Thursday, January 29, 2015

5 ways to make you feel good about yourself, when you communicate

A few days ago, my daughter gently admonished me for being very matter-of-fact when I reply to people on social media, or when I text people. She said I was like Sheldon Cooper.

This is how I responded to that on my author page on Facebook

The last I checked, the post had got more than 1296 'likes'.

Of course I was joking in the above post.

 But it did  set me thinking though. I think it is very important to keep in mind a few things  when we communicate with others, especially when one is writing/texting/ messaging on viber/whatsapp or whatever IM you use.
Whether you use a lot of smileys and emoticons or whether you are Sheldon-Cooperish I think the following 5 things will go a long way, in making you feel good about yourself, when you communicate.


1.Mean what you say: When a friend texts and asks you for a favour and you are too busy, don't feel bad to refuse. It is okay! It is better to give a realistic picture and say no rather than give a false commitment which makes you feel resentful later.

2.Don't try to please everyone always: I had read somewhere that if you try to please everyone, you will end up pleasing noone. This, I can vouch is true. Keep an inner circle. Even in the inner circle, there will be times when you cannot please everyone there.
3.Minimise/avoid short forms or sms lingo: You may argue that there is nothing wrong with short form or sms lingo. And that language is evolving and changing. And that what was considered normal English in Shakespeare's time is redundant now. But to me, sms lingo is pure laziness, especially when we have touch screen phones that suggest what the word should be. Also there are sms plans where you send unlimited messages for something as low as 99/- per month. So where is the excuse? If you are lazy in your simple act of communication, I think the lackadaisical attitude is bound to permeate to other facets too. Little things do make a difference.

4. You do not have to respond to everything : There will be rants. There will be people who only rant. There will be people who just need you to dump their negativity. You can choose to step aside and let them revel in the drama they create. You do not have to respond to everything and be there for everyone always. It is okay to choose to not participate, if it is affecting you negatively. Sometimes you say it best when you say nothing at all :)

5.They don't have time? You don't either! Value yourself : Oh there are some who never ever have time for you. Life for them is always 'too busy' and 'too many things'. If you find yourself always communicating more than you should, if you are beginning to feel the strain of a one way effort, step back. Even if you are tempted don't get back into it. Allow them to show you that they are interested in the relationship/friendship too. It cannot always be a one-way effort.

The above are things I follow, which make me feel good about the way I communicate. If you feel they are useful to you too, adapt them.

And may you never run out of things to say and may you always have the warmth of a true friendship!
*********************************************

ps: I will be at the Times of India lit fest in bangalore on Jan 31st, 3.30 pm at Jayamahal palace.
 It will be a wonderful session. Come!

Here is what it is about:





14 comments:

  1. I concur with all of the above - especially with #3 (it's been one of my pet peeves).

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not really agree on everything as ma mesg indicates. Too :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *choke..gasp..splutter*.. Excuse me for a bit please. :-)

      Delete
  3. Well said mam,"But to me, sms lingo is pure laziness, especially when we have touch screen phones that suggest what the word should be". We are toooo toooo lazy people. During my college days 3years back i wrote few words in sms language in the internal exam. I felt very bad ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's awful when such lingo creeps into answer papers! :)

      Delete
    2. Yes mam .I am started communicating with everybody in normal english !!!

      Delete
  4. Exact Sheldon Cooper way.. Bazinga!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha. I hope you are not sitting in my spot ;)

      Delete
  5. Indeed!!! #5 is The BEST one!!!!! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. S.last. Line s superb na.value yourself.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your leaving a comment! Okay--I appreciate your leaving a comment if you have something nice to say ;-)