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Happiness Boost-- Show me yours and I'll show you mine :)


Why do some people have such a happy influence on us? They cheer us up by just being there. They seem to have some secret magic happiness powder which they have sprinkled all around them and it is hard to not feel enthusiastic and happy when they are around. They are not necessarily boisterous, loud and oh-I’m-so-happy-all-the-time-isn’t-life-great kind of irritating people who seem to think that they know the cure for all of your problems. I don’t mean those extra-jolly types. (though some people naturally are that way—they cannot help it).

In contrast, there are some people who drain us completely and make us feel so miserable. I have even written a chapter ‘Radiators and Drains’ in my first book which touches upon this. I had also written about ‘prickers’ in one of my earlier posts. But the fact is, even if these people haven’t said anything or done anything, one feels so down in the dumps, after any kind of interaction with them, even if they have been really nice. Some people I know truly leave me exhausted after I speak to them. I feel like a bouncy castle that has developed leaks in several places and is deflating rapidly. Ideally, I would like to avoid them, but sometimes one cannot for various reasons.

Why is this so? Why do some people really enjoy life and others do not?  Why are some people naturally exuberant and positive like Tigger  in Winnie the Pooh and some are like Eyeores? Psychologists  have spent more than 30 million dollars in research to answer these very questions. Their findings have led to a movement called Postive Psychology movement, started as far back as 2000. This is not some new age mumbo-jumbo but is a serious scientific study backed by serious empirical support. Do some people truly have the secrets of  happy life?  Why do things mostly ‘go right’ for them?

Doctor Nick Baylis, a psychologist at Cambridge University says that if somebody is happy with life, they are more popular. Everybody likes hanging out with happy people.They are more productive, healthier and live longer. Baylis also says that optimism is a self fulfilling prophecy. If you firmly believe that things are going to get better, they will, as you will put yourself forward more, try harder and will take better care of yourself.
These scientists also believe that happiness and optimism can be learnt. Dr.Seligman who is one of the founders of the Postive psychology movement has elaborated a lot more on this by saying that true happiness can come from three factors—‘Pleasant life’,  “good life’ and a ‘meaningful life’. You can read more about it in this wiki article or this article which appeared in ‘The Guardian’ in 2003.

I know for a fact that I feel happy when I focus on what is right in life rather than what is wrong. Sometimes we are so steeply mired in our problems that we fail to notice the small things. Sometimes the drains and the emotional vampires make our vision cloudy and bring anger, hurt and frustration into our systems.

You know then, that it is time for a spring clean! Throw out the negativity. Stick to the ones who make you feel good. Insulate yourself with a shield of love. Hug someone you love.(A tight bear hug is highly recommended)

Answer these questions ( A thank you to Nikhil who sent them to me this morning)

You can be sure you will instantly feel good.

I am sharing with you my happiness boost for this week:


Beautiful Tulips that I grew in my garden.
(Aren’t they gorgeous?! I have only painted tulips so far from pictures and seen photos of them Now I am growing them in my garden! I grew these from bulbs and how they have blossomed.  Don’t you feel  happy just looking at them?! I do!)

Pssst: I have grown Camelias and Daffodils too :-) Want to see? :-) I'll tell you what--Let's be fair. We'll trade. Share with me your happiness boost and I shall share those with you in my next post :-)  Its only fair, right?


After all happiness shared multiplies!

Comments

  1. :) and that link was via @SurekhaPillai
    -Nikhil

    ReplyDelete
  2. First!!!!!

    My happiness boost can come from several things - a long call with a best friend, curling up with a good book, listening to my favourite song being played on the radio - etc.

    Loved your tulips - they really look gorgeous.

    Now, can you please share your Camelias and Daffodils? And, please write a post on gardening tips :)

    Cheers,

    ReplyDelete
  3. you know i sometimes feel there is a sweet little kid behind these posts.. you do everything with so much enthu n determination, like you said, reading you kind of passes on some to me as well..
    I did a post about my happiness boost for the day, please have a look and tell me how you like it :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mindspace; i did.Left a comment on your post.Pardon my honesty please.

