Happiness Boost-- Show me yours and I'll show you mine :)

Why do some people have such a happy influence on us? They cheer us up by just being there. They seem to have some secret magic happiness powder which they have sprinkled all around them and it is hard to not feel enthusiastic and happy when they are around. They are not necessarily boisterous, loud and oh-I’m-so-happy-all-the-time-isn’t-life-great kind of irritating people who seem to think that they know the cure for all of your problems. I don’t mean those extra-jolly types. (though some people naturally are that way—they cannot help it).

In contrast, there are some people who drain us completely and make us feel so miserable. I have even written a chapter ‘Radiators and Drains’ in my first book which touches upon this. I had also written about ‘prickers’ in one of my earlier posts. But the fact is, even if these people haven’t said anything or done anything, one feels so down in the dumps, after any kind of interaction with them, even if they have been really nice. Some people I know truly leave me exhausted after I speak to them. I feel like a bouncy castle that has developed leaks in several places and is deflating rapidly. Ideally, I would like to avoid them, but sometimes one cannot for various reasons.

Why is this so? Why do some people really enjoy life and others do not?  Why are some people naturally exuberant and positive like Tigger  in Winnie the Pooh and some are like Eyeores? Psychologists  have spent more than 30 million dollars in research to answer these very questions. Their findings have led to a movement called Postive Psychology movement, started as far back as 2000. This is not some new age mumbo-jumbo but is a serious scientific study backed by serious empirical support. Do some people truly have the secrets of  happy life?  Why do things mostly ‘go right’ for them?

Doctor Nick Baylis, a psychologist at Cambridge University says that if somebody is happy with life, they are more popular. Everybody likes hanging out with happy people.They are more productive, healthier and live longer. Baylis also says that optimism is a self fulfilling prophecy. If you firmly believe that things are going to get better, they will, as you will put yourself forward more, try harder and will take better care of yourself.

These scientists also believe that happiness and optimism can be learnt. Dr.Seligman who is one of the founders of the Postive psychology movement has elaborated a lot more on this by saying that true happiness can come from three factors—‘Pleasant life’,  “good life’ and a ‘meaningful life’. You can read more about it in this wiki article or this article which appeared in ‘The Guardian’ in 2003.

I know for a fact that I feel happy when I focus on what is right in life rather than what is wrong. Sometimes we are so steeply mired in our problems that we fail to notice the small things. Sometimes the drains and the emotional vampires make our vision cloudy and bring anger, hurt and frustration into our systems.

You know then, that it is time for a spring clean! Throw out the negativity. Stick to the ones who make you feel good. Insulate yourself with a shield of love. Hug someone you love.(A tight bear hug is highly recommended)

Answer these questions ( A thank you to Nikhil who sent them to me this morning)

You can be sure you will instantly feel good.

I am sharing with you my happiness boost for this week:

Beautiful Tulips that I grew in my garden.

(Aren’t they gorgeous?! I have only painted tulips so far from pictures and seen photos of them Now I am growing them in my garden! I grew these from bulbs and how they have blossomed.  Don’t you feel  happy just looking at them?! I do!)

Pssst: I have grown Camelias and Daffodils too :-) Want to see? :-) I'll tell you what--Let's be fair. We'll trade. Share with me your happiness boost and I shall share those with you in my next post :-)  Its only fair, right?


After all happiness shared multiplies!