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Orkut and the X-men

It was a cousin of mine, a young girl who was getting married shortly, who introduced me to Orkut. Before that , like most people my age I was wary, suspicious and never really saw the need for it. The media reports sensationalizing every little thing to do with Orkut had created doubts in my mind too. After I started using it, I knew why people raved so much about it. It was so addictive, so easy to use, and best of all, it got me in touch with people whom I had shared such happy memories, yet lost touch, over the years.

Now I have been using it for more than two years and know my way around. :-)

What amuses me no end is the kind of men I come across here. Women are mostly wary and most women have a ‘don’t mess with me’ kind of message on their profile. And I know why—its just because those really desperate-wannabe-hero type of men out there. I classify them as under:

! 1. The loveship-fraindship types: These typically send you requests solely,purely and only because of two reasons

a. you are a woman

b. you are a woman :-)

Typically their requests run like this

ur pic is very nice
can u add me ur friend list
i know u have more friends
give one chanc to me i m profe to gud for u
i have allso gud friend in we r a very gud friend.can u add me??????????????"”

I delete the scrap and the request without a seconds hesitation—and to be doubly sure I go and remove it from my trash-can as well. I can’t bear the the thought of it polluting my beloved g-mail.

2. The Maska-chaska types : These usually praise anything about you. If you have not used your photo, they praise the display picture you have chosen. If you have mentioned books as your interest they claim they love people who love books.(not books mind you, but people)If you have used a snap of yours, then they praise everything.

I usually delete these too. But I let them stay in my trash can for a while :-) (I am a woman after all)

3. The no-intro types: These straight away send a friend request. No introduction, no scrap, no politeness, no sense! Of course I don’t bother with these.

4. The IIT-IIM types: Many people who have that qualification think that they ought to be in your friends list, just because they have cleared the JEE and the CAT. What irks me is their intellectual arrogance and the lack of basic etiquette, manners and courtesy. Of course, everyone from IIT/IIM is NOT like that. But I know a few specimens who list it prominently on their profile like it is the ultimate thing in life (Maybe in their life it indeed is.) I don’t refer here to the communities they are a part of which is totally acceptable, as after all it is only natural, because it is where they studied. What I am talking about is those guys who put ‘IIT-IIM’ in their ‘about me’ on their profile and nothing else—like it is the only thing about them that matters.

5. Celebrity-photo types: These guys will never have picture of them anywhere on their profile or album. It is usually filled with pictures of celebrities. I find it really pointless. Are you so ashamed of who you are that you hide and worse you fill your album with pictures of celebrities? What is the purpose or point? I don’t know!

6. Okay guys: This category is the by far the best. These guys use their own pictures. They list out their likes and dislikes. They don’t pretend to be what they are not. There are no ‘sexy aunty looking for _______’ in their friend list or their community list. They also list whether they are single or married or ‘committed’. They usually are well-read, can make decent conversation and are not blatant woman chasers, at least on the face of it. (What they may be thinking in their minds is another matter altogether) And yes--they can include guys from category 4.

No wonder then that I am, like most women, so wary of friendship requests from men. There are only very few good ones out there.

I usually go and see the profiles of whoever has visited my profile. Today I got a friend request which said that I had left footprints in his profile and therefore I MUST add him at least now! (What a choice of words!) I wanted to respond back that I usually accept friend requests from men I don’t know, only if they make an application in triplicate, and get it approved and signed by my husband. (Who is also on Orkut and is prominently featured in my profile in the testimonials section. heh heh.) Satish said to tell him that he would leave hand imprints, not foot prints, if he continued sending such requests.

But I knew better. I just deleted the request and the scrap. :-)


  1. First!I win Gold!!!(to read ur blog n leave a comment!!):)
    How true di..
    I am sure all of us out there have got these"I want to friendship you"
    worse...some with some yanky touch to "wanna be friendship??"..
    earlier these used to irritate me..
    Now just used to these..and as you ve told just promptly gets deleted...

  2. Category 5 is too irriating!!! As a man, I have never come across such other listed categories and to be true I didnt tried anything like I am there in orkut too!!!

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Hi. I thank Orkut for getting me back in touch with my school friends, whom I'd all but lost touch with. But I must admit I was quite skeptical about it initially too.
    So have you made any real friends through Orkut at all?

  5. So basically it's Facebook?

    And are you aware that you still have Freelance Cynic in your blogroll, a now largely defunct blog, but not freelance Guru. If you are that's fine. You can go back to ignoring me.