    Palsworld: :) Same are my happiness boosts too! Gardening--i am alos learning. First time in my life I am doing all this by myself :) Will share :) And nikhil was first :P He cheated by leaving a short comment :) So u win :)

    Nikhil: :-) Vokay vokay :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. A positive note or word around me was something i was looking on in recent days and Thanks preeti for sharing such good thoughts...

    ReplyDelete
  6. The tulips are gorgeous!!!

    I finished your 'Radiators and Drains' yesterday and was going to tell you that I loved it. You stole my words! :P

    My happiness boosters? Playing with my son...having some good time with family over good food and some comedy movie...shopping...the more you think the longer the list gets...isn't it?

    (Btw...do share more pics of your garden...you seem to look after it very well :))

    ReplyDelete
  7. Varsh: Where did i steal your words?! I never praised it :P :-) Yes--my happiness boosters are simila to yours too :) I will share more pics. No--i dont look after it too well--lots more needs to be done :) But will share pics :)

    Sundari: my pleasure :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I appreciate your honesty all the time Preeti. Just read the poem and the sadness is evident. I would also want to set the bird free but only after I know that it can survive the high temperatures and harsh climate outside. or maybe I should hand it over to the bird sanctuary here.
    Thanks for leaving the comment.

    ReplyDelete
  9. There are emotional parasites ... and I hate them! They drain all the energy and vitality out of your being. My secret is simple ... Remember the movie "Ghost" with Demi Moore. The ghost keeps on singing "I am Henry the 8th I am". I keep mentally chanting it as a happy mantra. Somehow it protects me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks for this post Preeti. I have some friends whom I have categorized as happiness boosters :) I think it is a great trait and your blog has that ;), the reason we all keep frequenting.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My happiness booster is a smiling baby or a smiling baby's picture. Most of the times the ones they show on nappy ads :P since they look extremely comfortable and really happy from within!
    However sad I am, one picture like that can turn me around completely. It completely fills me with positive feelings.

    Also, listening to upbeat songs, an unexpected message from an old friend, appreciation from people who really matter, efforts/hardwork paying off in the form of success, sunshine, rain, snow, chocolates, roadside golgappas, oooo.. the list is endless :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. As you said "I feel happy when I focus on what is right in life rather than what is wrong", I strongly feel that whatever we focus on becomes big in our life, focus on sorrows and that's all we see and focus on goodies..well they grow! Lovely post!

    ReplyDelete
  13. sandhya: True! whatever we focus on does grow and become reality. Thank you :)

    MS: can relate a lot to your endless list too :) Thank u for showing me urs :P :D

    Lakshmi:Thank u thank u for a fab compliment and kind words :)

    Ritu: I remember Ghost but I dont remember the happy mantra. But yes we all need protection.

    Mindspace: OK :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Beautiful flowers! :)

    My happiness boost is...talking to an old friend after a long time,taking pictures of flowers in my garden,making people smile with my humour....and well many more :P

    ReplyDelete
  15. heyyy preeti....This is a coincidence, isn't it? I just wrote a post today about things that make me happy. Its still in my draft tho. Will post it tomorrow probably... Btw, nice, bright Tulips... :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Shit. Just after reading the first few lines of this post, I was about to comment regarding the "Radiators and Drainers", but you quoted that yourself later! :P

    The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps we don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink anyone's ship of happiness, so... :)

    For me - Small things in life matter more than big things! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Beautiful flowers preeti....they instantly brought a smile to my face...

