fought for 8 long years . Not one but many people turned away from me in these 8 years... just because they dint want to listen to sad stories about dialysis and things like that.. but many more became so close who could actually understand what I was going through . your blogs have given me courage and strength to get over the grief... Thanks a ton for writing so beautifully ...God bless you n your family . Do tc, Tracy

    ReplyDelete

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