    Will you make friend wit me?

  6. Lololol! I can so totally relate! Thats the reason i switched over to fb...! :)

    Now the only reason i use orkut is to keep in touch with a few cousins n friends in india who refuse to switch to fb!!

  7. I haven't used orkut to its full extent. I'm too lazy to check it(I'm rarely getting scraps and rarely scrapping). I used to go to communities once in a while.
    And your comment in my orkut really made me happy.

    I liked the picture. Good post!!!

    Cheers :-)

  8. Karthik; So you don't do loveship and fraindship? LOL

    Sunshine:Same here--But many of my cousins are on orkut, and so i use orkut for that.

    Freelance:I shall make fraindship wit u--no ignurring--promis :) :)

    RajK: Only one out of more than 100 on my list! A real good friend who has helped me SO MUCH.But it's taken a while to become such good friends.

    Sri: naturally you wont--the criteria for coming across such things is you have to be woman.

    Swathy: yeah! Thats the best way :)

  9. 'Satish said to tell him that he would leave hand imprints, not foot prints' too good..I almost missed the humour!!;-D

    And yay I hope I am still in category 6!!:-D

    For me Orkut is so good because most of my friends are scattered around in the globe and it helps me to keep in touch...Many stay away from orkut because of many people misusing it..but i think its still a fair medium..

    Check out this post from Silverine

    You ll love it!!

  10. Mathew: heh heh--yes-this Nizam guy is the king of loveship and fraindship :) yes--even i find orkut good especially for my work, as it helps me reach out to so many within minutes.For my latest article too (in Readers digest joy) I have got in touch with many people solely due to Orkut.

  11. When I created my profile 2+ yrs ago, I found all my school and colleges friends with whom I had lost contact. Now, since all of us are in contact thru messenger or phone, I don't see the need of orkut and hence disabled the alerts too. Some send invites saying that they like the profile info or ur blog is nice and I strictly delete them just the way you do :)

    As you said, its too annoying when someone adds without any reason whom we don't even know. But we can't stop them either.

  12. Did you change the look of ur blog or is it my comp that's acting wierd?
    The city has banned Orkut so definitely can't comment, but I've taken ur lurkers post so seriously that I still wanna leave a line (perhaps few). The day you write about 'Facebook', I'll definitely have something more to say :)

  13. Hee Hee...Nice post!
    It reminded me of similar ones i had posted some time back...HEres the link...


  14. u actually found ur way arnd orkut?...i call it oru kuttam ... a paranoid when i put my profile there...i think its still out there..found it too out there...but then was never a community site kinda guy...funny thing is tht no one i dont know has approched me for friendship...i guess it helps to be a bloke...

    my wife says she gets these categories u listed all the time...

  15. Ah... orkut! It rocks, yes.

    I mostly don't add people I don't know. I guess that's the safest thing to do!

    Reminds me, I too visited your orkut profile sometime back and thought of adding you, but later decided against it. Your thin friends list discouraged me, actually. Thought you might reject it.

    One question. Am I in category 6 like the great Mr Mathew himself? :D

  16. I so agree with you on this.
    I used to use Yahoo messenger as well, and I was so tired of pushy, insistent men asking me to turn on my web cam. I would tell them straight out, NO! Not at all. I don't use it.
    and they would either try and persuade me like it was a game (and I'd block them) or just log off and presumably stalk some other woman.
    It would be interesting to hear what the men get from not so nice women.

  17. OMG !!I was just talking to my hubby about these stupid friendship requests on Orkut and I saw your post. What a coincidence !! Basically what I was telling him was, that at first, I just had my pic on the profile, and I got these stupid requests. So changed the profile pic to include both me and my hubby, and I still got these requests. Now I have a pic of just my baby, AND I'm STILL getting such crap "Frandship" requests !!! Isn't that ridiculous !!!

  18. I find people that don't say anything the most annoying of all. Why would I want to add as a friend someone I don't know and doesn't have anything to say to me and is probably only a contact collector? (a dangerous species!)

