Friday, April 24, 2015

How to tell if they are right for you?

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  I came across a beautifully written article today. It talked about why that  one perfect relationship you had is ruining everything else. You can read the piece HERE.

It talks about how humans value only those things that they work for. And a relevant point that the writer Paul Hudson made is that if we work  for something, it stays longer in our minds and the longer it stays in our minds, it becomes a large part of you.

That is precisely why the more time we spend with somebody, more attached we become to them. I had written about a thought that I found fascinating: 'You are the average of 5 people you spend most time with,' Click HERE to read what I had written.

A question I often get asked is 'How do I know if he/she is good for me?'

To know that, you have to ask yourself what your goals in life are. What matters most to you? Is it personal growth, intellectual stimulation, earning more money, starting something on your own or doing things that have always been on your list but you never got around to or something else?

Once you define those, check and see if that person is making you feel good about yourself and also taking you closer to your goals? Or is the person holding you back in some ways and making you feel inadequate?  One of the most powerful voices that we hear inside our heads is that of our parents. The thing is their life experiences have been completely different from yours. Check and see if their voice is what is replaying inside your head most of the time.

By no means am I advocating that you should stop listening to your parents and discard all their fears. All I am saying is that we need to be conscious of out thoughts---the stories that we tell ourselves.  We need to make informed choices regarding the people we spend our time with.

Thoughts are powerful. Conveying them through words is even more powerful. And once something enters you, and you internalise it, it shapes you in some way.

Make your choices well. You are loved and you are precious.

Take care and until the next post think happy thoughts.
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5 comments:

  1. absolutely. it's a small issue but an important one. we should introspect deeply for what we are doing? are we justified? as always motivational words!!!

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  2. Nice points.I would like to add here that not just checking what the other person provides, we should also see how much are we willing to fine tune ourselves (assuming the other one does too ;) ) without losing ourself. Of course, thats the crux of whatever you've written but still, our own willingness to change also would matter,isn't it?

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  3. It very true Preeti and we get attached to those we spend most of our times with. I made the experience with few good friends that become our strength and make us grow in intellect. Sometimes, it's not just parents but people who make a difference to our lives that matter.
    Cheerz

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  4. Wonderful post !! I read a book recently " five love languages" .. It has similar thoughts !!

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  5. what you said is very much practical,Preeti..But what ever we do,whatever goals we set, whatever ways we master; we ourselves change as per the changes in time and surroundings.

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