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Good things



For our 13 th wedding anniversary, we had made a week end trip to a lovely beach called Kashid, which is about 170 kilometres from pune, on the Konkan coast. The trip was lovely, memorable, soothing. The best part was that we were totally cut off from the outside world. Mobiles (and black berrys too. I HATE those things—heh heh!) did not work there.


We had almost the whole beach to ourselves. When we went to the beach, early in the morning, the tide had washed ashore hundreds of colourful pebbles. They were so beautiful, embedded in the sand. (see pictures.Click to enlarge) It made me think that they are like people who come into your life, at different points in time. I have moved all my life and I feel blessed that I have the ability to make friends easily. Whatever place I have lived in, I still have good friends there, whom I can just call and say I am visiting them and they would welcome me with open arms. (Another good thing about moving is that you can lose touch with the ones you do not want in your life!)


Lying on the beach, watching my family at the distance, and listening to the ocean sounds was really tranquilizing and I could not help philosophising. At different points in our lives, different people are important. We change every day. The people around us change every day. I am sure that you are no longer the person that you were five years ago. Satish always says that in life, there are no permanent friends and no permanent enemies. I used to argue with him about the permanent friends part. I used to tell him that some friends ARE permanent. Yet, time has proven that even good friends do drift apart for various reasons. Sometimes, it could just be that your friend was really busy getting on with their life and after a while you began getting on with yours. Sometimes, it could be that you changed and you outgrew the friendship. Sometimes you drift apart as your spouses cannot stand each other’s spouses after marriage! (All married couples here would agree!)

As one grows older, one becomes really picky and choosy about whom to let into your life. Most of us who have crossed 35, would agree that unlike in your twenties, what people think, does not matter at all. You become aware that time is indeed running out and you are getting older. (Perhaps a thought which never occurred in the twenties) You want to make the most of NOW. You are so much more confident (Perhaps, having seen life and faced birth and may be death too. Both change you.) and so much surer of what you want, where you want to go and whom you want to spend time with.

As I lay there thinking, I was so thankful for the good friends, currently in my life. Secretly, I still feel that some things never change. Some things are indeed permanent—and some friendships do last forever.

At least in your heart.

Comments

  1. hey, very nice post :)
    permanent friends are indeed very rare.......... gosh it is so good to have them......... otherwise things would have been tough......few months ago we all where in college having fun and now most of they have gone....only few of them are in tough(I guess they are the 'permanent' one)

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  2. Truly said, Preeti... I agree that frnds can not be permanent.. infact, we must not expect that much... because I know my reasons (family related) for drifting away from frnds and they are all perfectly valid, and my friends understand that (I am lucky here)...

    But I know that any amount of distance (physical distance & the distance of time too) will not lessen the friendship or the mutual feeling friends have for each other...

    We are in the habit of saving our moments for the lonely days. :-) I am sure u do too. Think of it this way :-)

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  3. gald to know that you ahd a rocking time.. thebeack with all the pebbles looks awsome...

    friends can't be permement in most the cases, but friendship - the bond and the love- is permenent...

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  4. one of my holidays i must say :)

    just relax and enjoy a moment ,guess that is needed in this fast paced world.

    Yes indeed sometimes before you realise friends do drift away due to various reasons.

    Have fun :)

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  5. Sachin :Thanks! I guess time will tell--who are permanent and who are not.

    Punam: I do! :) Yes--one should not expect anything to last forever.

    xh: I loved the pebbles too. True--love is permanent (at least in your heart!)

    Stalag sukhoi: Thanks--I will!

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  6. Nice thots PS. Very honest...Its scary to think nothing is permanent in life...not friends, not family, not the possessions, not even ourselves..rite?
    Yes i'm not wat i was 5 yrs back..but the fundamental me...remains..n thts the consolance!
    I wld like to hope n blv tht something will never change...well just hope...
    I'm not even close to 35 but i honestly don't care of wat ppl think abt me...Well, people have alwez told me im way too mature for my age...experiences does that to people i guess!

    BTW....lovely pics!Glad u celebrated ur anniversary so beautifully!

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  7. i loved the picture with the pebbles its really pretty! :)

    well, as far friendships being permanent i am not sure. i definitely wish they were permanent though!
    i have had my really close freinds leave in a matter of years or even one who left in months!(oh wait? am i the weird one then that they left me? *nervous breakdown approaching*)
    well even if i am weird, i think my close friends are the ones who dig my weirdness right?

    but the point is i am not really sure abt permanent friendships. i can say i have one or two and i am lucky just for that! :)

    nice pictures and glad that u had a great trip!