  19. I'd've categorised this as a post from oh-one-who-thinks-she's-hip-and-can-write-anythin-about-guys, unless i personally had the experience of having to go through such requests. It all started when my sister started using orkut and then added friends without thinking twice at first . I'd really felt like leaving a lot more than just a handprint or a footprint upon some guys who posted lewd comments coz sis ignored his add request. Ther's even another category you missed. The buggers who are so frustrated that they create a fake profile with a similar email id n then steal all the details n pics from the gal's original profile n then add her friends and then sends them porno scraps or invites to NICE communities. Ther's a LARGE number of such guys around, as my sis alone had 4 fake profiles under her display pic n details, not to mention the numerous friends who've told about such cases.

    Orkut is gr8 coz it brings old friends bak, but bad coz it brings perverts closer.

  20. the categories were amazing i tell you , had a good laugh reading the post... keep writing !!!!

  21. "I usually go and see the profiles of whoever has visited my profile." This should be one category by itself. Guys trying to add ladies who inadvertently visit their profile. I did something similar once ( yea just once!!) but instead of sending a friendship request , I sent an innocuous question and we have been the best of friends ever you never know..
    I do like reading the stupid 'franship' requests that my lady friends and sisters get...'phrastrated' souls!!

  22. Preeti, I'm passing an award on to you for your wonderful blog. Please go to my blog for more information. Congratulations.

  23. i too wonder when people add celebrity pic on their profile...

    i get those requests and i don't bother finding out goes straight into teh trash can...but yes, its a good medium to be in touch with those you really want to...

  24. pokeship is way more, facebook, that is.
    btw, really liked your photo up there, i also notice that you've lots of books.. you have a nice smile that goes well with that wooden, can i send that request now?
    lol, sorry, couldn't help it!!! :)

    PS. A name/url option in the comments box would help.. one small upgrade for you, a giant leap for the comments folk :)

  25. I sure agree that every girl gets these ever so often fraandship requests!

    But the worst I ever got was a testimonial from some random guy!
    The testimonial read one of those special character images which spell out sweet/cute/friend etc!

    I was so shocked! I mean someone leaving a testimonial for no apparent reason at all!

  26. Aathira:That is really preposterous!!So crazy right?!!

    Manuscrypts: Blogger allows either this option or allowing anyone to add comments--and I have had bad experiences with allowing 'anyone'.Also I don't moderate comments anymore--therefore sticking to this.As for the request--have you filled the form in triplicate?;-):-)

    Suma;Very true.And u know when i initially started using it, I was so glad to have found you and Prats there as well (I was thinking I am the only mom there on orkut!)

    Marilyn:Thank you so much!Already collected!

  27. Ancietmariner: Question is any day better than requests! And nice that you found a great friend.

    Avenger:Thanks for stopping by and glad u enjoyed!

    Abhi:Thats plain scary--to know there are people who are crazy enough and have that much time to do all that!


  28. Priyanaka: They will just read your name and still send you friendship requests!!I don't know whether to feel sorry for them or not.

    Rayne:Most women in India are not aggressive or pushy--especially online.Here I think, having a profile on a social networking site itself is considered being 'bold'.I can totally relate to what you are saying about the pushy men.

    Hari:You have already got your answer :)

    Tys:yes--men wont get such requests--Is your family back there?

    Akanksha:Will read! Hope you had a great raksha bandhan.

    Stillthinking:I thought u were in mumbai..My blog seems fine--so maybe its just your comp.

    Manasa:I still use it because like I said, for my magazine and newspaper articles I find it so so so useful.I need to talk to many people as a part of my job--and orkut really helps.

  29. Interesting Categorisation. But//There are only very few good ones out there // A very sweeping remark I guess !!
    But one can understand the predicament in " to accept or not to accept " in the E World

  30. Awww, and I thought I wrote well on my blog :(

  31. orkut is blocked over here. Now is tht good or bad:-P?

  32. Reflections: Good/bad--I don't know!!

    Still Thinking:Oh no!!U do write well--Maybe I just have not understood where you are located.Maybe I made a mistake--let me go see!

    CU: No No--not at all a sweeping remark--do ask the ladies as it is they who get flooded with requests.

  33. Still thinking:I went and checked--you have mentioned Mumbai as your location in your profile..And I got confused as you said the city has blocked orkut.

  34. I get friends requests with something weird like - your eyes are very nice or hey cutie blah blah.I add only people I know.
    Nice post!Got ur link from tys' Blog :)

  35. Orkut gave me old friends, relatives n ppl whom i had not heard from since a longgg longg time. but best of all....i got YOU PS!!! so now u know y im still stuck to Orkut!! :)

  36. nope...iam still living the bachelor life... sucks!

