Skip to main content

How to tell if they are right for you?

color splash photo: Color splash converse converse-1.jpg




  I came across a beautifully written article today. It talked about why that  one perfect relationship you had is ruining everything else. You can read the piece HERE.

It talks about how humans value only those things that they work for. And a relevant point that the writer Paul Hudson made is that if we work  for something, it stays longer in our minds and the longer it stays in our minds, it becomes a large part of you.

That is precisely why the more time we spend with somebody, more attached we become to them. I had written about a thought that I found fascinating: 'You are the average of 5 people you spend most time with,' Click HERE to read what I had written.

A question I often get asked is 'How do I know if he/she is good for me?'

To know that, you have to ask yourself what your goals in life are. What matters most to you? Is it personal growth, intellectual stimulation, earning more money, starting something on your own or doing things that have always been on your list but you never got around to or something else?

Once you define those, check and see if that person is making you feel good about yourself and also taking you closer to your goals? Or is the person holding you back in some ways and making you feel inadequate?  One of the most powerful voices that we hear inside our heads is that of our parents. The thing is their life experiences have been completely different from yours. Check and see if their voice is what is replaying inside your head most of the time.

By no means am I advocating that you should stop listening to your parents and discard all their fears. All I am saying is that we need to be conscious of out thoughts---the stories that we tell ourselves.  We need to make informed choices regarding the people we spend our time with.

Thoughts are powerful. Conveying them through words is even more powerful. And once something enters you, and you internalise it, it shapes you in some way.

Make your choices well. You are loved and you are precious.

Take care and until the next post think happy thoughts.
______________________________________________________________

Read my latest 'It happens for a reason' yet?
 Buy it: Amazon: http://is.gd/Ithappensamazon
              Flipkart: http://is.gd/Flipkartithappens
              Crossword: http://is.gd/Ithappenscrossword


Comments

  1. absolutely. it's a small issue but an important one. we should introspect deeply for what we are doing? are we justified? as always motivational words!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice points.I would like to add here that not just checking what the other person provides, we should also see how much are we willing to fine tune ourselves (assuming the other one does too ;) ) without losing ourself. Of course, thats the crux of whatever you've written but still, our own willingness to change also would matter,isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2:00 PM

    It very true Preeti and we get attached to those we spend most of our times with. I made the experience with few good friends that become our strength and make us grow in intellect. Sometimes, it's not just parents but people who make a difference to our lives that matter.
    Cheerz

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wonderful post !! I read a book recently " five love languages" .. It has similar thoughts !!

    ReplyDelete
  5. what you said is very much practical,Preeti..But what ever we do,whatever goals we set, whatever ways we master; we ourselves change as per the changes in time and surroundings.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your leaving a comment! Okay--I appreciate your leaving a comment if you have something nice to say ;-)


Popular posts from this blog

Why you are making a mistake if you don't speak up about #MeToo

The last few days have been tumultuous for everyone in urban India. If you are a working professional, or have worked at some point in your life, or if you strongly believe in gender equality,  it is hard to not get affected by the #Metoo movement. The #Metoo movement has taken off in India, like the  metaphorical snowball. I too, like many of you,  have been following closely, in shocked silence, as it has been unfolding. I can't tell you how happy I am that women in India, are standing up in solidarity, taking back their dignity.

Several  powerful men have been named.The stories have come POURING out.
I shall not go into details of the men named or the incidents here, as it is all over the media.

When something happens in your field of interest, it is natural that it affects you more than the incidents that happen in other fields. For me, what has been particularly disturbing was that the names from the field of literature that were coming out as well.

Earlier, in press in…

5 easy and useful tips to help you achieve your goals.

Dreams are goals with a deadline. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. I am a huge believer of these two statements.

Many a time, I have been asked this question
'How do you do so many things? How do you focus on your goals? How are you so dedicated?'

Many have written to me asking me to share my routine/ time-management/how I organise my day. So here goes:

Currently I am doing a challenge called Intkober where you do 31 drawings in Ink, in 31 days. The prompts are given in advance. Click on the link to know more. Thousands of artists all over the world do it, each year. I post my drawings on myInstagram art handle.

This is in addition to my writing which I do daily. I also make a portrait every single day, apart from Inktober.

I guess, to most people who see this, it looks like a LOT of things and they wonder how I manage it. Here are five  things I do, which help me. (and I hope they help you too)

1. Define the goals.

At the beginning of each month, I write down (in a dia…

Re-store : A delightful little shop in Whitefield, Bangalore.

All of us are guilty, at least to some extent  of hoarding stuff. We hold on to old things--be it clothes, books, utensils, footwear, knick-knacks or some such, that form the minutiae of our daily lives. Many a time these add to the the clutter too. Rare is the home which looks like the above pic.


I am a huge fan of Marie Kondo, and I highly recommend her book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up  which is more than just a book.

It is an entire philosophy, and a new approach. I read the book back to back, and immediately put into use the methods described in the book. I must tell you how wonderful I felt! I never thought that I could be that organised.

Clearing clutter, and the stuff that you no longer have use for, does release 'blocked energy.' There is no scientific or rational explanation for this. I only know that it works for me. Any Feng Shui practitioner and  loads of Eastern Schools of belief will confirm this.

I always make it a point to give away things I no longe…