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  8. True! I am also not in touch with many friends today with whom I used to think I'll never part... but then I know that I can walk into their homes any time I want and if I really need them, they'll be there. And does growing older make us little stronger and more practical about these separations..it is not as heart breaking as it used to be when one was younger!

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  9. So so so true, every word you've said here...

    What S said is true to an extent...permanency in a friendship lasts in the form of memories, love, cherished moments. You might never see each other or speak for ages, but when yuo do, if the bond is strong enough, you'll just pick up from where you had left...and that brings in the strength to your friendhip....

    Did u take back bags of those lovely looking pebbles....they are so beautiful..and so tempting...Hope you did..?

    I'm so glad that you had that 'away time' to yourself...

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  10. I totally agree that friendships don't stay the same because people don't stay the same. We are all changing all the time, but that is not necessarily a bad thing, is it? Just the other day someone was telling me "you have changed" - and I said "and isn't that good?" Change is not always bad. At least I would like to believe that I have changed for better.

    Great write up as usual :)

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  11. Very nicely said Preethi. You are 100% correct..we do get choosy about our friends when we get older. Iam no longer friends with someone who is a drainer on me..earlier i used to put up with him/her but now No WAY!

    It is always nice to be away with family..we were away on a holiday last weekend for my husband's bday. Sheer bliss :-)
    Cheers & Stay blessed

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  12. Happy 13th hun!

    beautiful beautiful beach pics WOW!

    Keshi.

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  13. preeti, this line *As one grows older, one becomes really picky and choosy about whom to let into your life. * really says it all...

    i kept wondering why i don't make friends that easily now (not the hello ones but real friends) ...now i know...

    and time running out!!...boy, i think of that all the time...

    the pebble pic is really pretty...

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  14. :-)
    ..that would've been 'grrrr' if not for the last para..
    ..bitter truth that the beauty in some friendships just fade away

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  15. Indeed. Somethings never change.
    A very heartwarming post :-)
    I love the last pic :-)

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  16. ummmm....are those feet urs in the pic?

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  17. good insight to the post marriage life:).[helpful to bachelors like us]...enjoy ...bye!!!:)

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  18. Pavi: thanks! I never thought about these things when i was in my twenties--it hits you hard in your thities--at least it did hit me.

    Black Coffee: oh yes--I agree with you about being thankful for the current ones--and yes, things do change--even friends change :)

    wannabe writer: True! U said it right when you said its not as heartbreaking as it used to be.

    Prats:Nopes--I didnt have the heart to pick them and bring them back with me--they belonged there--they looked so pretty embedded in the sand like that--taking it away would have somehow spoilt it.

    Pink dogwood:Yes--change i not alway bad--in fact i think we OUGHT to change--how else can we have something to look forward to each day?

    Chitra:I too used to put up with drains when i was younger.Now i am absolutely sure of whom i want in my life!

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  19. Keshi: thanks!

    Shruti: why 'Grrrr'? it is true! When you are older you'll agree :) priorities do change a lot.

    Raaji: Hope so!!

    Nancy: yes.

    Brocasarea:Canot believe bachelors will even believe, read or relate!!It was meant mostly for older folks like us :)

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  20. :)

    kashid is one of the loveliest becahes, isnt it?! :)

    friends! i guess there are some friendships that indeed are forever! :) you may not meet them or even talk to them often... but you know when you need them, they will be there in a jiffy! be it to celebrate good times or give you a shoulder to cry on!

    such friends are few and far in between! yet they make your life special by just being there! :)

    lovely thoughts on an idyllic holiday! perfect! :)

    cheers!

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  21. This post was like a breather for me. I loved every portion. For some reasons now, i am glad that we do not remain the same people. We change as years sum up together.:)

    Thanks Ps for this lovely post.

    Cheers.

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  22. @ ps.."wise learn from their mistakes but wiser learn from others mistakes"...:))

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  23. Very thoughtful post. I have a few friends who are very close to me... I still feel they are my best friends in my heart but everyone is far away from me... they have their own life to worry about... These feelings memories and ups and downs are like the pebbles in the life... some may be ugly some may beautiful... but together makes a wonderful life...
    like the pic u clicked...Good one.

    Cheers :-)

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  24. friendship is a two way thing..so as he says it aint not necessarily a rule that it would last forever..as much as we want though..

    neways nice snaps..seems to be really a hidden beach spot of sorts..

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  25. Love that last picture :)
    One time I heard something that I never forgot: "people come into your life for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime". You just never know, but the last ones are really hard to find!

