Sunday, October 30, 2011

Five maxims to live by.

Over the years certain things I have learnt and accepted have stood me in great stead when things in my life went awfully wrong. Here are five maxims that I live by and swear by!

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1.There is NOBODY who will understand you perfectly except yourself. Not your soul mate, not your best friend, not your parent, not your spouse, not your children..Nobody. Yes, they may understand you up to a large extent, they may say they understand and sometimes you just have to accept that it is good enough.

2.Everybody learns only if they themselves live the lesson. You learn only when you go through it yourself. Your friends may describe what it is like based on what they went through. Your parents may have their own views. But only when one experiences it for oneself does one truly understand. There is no point trying to make someone understand what it really is like, because they have never been there. 

3.Beyond a point you cannot take responsibility for your parents happiness. Your parents are adults. They have made their choices. Yes, they have given birth to you, raised you provided you with everything , but that does not mean you can fix every single thing in their lives and that is truly okay. It is they themselves who are responsible for their happiness or snappiness :P. (you can do what you can and rest one has to let go)

4.Don't expect, instead accept. Most people have their own way of dealing with things and it may be completely different from your own. They may not see things the exact same way YOU do. Two people may see a closed door. One may imagine a beautiful garden which lies beyond and the other might think there is someone imprisoned there. Each of us have our very own closed doors.  Accept it and do not expect people to do what you want them to.

5. Life is truly unpredictable and there is really no telling when it is your last day. (My cousin lost his wife a fortnight back. She was just 35, really hale and hearty and has two kids under the age of 8. She was there in the morning and by evening she was no more. It was a massive shock for all of us) So wear that best dress/ best shirt that you have been conserving for a 'special occasion'. Use that expensive perfume! Make every single day a day to celebrate!

Express what you feel.

Celebrate!
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PS:  You can interact with me on my Facebook page.  I reply to almost all comments and I check it very regularly. I do read all the comments left here too  and manage to reply most of the time even if slightly late :)

40 comments:

  1. :)
    After reading this, i've got a BIG smile on my face..! Thanks.!

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  2. What a terrific post. Your recent posts are quite motivative. Sometimes I really feel good after reading your posts.
    And I like the 1,2 and 4 points.Really it's better to accept rather than expect.Because when someone is not able to live upto your expectations you would really feel broken.
    And nobody can understand you is always right.
    All the points are itself the key points for the life.

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  3. truely inspiring lines ever...:) i loved it alot...
    .....loved ur words frm the core of my heart...:)

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  4. All this is just so true..i agree with each points,you shared :)
    Since long, I was a little disturbed about having so much expectations from your parents,you try doing everything that makes them happy.But then, when it comes to abiding yourself to certain restrictions(sometimes very silly), they have set for you, and you know there's no harm doing that-this really hurts.Of course you want to do nothing that would make your parents feel bad but not at the cost of taking kind-of freedom away from your lives

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  5. All this is just so true..i agree with each points,you shared :)
    Since long, I was a little disturbed about having so much expectations from your parents,you try doing everything that makes them happy.But then, when it comes to abiding yourself to certain restrictions(sometimes very silly), they have set for you, and you know there's no harm doing that-this really hurts.Of course you want to do nothing that would make your parents feel bad but not at the cost of taking kind-of freedom away from your lives

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  6. It is needless to ponder upon the point that we feel better when we read you. But what is more urgent is to send this signal to you with our wings... " yes, you have taught us rightly how to fly".

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  7. wonderful.....magical words....when u read ...u feel like doing something worth.....thanks.....

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  8. I totally agree with you. But sometime it's too hard to actually let go few things. I can't help myself.
    People do need to make mistake in order to understand what is wrong / right, you will never be able to convince them making wrong decision. I guess that's life :)

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  9. One of my favorite song "If today was your last day " by Nickleback says the very thing, live each day to its fullest.....your post reminded me again how life can turn around any moment and its really short to have regrets. So what you are planning for tomorrow do it today :D

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  10. Yes Preeti, what a truthful lines, yes life s uncertain. yes life is like an ice cream, enjoy it before it melts. once again thanks for such a post preeti.

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  11. Nice post.. All those points are exactly true. Thanks a lot for the 3rd point. I really needed it at this time :)

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  12. Quite sumthin, n agreeable to say the least :)

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  13. Right lesson at a right time. Thank you.

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  14. totally loved them Preeti.. such true lines ...

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  15. awesomeness madam .. completely learned things from Ur points of life these were things i never realised and yeah from i wont expect i ll accept coz problems in my life comes coz i expect from closest of ppl in my life ..keep rocking loadz of love .and yeah i loved Ur novel life is what u make it :)

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  16. Hi Preethi,

    This is my first comment on your blog, though i have been following it for quite sometime. Sorry for that. I know how it feels when one does not acknowledge a post by not commenting.
    Very well thought and written, nice to know the five maximums you live by. You emit a lot of positivity. I wish to absorb some from you.

    Thanks,
    Sushma

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  17. Yes...true...
    and thank you...

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  18. That third one I am struggling with. Each one is profound. Living in the moment and in the present is something that I have embraced fully after becoming a mother!

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  19. It felt really great to read this - first thing in the morning. It was a like a reminder for me for the day and now whenever I go overboard, I can always come back and read this post of yours to remind myself... And have to say "You have got it all right there!!!"
    Waiting to read your new book!

