Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Friends--we do need them.
What can one say about friendship that hasn’t been said before?
Sociology defines it as a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behaviour between two or more social entities operating on values of trust, that one shall not harm the other, and involving affection, knowledge and esteem.
From a psychoanalytic point of view, friendship is one of the bonds that arise from sexual impulses, when their attainment of a directly sexual goal is inhibited. However, this is a process of inhibition rather than sublimation. This approach to a sexual satisfaction that is never consummated forms the basis for especially strong and enduring ties between people.
A hindi-english text message I received, amused me no end. It said “Friendship is like susu in the chaddi. (pee in your pants) Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.” :-)
Whatever you call it, all of us need friends. In this modern day living, friends are the new family.
As children, friendship is so uninhibited. If you have observed a group of children playing,what will strike you is that they are so honest. If they don’t like something that the other does, either they tell it so frankly, or if they are very annoyed, push the other down and get into a good fist fight. The two who have fought, of course cannot stay without each other and are looking for an excuse to make-up.
One looks at the other, and says “Ok.Will you be my friend?”
The other says “Only if you say sorry”
“Ok. I’m your friend”
Fight forgotten, happily they run out and start playing again. No malice, no egos. We adults have a lot to learn from children.
I often tell my children that they are lucky to have such good friends. My 5 year old daughter was running a fever yesterday and I kept her indoors, after a dose of paracetamol. She was very upset that she could not join her gang of friends. She was sulking, bored and beginning to get annoyed with me.
Suddenly ,around 7:30 p.m the doorbell rang and when we opened it, there were all her friends(and her brother too) and each of them had made a ‘get well soon’ card for her! These kids had sacrificed their precious play time to sit and make cards for my daughter. She was happy, elated, overjoyed, touched . I simply had to click a picture.
Life does not reward you such moments everyday.
Look carefully and you will see the pile of cards in her hand.Her brother is right at the back trying to make horns with his hand for the child in front of him :-)