  37. Orkut holds a special place in my heart...tht's what got Arjun n me together :)

  38. It has become my daily routine to log on to orkut and delete these irritating friends request. Now, there is one category which I feel you excluded. The men with Porn pictures on their profile.. I have even received friends requests from girls to be a part of their lesbian-orgy kind of communities.. If my mornings are sleepy, this is one sure way to get me up and alert... spam has found its way on to orkut as well..

  39. This comment has been removed by the author.

  40. nolongeram: Oh yes--there are those kinds too--but I dnt get them in a regular basis--so left them out!

    SMM:Wow!!If you write about it I'd LOVE to read!


    Pai:Same pinch!! I feel good to have re-found you too! :)

    Tia: Thanks!! and welcome!

  41. he he he.

    Well what can I say? we all are guilty of snooping around? aren't we?

    I was young once. Sent frandship requests... :D

    have listed them out here..

    i was harmless though.. :D

  42. Lol! Thanks for checking? :p

    I was in Mumbai when I created my blogger account but I'm in the Middle East now and the country that I'm in has blocked sites like Orkut, Skype and the likes. We still have Facebook and I don't know if I should be happy. My posts keep saying how much I miss Mumbai :)

  43. hehe! laughed so hard the first one!!

    they are soow eird! and i am amazed that they want us to be frainds when they have pics of naked chicks in their friends list all over!!

    i personally accept requests ONLY from people i know, either in real or virtual world!



  44. wow you stole my words.. I have a disclaimer in my profile that I accept fried requests only from people whom I know. Still I get lot of friend requests from unknown people. I just select the 'No' without even bothering to visit their profiles. I have set privacy policy and so fortunately I don't get unnecessary scraps anymore. So my list is exclusively for people whom I know directly and want to continue the friendship. There is one disadvantage though. Many a times some of my friends(girls) don't keep their original snaps and I fail to recognize them and reject their requests. Sometimes this will lead to senti mails later :)

  45. friendship request in my mail box in orkut

    dear madam,

    i would like to be your humble student and learn a lot from you.


    well,what do you say about such whackos??

  46. Gazal: LOL!! :-) :-)

    Dhanya: Well--wish i could do that--but since I use it a lot for work, I can't as almost all my sources emerge from orkut!

    Mam-mia: they probably think we are horny aunties--*makes puking action* :-) :-) Absolutely sick guys.

    Still thinking;Don't know how I missed that in your posts..maybe you are not whining enough--or maybe because I have kids, i just automatically tune out the whines!! :) Don't know!

    Rj: i read that--you didnt!! :)

  47. look nice and i think you are a female who judge man by mind not can you be able to be a friend for me??

    Ha ha ha...fooled ya :-)

    OK...i hope its not totally inappropriate that I take the liberty to joke around.

    I do not have any comment for this post (except a few caustic ones for the cartoon in the beginning!)

    Stumbled upon this blog by chance and read quite a few of the posts. Liked it, so gonna visit often (no, don't bother with the tea!)

    One that tugged a lot of heartstrings was the "Town Mouse, Village Mouse". Do not know why, but a sense of loss creeps in as this type of living (which I enjoyed for 70% of my life) is slowly becoming extinct...

  48. thank god I'm still away from this Orkut facebook web! :D

    Can never deal with such messages :D

  49. NM; What?!!U not on orkut or facebook?! OMG--you are missing a LOT :D LOL...Could not resist that.

    harish: You really did fool me :)Wondering how you arrived at 70%

  50. that was the intent...
    by the way, you should see the really creative ones..

    There's one that goes:

    I was just browsing on orkut (timepass kar raha tha)
    Saw your profile by chance (kismat achi thi)
    Liked it a lot (Maska maar raha hoon)

    WTF!! Its like a Directors Cut DVD edition with commentary!!


    26 and away from home since I turned

    18 X 100 / 26 = 69.256 ~ 70%

  51. Your categorization,PS,is it based upon those despo-wannabe-hero type men alone? .. Or is it the entire menfolk in orkut who have been categorized into six ?!

    What confuses me is that even in the 'okay-category' you have mentioned (thou in brackets) you're not sure what festers inside their minds :)

  52. This comment has been removed by the author.

  53. hello preeti...thanks for showing interest in my blog...was just reading yours...its pretty much related to the name of my blog, in other words your blog is MINDBLOWING!!! Me and my mom simply loved it...and as far as the article goes...what you say is absolutely right..orkut is good in many ways..but your article clearly points out the negatives of it too...Keep Writing...


