How to tell if they are right for you?

  I came across a beautifully written article today. It talked about why that  one perfect relationship you had is ruining everything else. You can read the piece HERE.

It talks about how humans value only those things that they work for. And a relevant point that the writer Paul Hudson made is that if we work  for something, it stays longer in our minds and the longer it stays in our minds, it becomes a large part of you.

That is precisely why the more time we spend with somebody, more attached we become to them. I had written about a thought that I found fascinating: 'You are the average of 5 people you spend most time with,' Click HERE to read what I had written.

A question I often get asked is 'How do I know if he/she is good for me?'

To know that, you have to ask yourself what your goals in life are. What matters most to you? Is it personal growth, intellectual stimulation, earning more money, starting something on your own or doing things that have always been on your list but you never got around to or something else?

Once you define those, check and see if that person is making you feel good about yourself and also taking you closer to your goals? Or is the person holding you back in some ways and making you feel inadequate?  One of the most powerful voices that we hear inside our heads is that of our parents. The thing is their life experiences have been completely different from yours. Check and see if their voice is what is replaying inside your head most of the time.

By no means am I advocating that you should stop listening to your parents and discard all their fears. All I am saying is that we need to be conscious of out thoughts---the stories that we tell ourselves.  We need to make informed choices regarding the people we spend our time with.

Thoughts are powerful. Conveying them through words is even more powerful. And once something enters you, and you internalise it, it shapes you in some way.

Make your choices well. You are loved and you are precious.

Take care and until the next post think happy thoughts.
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Love, friendship and a guy called Wreck-it-Ralph

Sometimes a movie you watch leaves a lingering imprint in your mind and touches your soul. It makes you laugh, it makes you cry, it inspires you and makes you want to be a better person. It transports you to another world for a few hours and you become one with the characters. You find your heart beating wildly when they are about to do something dangerous you find yourself wiping a tear that has slipped out when something terrible happens to them and when they finally succeed you want to stand up hug them and give them an ovation.
Instead you sit glued to your seat, staring at the screen even as the credits roll.

I watched such a movie the other day. It was an animation movie. The graphics were brilliant and though the story had the usual twists and turns of a good commercial movie, what had me was the brilliant concept of a bad guy in an arcade game, wanting to be good. I fell in love with Wreck-it ralph just a few minutes into the movie.

Here is a trailer (which I really think does not do justice to what the movie is all about)



If you have a child in your life watch it with them. And if you do not have a child in your life, watch it for the child inside you.

It makes you feel grateful for all your  good friendships (oh yes there can be horrible friendships too--but I will save that for another post)  and  it makes you go awww.

And it makes you believe that Love and Friendship make life worth living. (Perhaps it resonated so much with me as that is the core theme of all my books)

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A little soul nurturing.

One of the things I really enjoy is to start the day by spending some time in my garden. The garden has been carefully tended to entirely by me and Satish. We do not have a gardener and we do everything ourselves.
I live in a penthouse on the 14th floor and we have two large terraces. This is where we have made our garden. We grow our own vegetables--everything right from Brinjals, tomatoes, Parsley, celery, Ridge gourd, Bitter gourd, green chillies , bottle gourd, carrots, radish, beet root, rocket leaves, spinach, fenugreek, beans, okara, squash (yes, it is indeed possible)-- organically and we are very proud of what we have managed to accomplish in a period of one year. We also compost our kitchen waste.(The only thing that goes out from my home is the plastic used in packaging. Rest of it all goes into the compost). I have written a post in the past on how to start an organic terrace garden.
And I have also written about things that a garden has taught me.

Apart from the vegetables that we grow, we also have some flowers. Today I want to share some pictures with you. These had my heart leaping in joy and my soul soaking in all the contentment.
Here goes

This is my collection of cactii plants. Look at the profusion of flowers! If you over-water them they will not grow. They thrive on neglect!

A close up of one of the plants--the flowers are so many that they cover the leaves! It is a very thorny plant.

Here is another close-up of another plant.

Look at this single flower dancing in the wind! Isn't this gorgeous?

Close up of a single jasmine flower. My jasmine always blooms when it rains. The fragrance is a whiff of heaven.

Is this a variety of chrysantemum? I don't know. But it is a profusion for sure :)

And finally--a rose that bloomed. Notice the dew drop inside it?

Gardening is one of the most rewarding hobbies that one can have. You don't need large areas. Even if you live in an apartment, a small balcony that gets sunlight for a little part of the day will do.

Try it once and you will be hooked. After all like  Alfred Austin said 'The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just on the body, but the soul.'

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Read my latest book yet? Jamu kaka grows an organic garden in that one. Now you know where that came from :)
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The sulky blog and other things

So it's been 13 whole days since I posted here. No wonder the blog was throwing a major tantrum like a whiny brat in the supermarket who screams and shouts till he is red in the face, sending the decibel levels sky rocketing to the level of a jet plane taking off till the weary parent finally succumbs and gives in.

My blog was  much nicer about it though. It sent me gentle mental reminders. And when that didn't work, it made a cute face at me and I always fall for niceness. So here I am :)

The last few days have been a whirlwind of activities. One of my closest friends visited me (and we have known each other since we were ten). I had my husband's family visiting and  of course the daily pressures of running a home and juggling my writing. My next book is coming along well but it will be a few months before you can have it in your hands. (and this is completely different from anything I have done before and I am excited about it)

Meanwhile my current book has been topping the charts. Those who follow me on FB would know about it as I have regularly been posting screen shots of the Nielsen best-seller lists there (it has consistently been on top ten, each week since release).

KPMG put up the video of the talk that I gave at their corporate office. Since many of you wrote in and asked me about it, here it is. It is about 12 minutes long.

I promise to be a bit more regular from now on. I don't want my blog to sulk.

Show it some love will you? Leave it some nice comments. It hates neglect and thrives on attention. And not just from me :) ____________________________________________________________________

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