    My happiness boost: Chatting with old friends and hubby, a quiet get away, Making others laugh, shopping, Having my favorite dish at supper :), An impromptu visit by a friend.....and loads of small things which make up my life

    ReplyDelete
  18. People tell me that i am a happy person in general... so i guess i feel happy about anything and everything around me :);)

    But now that you have asked for my happiness boost i am thinking even though there are many many things like when people visit me all of a sudden, also yummy food, or sometimes winning something (like i won that handmade card by you for commenting on a post),chatting with friends,having a good talk with mamma or listen to stories that papa has to share from his childhood days, listening to my brother after he gets home from college and tells me about his day...or simply watching an amusing/delightful sight during the course of the day.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Preeti,

    As always you come with a nice post that ask a question or make a point.
    This topic in discussion is a double edged story...
    And i say that we will keep meeting people who would try to train our energy. but the great part would be we have those people in our life who will re-fill us back with they presence.

    So koi nahi, i say it better to have two faced coin, rather then having same sided coin (one that Veeru had in Sholey)

    btw yaar, your garden would be best place you to be :-0

    Cheers,
    Anish

    p.s. i wish you and your family have a nice long weekend thats just round the corner...

    ReplyDelete
  20. The title kinda misled me in the beginning ;)
    For one, I like this space, one always leaves it in a happy mood. Yeah, I did miss it while I was away! :)

    I love Tulips, I truly do!
    Loved the questions, particularly the 5th one.

    P.S: How have you being? :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. oo the flowers are so pretty :)
    I'm getting tempted to get some. No garden on our 7th floor though, the balcony will have to suffice :D
    My current Happiness boost: A colleague who's diabetic brought a huge box of chocolates to work and handed them to me saying, " Meira these made me think of you so I want you to have them"
    How.Wonderfully.Wonderful

    ReplyDelete
  22. Meira: Truly wonderfully wonderful! :) Mmmmmmmm :-)

    Sparkling: heh heh (regarding title) :-) Oh yes--i love those tulips too. I was wondering how long they will last. Its been more than 10 days now.

    Anish: yes I guess you're right. We need the drains to appreciate radiators more! You have a super weekend too.

    Mamta: Gift of a loving family is truly a cherished one. Not everyone has it. Touch wood touch wood!

    Himani: same pinch, same pinch :-) I love those things too :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Virgin author: Welcome to my blog.It was a chapter in my first book :-) I too think it is the small things that make a big difference.

    Pointblank: Yes--coincidence indeed!

    Anu: I also like taking flower pics (as is evident) :-)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hi Preeti,

    I have been following your blog for past few days. I stumbled upon ur blog when I was browsing on internet. I love all your posts. I feel good and happy reading your blog :)
    Keep writing :)

    -Regards,
    Poornima

    ReplyDelete
  25. Poornima: Welcome to my blog :)Thank you for the kind swords :) Are you the same poornima who mailed me this morning?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Aww. this is a good post.. my happiness boosters.. a kiss from my li'l one for no reason, the smell from the jai mogore blooming in my patio, the random splash of colors in the wild( maybe not so wild) alongside freeways here in california, the voice of my mom from India
    (miss her too much), the taste of anything made from scratch.. now let's see the daffodils..

    Arc

    ReplyDelete
  27. loved d tulips ...
    happiness boost 4 me ..wen d family is 2gether ..enjoyin ..a meal cooked by me ...

    ReplyDelete
  28. Shaggy: Oh-i too enjoy that a lot! And we always make it a point to eat dinner together. :-)

    Arc: Thank you for sharing :) and welcome to my blog. (i dont think you have commented before) yes yes--posting daffodils right away :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Yes, even I like to hang out with friends who pep me up. I avoid people who have negativity around.

    I just spoke to a friend of mine y'day who said 'Asha, it's so nice talking to you, you are so informative'.

    I too make it a point to hug and cuddle my children. I call these 'Huggies' and 'pampers' session.

    A lively post, Preeti. Shows what an energetic and positive person you are.

    ReplyDelete
  30. @Preeti: Nope... I think it was some one else.

    ReplyDelete
  31. The emotional vampires exist everywhere and just can't be avoided at all times. I think you have to make a conscious decision to stay happy and not let their negativity affect you. You have to distract yourself and deviate to something or someone positive and not go with the flow of negativity.

    My happiness quotient...I need to think deep and hard :)

    ReplyDelete

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