  54. I have always been wary of the level of information I leave available to the 'world's' is quite easy to gather information on someone and create a false identity and that's only a step away from gaining such things as credit etc...i've heard of it many times. So, there is a sayingwhich suits the handling of 'friend requests'.."Be as gentle as a dove and as wise as a serpent"

  55. never used Orkut. And never will!



  56. I cant stop laughing seeing your post,the vocabulary that you have used is apt for the description you quote ,nice one


  57. I guess I find social networking a little weird..or may be i am too old fashioned to make friends just by seeing profiles or the pics..makes me wonder does that really work?.. I mean can you make a good friend just by a knowing a person through profile?...what would be the basis for such friendship

  58. Rambler: scroll up and read what SMM said.She found her perfect man through orkut :) It of course takes more than a few scraps and looking at a profile.I too have made one really good friend thru orkut.Its just a medium for meeting interesting people.

    sukhoi : :-)

    Keshi: Why?U dont want to make loveship? ;-)

    Niall: True--but one can control privacy settings.

    Vinay:Thank you~~~!! :-)

    balu: of course all men think 'that way'..Only degree varies :-) Men are from Mars.

    Harish: clever!

  59. Harish: no!! I meant it.It was rather clever.

  60. seriously?

    now will u can be able to have fraandshipp with me?

  61. Hi,
    I am not a blogger..Am 'just a stay-at-home-mother of one'(wink).
    You cud also call me a lurker..!!Theres a reason for why I turned into a lurker..Earlier I used to leave comments on other people's blogs and I didnt get any response at all..the ones i got were kinda like lukewarm..So I thought mayb they didnt want to get comments from non-bloggers or mayb that they had already formed a circle of friends and didnt want any intruders..No hard feelings though..and then i came to ur blog 2,3 days back..n BOOM..!!I was hooked..Like you've promised ur posts made me smile or think..some of them made me suffocate with emotions..some even left me confused..But I must say..I admire ur write ups..You remind me of a Tshirt which I bought for myself some 4,5 years back..!!You might think am NUTS..No seriously I cudnt resist myself from buying it..

    It said 'Living Right & Loving Life'..
    Now it makes sense doesnt it??
    Coz thats exactly what You r doing..

    Keep up the good work..
    OMG am not a Lurker anymore..!!


  62. Harish: err..hmmm...ahem..uh-huh :D

    Geets:Thanks for taking the time out and commenting.Most bloggers LOVE comments--I don't know why they ave you lukewarm responses.Purpose of writing is to connect.If they don't want that then their writings should be private--right? Anyway, happy you decided to de-luk--and thanks for the kind things you have been saying.Cheers!

  63. Well as any other things Orkut has had its pluses and minuses..I does help ppl meet long lost friends(even i had met some long lost freinds..someone who i din meet for mayb 16 yrs...last time we met was in 4th std...)but there are some who always use things for things that we don normally do...

    I really liked ur blog..gonna blog roll it right away... if u have the time pls check my blogs...

    have a nice day...

  64. I so agree with ur post!! Though orkut does help in finding lost friends, its more of a nuisance!

    The weirdest scrap that I have received so far is someone telling me that he was Ram and I was Sita in the previous births and he realized it now and would like to get back in touch with me...LOL!! can u believe it?!!

  65. hehe... Nice observation....
    Me being a guy - i've seen a few guys, who send friend requests to girls saying - "Hey u were my classmate in school ryt??". Of course they know she isn't. When they get the reply that she isn't the person who they(apparently) are looking for, they would say - "Anyway, i liked ur profile. We can still be friends." lol...

    Just enjoy such things......
    We guys don't face that problem, hence the advice... :)

    And abt point .5 , i guess tats more a case with girls(atleast, tats my observation).

    Yet, orkut's a wonderful place to keep in touch with childhood friends with whom we've lost touch wit (as u said)....


  66. No one could sum it up better than you! Witty and yet so true! I've had the same opinion about all the categories :-)

  67. Shantaram: Thank u for blogrolling..will check out yours too.(or did i already?)

    Pratima:That was HILRAIUOS :) How can anyone think a girl will fall for that line!


    Stillness speaks:heh heh

  68. LOL...this is one reason i never put my real email id out there...n in orkut n fb i guess we have some security n privacy options tht help us avoid spam n report such ppl...


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