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  20. Lovely post, PS. Sorry to hear about your loss. We lost a close friend 6 months ago in an accident, he was 36. Live and be happy for today is my mantra. Hugs, Chitra

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  21. Hello Preeti

    Well said....I agree with all..esp the 3rd point. There are many a times when we feel that we are responsiblr for the happiness of our parents..and there are times when we tend to feel guilty for something which was not in our hand....

    Ur posts are a must read every morning!!!

    Gayu

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  22. Hi Preeti, Its been a long while since I commented here. First of all a BIG HUGGG ((())) to you for such a terrific post, it seems you have read my mind and written this specially for me.. I would like to believe so :). I am going through such a rough patch and your post has pepped me up so much.. love you for this.... take care
    Rekha

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  23. Lovely post as always!!! After having been a regular reader since last one and half year, ur writing has shaped up my thought process positively and i THANK YOU for that. Keep writing and keep blogging!

    Eagerly waiting for ur next book :)

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  24. Nice post.. All those points are exactly true.

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  25. 1st 2nd 4th and 5th are good especially the 5th one ...3rd is bit hard to follow ..:)

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  26. Thought-provoking post...I love reading what u write & mull on it long afterwards!!!

    I'm curious....the 3rd point, wd u apply the same on children also???

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  27. Nice Blog...All the best to u for ur new book...:-)

    -ur fan from bangalore

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  28. I must say.. that yours are words of experience.. for me I am only in the learning stage.. but happy.. because I have gone through it... from trial and error.. slowly learning how to cope with it... taking one step at a time... I can understand the serenity on your face is because you have already reached the finish line.. God bless...

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  29. Hey,

    A very good post indeed. Loved and agreed every bit of it :)

    But i need to let you know, that i got an e-mail yesterday with the same post, but as a forward and without any link back to you. Just thought should let you know :)

    Have a good life ahead

    Cheers :)

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  30. Oh, so true, love it! :)

    Smiles,
    Nandita

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  31. reflections: i do believe that our children are not the leat bit responsible for OUR happiness!! WE are!

    Gossisipi:Well, there's nothing I can do about it is there?! Everyone knows I wrote it! And if they benefit from it, well an=d good but yeah and acknowledgement would have been nice!

    Cocktail party: Oh no!! I am not dead yet!! :D

    Bengalooru fan: I don't read kannada though i can speak it..thanks!

    Nanspai:Thanks!
    '
    Nikhil, Vinay, Bhavika: thank you!

    Rekha, Gayu:Thanks!!

    Chitra: Hugs!

    Sandya:Thanks a lot! You are beautiful!

    Shachi, krishna.Sushma:Thanks!

    Shubendhu, Suku, Chandu,Basil:Thanks so much :)

    Pied piper:thanks

    Ankita; Yes true :-)One of my fav names--ankita!


    Kurund, krishna, Nilanjan:Thank you!!

    Aish,Vipul, Lima, Sanjana:Glad my words help you!Thank you :)

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  32. welcome :-)......Vinod Rai here...
    ...its ok madam...i can speak malayaalam also !!

    -VINOD RAI

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  33. Namaskara Vinod rai :)

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  34. A nice post... I can relate to each point and truly agree to it all..
    Sangeetha

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  35. Hi Preeti, What a beautiful, relevant and touching post! Am so glad I read it. All points have relevance and an insightful perspective. For example, where you talk about not expecting but accepting - that's something I've followed to a T and it brings me a lot of peace of mind at the end of the day.

    The point about parents. I think we can't underestimate the fact that parents are far more mature, vulnerable and insightful than we give them credit for. At times, the age factor makes them more emotionally unpredictable and unreasonable without their knowing it but its our turn to kind of make their twillight years worthwhile because they've stood by us right from the time we barely knew the world or its ways. I know you have a point that we shouldnt hold ourselves responsible for their happiness but I slightly beg to differ there. I would rest my case only if my parent was truly out of any kind of intelligent control. Otherwise, in normal circumstances, I would see it as something integral to my dignity and integrity to celebrate and watch out for the happiness and well being of my parents. Its up to them of course whether to reject that or not but this would be something I strive for for myself and not necessarily for them. Just wanted to share my thoughts on that one point.

    From what I see around me, I think that children, once grown up, have become so selfish that even doing a small errand for their aged parents is like a herculean 'mission impossible' task they have done and they expect applause for it. I am sure that I wouldn't like to be one of those people.

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  36. Swapna : Thank you for your thoughts! Nowhere have I advocated selfishness on the part of adult children and nowhere have I said adult children should walk away from their responsibilities. What I have said is 'Beyond a point'..And it is easy to judge 'those people'.. But what if they have had a suppressed abusive childhood and a toxic parent? Many times we pass judgements without ever living in the other persons shoes and without really knowing the whole story!

    SP:Thanks!

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  37. Truly Said in your 3rd Point ''Beyond a point you cannot take responsibility for your parents happiness. Your parents are adults. They have made their choices.''
    Thank you so much , I am living by the same...

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  38. Great maxims to live by...though I'd a little different view on 2nd point about learning...

    We can very well learn by others experience too,without actually living the lesson...What about we learning maxims and key points of living life by your experiences...??

    Now answer that!!!!

    I am a believer that books and thoughts shared by others may be a part of learning(adds up to) but yes to use them effectively it boils down to that individual...

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  39. am commenting here after so long! but these maxims really touched a chord!
    have been too lazy to comment off late! will try to be more regular!! :)

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  40. how true we never know if today is the last day so live & celebrate

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