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Age and Prejudice.A tribute to Dad’s best friend.

Age is something that creeps up on every single one of us. As you read this, you are a few seconds older. Some people just exist, dragging their weary souls behind them. And some people really live life to the fullest. Age does not get in their way, obstacles do not get them down for long and they emerge stronger, happier and they have grown.

What is it that separates these go-getters from the others? Why is it that some people are so weary and down-in-the dumps where as some people are bubbly, positive, cheerful and great to be around? I had mentioned this in my post radiators and drains.’(in case you do not know what it is please do click on link)

Mr. Prabhu is one such radiator. I feel so fortunate that he came into my life and feel very enriched that I share a close relationship with him. He is an amazing person. He is so energetic, dynamic, lively, spirited, tireless, vivacious ,zippy and so full of life. He is one of those very few who have really succeeded in cocking a snook at so called ‘age’. He is a total non-conformist and a bachelor-boy at 73.Also my parents' best friend. He and my dad used to get along like a house on fire and were inseparable. (see the picture showing dad and Mr.Prabhu)

If I wasn’t already married (with two kids as well!) he is definitely the kind of man I would have fallen in love with!

He left a small village in Kerala when he was just 23, and moved to the big bad city of Mumbai, where he lived for 48 years, and worked for a British company, at a senior management position. After that, partly because of my dad and partly because of his own reasons, he moved back to Kerala—a kind of ‘returning to the roots’.

After observing many people, I have realized that it is just attitude and thinking, that makes all the difference. You can be old at 22 or you can be young at 73.You can either accept defeat, and get plagued with self-doubt and ‘what-will-people-say’ or you can sport a ‘this-is-how-i-am-take-it-or leave-it’ attitude. You can dare be different—or you can choose to confirm.

The important thing is to have an alert and open mind. The quest to keep learning. A child is always curious. The child’s desire for knowing is unsatiable—he loves to explore, he discovers and is pleased with new things. It helps to cultivate those qualities .(It also helps to have regular exercise and a healthy life style—but I shall leave that for another post!) You grow old when you feel you have seen it all and you know it all.

After all, as Mark Twain said “ Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you do not mind, it does not matter.”

And in the end, it’s the chutzpah that you have that makes all the difference. If you had met my dad or Mr.Prabhu you would agree. One hundred percent.


  1. Reading this I suddenly feeel very old.
    Time for a regeneration.

  2. Freelance Cynic: Does that mean that you feel you have seen everyhting and know everyhting?Or is it just cynicism talking again?!! Because I sure do not FEEL old at all..Especially after that post:-)

  3. you said is only the way you think.

  4. Your posts have it all. Heart, Yiddish, and Mark Twain.


  5. Ushakka : Am glad you agree.

    Mr.Fab: What a fabulous compliment.Thank you!! My smile is stretching from ear to ear.A really big grin.

  6. I'm with Mark Twain!

    I remember when I turned 30 and everyone seemed more concerned than I did. In fact some people actually got upset that I wasn't upset at getting 'old'! Fact is, my age is irrelevant to me and I do not judge others on their physical age either. As you say it is a state of mind!

    I have a friend who was upset at her birthday as she was turning another year older. I thought it was a strange way of thinking as we get older every second of every minute of every day. I see a Birthday as a bonus because I get lots of lovely cards and presents! I feel for people who don't enjoy their birthday, they are missing out!

    Great post and as ever you make your point with great empathy adn feeling. Mr Prabhu sounds like a fantastic person to know!

  7. I know what you mean, I have aunts of almost 90 years of age that are as lively as I am, or more! And I know some drains too, but those are boring enough when you have to see them, so forget about them.
    You're so right about the open-mind and the need to learn. Some people's horizons are extremely narrow, sometimes it's not their fault, but it really ages a person not to have things to look forward to, curiosity, etc.

  8. Bob-kat: You are so right.He is a great person to know.And talking to him helps me so much.I lost my dad and he lost his best friend.

    Devil-Mood: It is so true.Would love to meet your aunts! Whenever I see such spirited elderly folks, i always hope that i turn out like them, if i live that long!!

  9. What a fabulous shout out to someone who is obviously a very dear friend. It is so true what you said: You can be old at 22 or you can be young at 73. Reminds me that I'm too old for my age sometimes. Live more!

  10. You can be old at 22 or you can be young at 73.It is a great piece of advice,to all who r old at heart.
    happy ugadi :)

  11. Anonymous12:38 AM

    why should you refer to a child as a "he". Being a lady yourself, I feel that is wrong to be biased over gender.

  12. You are so right Preeti!

    I work with older people (all over 65 years old) and they are all sick in one way or another and so i have a very biased view of ageing. I dont see the people living life to the full and making the most of each day etc... I dont see people who are optomistic about the future. Usually quite the opposite.

    Very thought provoking for me as sometimes this agedness and negativity wears heavily on my soul and spirit and i for get youth and vibrancy.

    Who was it said, "Youth is wasted on the young" ?

  13. hey lovely post..
    Yes prabhu uncle is adorable. so was ur dad.. :)

  14. I will always be young by name..I am full of respect for those who appear to be batteries on legs...Mr. Prabhu is obviously one of them. He is present in the way you write..a man who influences all who come into contact with him!

  15. Deepak:Thank you.Happy ugadi to you too.

    Katherine: Thank you

    Annonymous: Usually I do not publish comments from people who do not even have the courtesy to leave their names.Referring to the child as 'he' was just a matter of usage, and avoiding the awkward he/she.It could have been she for all I care.Makes absolutely no difference.The article was about ageing and was a tribute to Mr.Prabhu.Not about digging out usages.The regular readers and the people who know me well, would agree that I have absolutely no gender biases.By looking at such miniscule issues, you missed the big picture and the message my annonymous friend.Thank you for taking the time off to comment.

    Al: It always made me think when i saw some elderly people so full of life, and some young people, already defeated.I'm happy this article made you think.

    Diya:You and I are some of the fortunate ones having known these two men so closely.We are richer for the experience, don't you agree?

    Niall :Wish you'd met my dad.He was such a vibrant person.

  16. I want to be like cheese
    as I grow older
    I want to get better
    I want to loved my many
    hated by a few.
    I want my 'life' aroma
    to be noticed.
    I want to be real cheese
    not processed
    pre-cut in slices
    but a whole cheese
    a whole experience
    a one off
    not manutactured.
    Ral as real can be.

  17. There's nothing worse than an "old" 22-year old. Heck, I've had a few friends that have always been "old." I think they were born that way.
    - - - -
    Mr. P sounds like a great friend.

  18. I knew a few people like that.

  19. Sometimes I think. that itself a joke. Have you ever though of how fast a second passes. we dont even realise it. On a serious note if one were to take the average life expectancy as 85 years which itself is long. One would live only 2680 million seconds. A few seconds have already gone by while reading this article. Moral of the story I guess is to enjoy life to the Hilt. Have met the gentleman in the article briefly. However have not interacted with him myself. However knowing PS myself, and who is so full of life and joy and is a radiator too herself, if one can be admired by her then that person is definitely worth knowing. There are some people whom you instinctly take to for no rhyme or reason. And some whom you don't. Aim in life I guess is to be a radiator and not a drain. hmmmm tough task though

  20. This is so so true.. Attitude and thinking is all that makes the difference...


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