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  26. count me in too PS..
    am 21 and i feel as if I am being handed the responsibility of living with my grandchildren..as in i feel matured to that level...

    seriously speaking, these days, even in the twenties, you start feeling as if you thirty-ish :)

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  27. Hey Preeti,

    Lovely post. If this is what comes out of visiting a beach resort, you need to go there more often :)

    But, seriously, I, too, like you, like to think that everything would remain the same as it is as this point in time. And, I worry myself unnecessarily over what will happen if my close relationships were to suddenly no longer be there :(

    But, like you said, we can only be grateful for the friendships we have currently & hope for the best.

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  28. "Most of us who have crossed 35, would agree that unlike in your twenties, what people think, does not matter at all."

    Totally!

    True friendship always remains.. Even if life gets in your way at times.

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  29. Lovely picturs and look like a lovely family outing!

    I had read this post on my phone the other day but forgot to post my comment on it!

    These sea shells look like a zoomed out shot of a beach and those colored shells look like those colorful umbrella shades and people lying around :) Me and my weird imagination ehh :D

    You are in Pune if I'm right. And since your itnerest is in arts thought you would like to read this http://www.anniezaidi.com/2008/05/mothers-flowers.html

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  30. nice picture of the pebbles on sand.

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  31. I guess it's the 80-20 rule that applies here too.. as one grows older you only that 20% of the lot with you.

    Which is nice in a way.. quality over quantity definitely helps when one is getting older.

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  32. Hey i hav been to Kashid as well!its a beautiful virgin beach which has not yet bcome crowded as other beaches but i guess soon it will b crowded like other beaches.... :( hmm btw nice pics!! :)

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  33. interesting...glad you had a wonderful time....

    and nothing is permamnent physically I guess but the feeling and emotions do and can last a lifetime

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  34. Ok, so now Kashid is one of the places on my "To Visit" list!! Thanks...Those pebbles are amazing!
    And I agree about the "we all change" part. However I must be an exception for I have become less confident, not more, with age...(More on this on my latest post)
    Anyway, this was beautiful...Keep it coming...

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  35. 13th wedding anniversary!! WOW!

    I felt so old and so weary after reading your post because I realized that I have not even achieved what so many of my other friends at my age have. I feel so behind.

    But then your post is heartwarming too. It reminds me of all the angels that I have met wherever I have gone and how these angels keep changing but they remain forever in my heart.

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  36. Happy Anniversary Peetri I read your hubby's post and that was so adorable You are very lucky with such a nice man and he is lucky of course as well,
    What a nice beach We have on the west coast beaches with beautiful stone as well and as a family we loved collecting stones shells and driftwood.
    Seems you had a great time and hope many more nice years will follow

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  37. Congrats for a succesful 13 years and for many more to come.
    Beach ,pebbles & philosophy..just a grand alliance.Your thoughts mirror many of ours I guess.Friendships,many a times fade or drift away with time and only the beautiful moments remain as memories and bring a smile when we think back.May be those are the benefits,if one is permitted to say,of beautiful friendships !
    TC
    CU

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  38. As usual, made me think :) I'm gonna write a post on something similar soon :)

    Now i know where to go looking for inspiration when m experiencing a writer's block!

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  39. good to know u had a great time,and ya i guess life does not permit us to have permanant friends... and ya about not being able to hande the spouses of some friends are true too :P

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  40. they say tht we mke on an average 18 gud friends in college and in old age it will dwidle to 2...

    beautiful pictures ...rite now iam at a period on my life where i wud love to escape somewhere with my family where the fones dont work..

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  41. I used to think much different about friend till i was in college. I used to think there is no one that I made friends and will not keep in touch.
    To my surprize, my best friend (irony), just got out of touch. Feels bad. My parent still ask me how he is, and I lie all that I can about how good he is.
    It sucks! ;-) but then.. life moves on, aint it?

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  42. Beautiful photos and beautiful writing. I grew up on the shore and would walk on the beach every day and I would collect one or two 'special' pebbles, ones that really caught my eye and I would toss them out into the waves as far as I could so they could continue their journey. Scott and I have moved so many times because he was in the Air Force, and I've left so many people behind. I always hope that some day I'll see some of them again and be able to witness how they have changed.

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  43. Hi. It's odd that I should drop by now after a while and you should be writing about change. I believe that the one thing we can count on in life (other than death and taxes) is change. It's constant.

    Sorry I have not been by but I have been going through a hard time.

    I hope you had a wonderful anniversary. It souns like you did.

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  44. a different kind of post from you! introspective.... i loved it.

    and you definintely don't let anyone get away easily, do you? you make sure you have the last word :P

    my outlook of life is that 'nothing is permanent, everything passes'.

    but i fully agree with your view that we should make the best and fullest use of NOW!

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  45. Great post and fantastic pictures!

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  46. how right...freindships remain only our perceptions change...some fiendships weather all storm..some dont..with time

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