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How social media dimishes the depth of our interactions (post 7)

One of my closest friends (we have been friends since we were 10) lost her mother last month. I have mentioned it in my earlier posts. She and I were talking just now, about how death of our loved ones leave an irreplaceable void in our lives.
Every memory now on, every thing we do, every success we achieve will always be tinged with sadness, as they aren't there to witness it. People will say things like 'Oh they are there with you, they are watching you from heaven' etc. But it's just not the same.

A loss is a loss.

One of the things I find these days is that people find it so easy to leave 'sad' emoticons on facebook. Someone announces the death of their parent, and many condolence messages come pouring in. It's easy. Click a button. Write a few words like 'stay strong', 'RIP' ,'Sorry for your loss' etc and it's done. You are off, scrolling to see the next funny video, or reading someone else's status message.

In many ways social media makes us less social. More alone. More isolated.

One of the main characters in my book, Ayan, experiences this and realises the true extent of it, when circumstances force him to move to a tiny village in Kerala, where there isn't even Internet.



I do believe we all benefit a great deal if we put away our phones. This deliberate staying away opens up other spaces inside out minds, which are otherwise occupied by mindless surfing through feeds.
 
Put away the phones and read.
In fact, stop reading this right now, and go pick up a book.
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Comments

  1. A loss is a loss. It's just not the same. You're right. But, even people in your life (friends, neighbours and even relatives) do the same - say a few words of consolation & expressing their sadness, and move on. Can't blame them. Everyone has their own life, their own excitement & happiness, woes & worries. People may understand your pain but no one can share that. Your pain is yours, yours alone.

    Congratulations & best wishes for your new book! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much Tarang!
      When people take the trouble to come and visit you, be with you, offer condolences, bring food for you, show you that they care, it is very different from just posting a message on social media and moving on. That is what I meant to say.

      Delete
    2. Well, you're right. You can't compare random messages (on social media) with the caring attitude of people around you. I think this thing cannot be debated, people have different people/experiences in their lives. And, their opinion are based on them.

      Even though, I have limited presence on social media platform (Not on Insta or Facebook (just a page that nobody likes :)) & never share my personal woes online, I have realized that genuine & fake people exist everywhere - both in real life & on social media platforms. Some messages that I receive on Social Media are so genuine and heartfelt that they give me solace. Some become friends, ready to help or listen to you, always. Whereas, some people in real life are so fake (sometimes, close ones) or misleading that you just want to disconnect but cannot (you can do this on social media at least). Many people who do certain things for you, make you feel good at that particular time, but later, they make you feel indebted, showing again & again what they have done for you.

      I'm glad you don't have such people in your life. Stay blessed. Best wishes, always. And, sorry for this post-sized comment. :)

      Delete
  2. When it comes to the mobile phone, I am a big addict. There are times where I am whatsapping and eating my dinner = Well, not when the table is filled with people, but when I am alone. I know this habit has to stop. The first step in keeping my phone aside is my keeping it aside on Sundays so that I can spend time with my family and friends. As time goes on, I hope the amount of time I use the phone decreases. Like you have mentioned before, there are so many other things to do than be on the phone the whole time!

    The social media has become a part of us so much that you can say it runs deep in our blood stream. Just this morning when I had logged into Facebook, I found a post from a Facebook friend whose grandmother had passed away. I wrote a condolence message and signed off. Now come to think of it, I think it will be better if I call and speak to her later. Thanks for this post, Preeti!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey prathima,
      Yes, please do call her up and speak to her. If she is in the same town, visit her. Trust me she will appreciate that more than a message.
      In our home, no phones are allowed at meal time. We have made a rule 'No phones at the dining table' and we eat our meals together.
      Also, no phones at restaurants, no phones during 'family time'.
      I think it is important, as then you have conversations, face to face.

      Delete
  3. Truely said ..i have also became a phone addict nowadays .I spend most of the day in my phone and waste time which i can spend with my family.

    When me and my friends go in our college's garden to spend some time together in the lap of nature even then all of us are holding our mobile phones in our hand spending time on social media with virtual friends.
    We seriously have to change this.

    ReplyDelete

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